Once Upon A Time When It Was Easy
by midnightquiver
Summary: It's just the three of them now. Meredith went to find her brother, Damon's gone. Elena...nobody talks much about her, Stefan hasn't been heard from in a long while, Bonnie found her way home and so did Matt. They returned maybe to find some sort of peace in a home they left...They find more than they bargained for.
1. Home

It always led back to this place didn't it, bonnie thought to herself as she walked up the walkway to the normal hangout in town.

"Home." She breathed

She hadn't had plans on coming back. She shouldn't have even been here. To any supernatural being, she was wanted. It was all because of her past. Wasn't she supposed to be dead anyways? Young and beautiful in her coffin. By now she was nineteen. Everything had changed. Elena had fallen for Damon at the wrong time and so had I once, but now he was gone. Stefan was gone to, just not in the sense Damon was.

She left. Matt did as well and so did Meredith. Matt had a college scholarship to tend to and Meredith and a twin to look for. Bonnie had helped her in the search for a little while. Meredith told her to go only after they had an actual run in with him and he'd said that he found Bonnie to be extremely attractive and that she'd really hit a sweet spot. He'd also said that if she was lucky she'd lived forever. Bonnie laughed a little sounding a little strangled and said that forever was an awfully long time.

So now she stood out on the sidewalk extremely sure she wouldn't see anyone she knew around. Sucking it up though, she walked inside and sat down in one of the booths. Looking around she saw a few high school students talking and having a good time.

"I remember when it was that easy…then I nearly got killed a few times." She muttered

Looking away, she sighed.

"You look lonely."

"Just a little." Bonnie mumbled as she laid her head down

"Well, I'm good at keeping people company, especially if they're a friend of mine."

Bonnie's head popped up and her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" she asked

"Eh, had some break time and I heard you came home from your little journey."

"Meredith told you." She said

He just nodded.

"It's good to see you Matt." She said with a small smile "Have you heard from anyone else?"

He shook his head.

"It all kind of went downhill when Damon died." He said quietly

That aching feeling she felt every once in a while from thinking about Damon came to her. She just tried to ignore it.

"So college eh? Any cute guys you can introduce me to?" she asked changing the subject

The two started laughing.

"It's okay Matt. I know a few anyway." she laughed before he could answer

He saw them sitting there. This is how it was for them before he'd come along. Maybe it was a bad idea to be thinking he could come back. He came back thinking none of them were there and yet there the two of them were laughing and carrying on. At least 'she' wasn't there. He'd kept tabs on the two of them even though they never heard from him. He still saw them as his friends, he still cared. He didn't want to see them end up like his brother who happened to be six feet under so to speak.

That's when she looked over. It was as if she had just known. She stared at him for a moment and tilted her head to the side. Looking down at the table briefly. She looked back up and he was gone.

"Home…" she muttered "Good to be home… I think."

**Alright ya'll this is one of those Stefan Bonnie things. Idk I'm kinda hooked on them. They have that chemistry that could show potential if anyone would shine the light one them. Here I am holding the flashlight haha. **

**This is the teaser so, you know how it works.**


	2. Justin

So they were the only ones to actually come back. Did that make them any less sane then him? Probably not. Resisting the want to go and see how they were, he turned away and left. The look on her face wouldn't leave his mind though. She'd given him her curious look and he walked away.

"Bonnie?"

Bonnie snapped from her daze and looked at Matt.

"You alright?" he asked

"Yeah, I just didn't think I'd be coming back is all." She said quietly "It's like nothing happened."

"I know." Matt agreed as he looked over and saw Vickie Bennett by the bar

She was supposed to be six feet under, but that changed. It all changed. No one knew what had happened, no one, but them.

"I should probably go. I told Mary that I'd meet up with her." bonnie said as she started to stand

Matt stood as well.

"Yeah, I got to go see if there's an opening for me down at the auto shop." Matt said

"Good luck with that." she said with a slight smirk

"What's that mean?" he axed

"I know how many times you screwed your poor cars over." She laughed

"They don't." he said laughing a little now too

"Valid point."

He wrapped an arm around her as they walked out.

"I'll probably see what I can do about getting some classes." Bonnie said

"Good." he said "You should've been in college anyways."

"I'm sorry. I was busy trying to help one of our friends maybe you know her. Meredith? The one with the vampire brother problem and all that?" she hissed a little offended "Plus it's not official. I just might get a regular job"

"Yes, I know. You just shouldn't have to do that." he said

"It was a choice. I was shoved out anyways when her brother took a fond interest in me."

"What?" he said slightly shocked "You actually found him?"

"Mhm. It was…interesting." She said as she tilted her head to the side a little thinking about it

Matt shook her a little in disbelief.

"At least you're alive." He said

"Of course I'm alive."

He smiled down at her then gave her a hug.

"We'll talk more later." He said

"Definitely." She agreed

As Matt walked off he turned.

"You we're crazy right?" he said

"No, why?" she called after him

"We came back here!"

Bonnie scoffed and walked off. He was more than likely right.

Looking up, she smiled. The setting sun was shooting the most wondrous colors across the sky. It was summer now or at least soon would be. Maybe that's why Matt had come back. Getting so close to the end of a school year for him, he had to find somewhere to settle for the summer.

She hummed one of her favorite songs to herself along the walk. By the time she got to the house it was dark.

"Bonnie?"

"Hey sis." Bonnie answered

"Well, you're a little late, because now I have to go to work."

"Alright. I'll finish my room up then."

"I still can't believe you're going through with this." her sister said "you come back from your little adventurous trip and just start packing all your stuff."

"You can't expect me to live here forever." Bonnie laughed

"No, but it would've been nice if you didn't move around so much. You've got time."

"Fine, I'll wait until tomorrow." Bonnie said

Her sister smiled and pecked her on the cheek.

"Love you." She smiled on her way out

"Uh-huh." Bonnie said unconvinced

The front door closed as Bonnie walked up the stairs. As she reached the top there was a knock at the door. She turned a little. A sudden nervous feeling cam over her.

"Who'd be here?" she asked herself quietly

After a few seconds there came another knock.

"Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go away." she mumbled

As if heard, the knocking ended. She still stood there at the top of the stairs half expecting another one though. After a few minutes she walked down the hall to her room. She flicked the light on and just stood there in the doorway. It looked the same as it always had. It was like it was just waiting for her return. It was too bad she wasn't staying though.

"It's not like I can stay a kid forever." She told herself "Those days are over."

Then all of the sudden there was a tapping on her window making her jump. Rushing over to it she noticed who it was.

"Jeez, Justin! What's wrong with you?" she said as she put a hand over her heart which pounded relentlessly in her chest

"Oh, I'm sorry, but someone doesn't know how to answer a door." he said laughing a little

"What are you doing here anyways?" she hissed as she stepped aside to let him in

"I'm your stalker remember? Plus I care about you." He smiled

Bonnie scoffed as she slapped him on the chest.

"Hey!" he exclaimed "Do you greet all your friends this way?"

"No, just you. You're special." She smiled as she left her room

"Knew it." he grinned as he followed

"So what are you doing here again?" she asked

"Well, you said you were heading home. I thought you'd like a visitor, but I can go if you like." He said

"No." she said "I just didn't expect you is all."

He shrugged as Bonnie rolled her eyes and made her way into the kitchen. Justin was one of those people who was hard to be around yet you couldn't stand to be away or you just might miss something. She'd met him in New Orleans during the search. He was on Spring Break then. At first it was just Bonnie hustling him in pool because both she and Meredith needed the money. Then it was him saving her butt from getting filleted by muggers. From then on the two just had the habit of running into each other at the most interesting times. Until he just asked for her number and had never lost touch. It wasn't hard to tell he liked her.

She wouldn't deny that she found him extremely attractive either, but she steered clear of having that kind of relationship. She just didn't feel she could, but it didn't stop him. He still came around and she still rolled her eyes. She didn't get why he did though. She'd only grown two inches and her curled hair was now in waves.

"So what is there to do around here Red?" he asked

"Don't call me that." she said quietly

"What? Red?"

"Yes. Someone else I really cared about used to call me that." she said

"What happened?" Just in asked

"He died." She said

Reaching up prepared to wipe tears away, she found her eyes dry. Justin grabbed her lightly by the arm and pulled her close. She let him hold her as she was swamped with that feeling all over again. The sorrow of losing it all. He was here though and that made her smile. He was good at making the old times not feel so horrible being he tended to help make new memories.

"I still can't believe you're here." she said "You should be back at your own home."

"I'll be honest. I thought about it, but it wouldn't be the same without the crazy chick." He said

"Hey!" Bonnie exclaimed "I am not crazy."

The two of them laughed and shared their stories about what had been going on for the past two months while they were apart. Bonnie told him about her moving out and he told her about his break-up.

"You should come down to New Orleans." He said

"No. That is just not the place for me. There's actually a place I've already paid for. It's in Salem Hills." She said

"That doesn't sound creepy." He said sarcastically

Creepy didn't register with her anymore. She'd seen creepy and it gave her nightmares which faded and so she'd just shrugged it off now. It was over. This was now where she started a normal kind of life.

As the thoughts rolled through her mind she felt Justin wrap his arms around her again. The feeling sent that weird fuzzy sensation through her.

"I'm glad you're here." she said

"Really?" he said

"Mhm. Who else am I going to get to carry my boxes and use their car to get it to my loft." Bonnie said


	3. Meeting New Beginnings and Old Friends

**Hey everyone. i'm updating early being i won't be able to for a few week, i hope you like the chapter and do review. reviews are my fuel :)**

Bonnie had fallen asleep sitting upright beside Justin. When Mary got home that morning she paused for a second then nodded in approval.

"Pretty impressed little sis." She mumbled before walking into the kitchen

About forty minutes later both Justin and bonnie stirred as there was sizzling in the air and they could smell the eggs and breakfast.

"Smells good." Bonnie mumbled

And it did. She couldn't remember the last time she'd smelt something so delicious. When it was her and Meredith they'd be eating fast food constantly. They were always on the road, were being the key word. She shoved Bonnie on the first flight home when Christian quirked an eyebrow at her. Apparently she couldn't take care of herself which wasn't completely wrong. Though now days she had to stand up and take care of herself.

Bonnie sat up and yawned as she stretched.

"Careful," just yawned "You nearly hit me."

"Darn." She said snapping her fingers with a joking smile

He nudged her a little then ran his fingers through his messy hair.

"I'm going to go see the cook and possibly kiss her if the food is good." he said as he stood

"And if it's a him?" she questioned with a curious look

Justin paused.

"A hug." He said

She laughed and followed. Mary was digging through cupboards.

"Hey sleepyheads." She beamed at them "I saw you sleeping and didn't want to bother you."

She was looking a Bonnie in particular with a slight smirk.

"It's cool." Justin said

As he got up and offered to get plates, Mary just nodded and watched him then shot a look at Bonnie.

"He is cute." She mouthed "You with him?"

Bonnie shook her head violently and waved her hands saying no. Justin turned and her hands dropped quickly.

"I'll be right back." he said

Both young women nodded.

"The bathroom…" he said

"Top of the stairs on your left." Bonnie said

"Thanks." He winked

Bonnie felt her cheeks heat up a little in a blush. Justin loved it when she blushed; it was adorable to him, though adorable wasn't her. She was beautiful.

"You cannot tell me you two are just friends." Mary said in a hushed whisper

"Believe it or not, I can manage to be friends with a hot guy."

"Oh, Bonnie stop being friends with hot guys and just date them already." Mary said

"Mary!" Bonnie squealed nearly dropping her fork

"I'm just saying. It seems you've come home and life seems to be going back to normal since you haven't acted weird at all. You should consider dating." She said

"You are not getting involved with whatever love life I have." Bonnie snapped

"Oh c'mon!" Mary hissed

Bonnie hissed at her as Justin came back into the room. The two grew silent quickly and Justin shifted awkwardly.

"Did I miss something?" he asked

"Oh no. Nothing." Bonnie gritted through her teeth

Justin looked from her to Mary and back.

"Well, I'm starving." He said trying to lighten the tension in the room

Bonnie nodded in agreement and shoved a mouthful of eggs in her mouth. after she finished she started up the dishes and Mary said she was heading into town for extra boxes.

"Mary, I don't have a lot of stuff." Bonnie protested

"Just in case." She winked

Bonnie bit her lower lip knowing that she was just leaving to give Justin and Bonnie supposed alone time. Bonnie saw him grin out of the corner of her eye and grimaced.

"At least she has the right idea." He said

Bonnie flung water at him.

"Hey now," he warned "don't start what you can't finish."

She just made a face at him and flung more water at him. In the next instant Justin grabbed the water hose for rinsing and squirted at her.

"Justin!" she squealed

He just laughed at her and put it down. Picking up the dish cloth next he tossed it at her. Bonnie just shook her head at him as she dried her damp hair.

"What are we? Twelve?" she said

"Sometimes. Other times I'm sixteen." He said wiggling his eyebrows at her

She just rolled her eyes and finished up the dishes. He stood off to the side making small conversation and drying them. Bonnie felt at ease with him and she hadn't felt that way in a long time. He seemed to make anything that hurt wash away for a while. Even more he got her to laugh and smile.

"So when are we packing you up then?" he asked as he put the last of the plates away

"Now is as good a time as any." She replied with a sigh

"You alright?" he asked

"Yeah…" she said distantly "I knew one day I'd be leaving and now I actually am. How do I know what I'm doing is right?"

"Does it feel right?" he asked

"Well, I really want to get away from this place. I don't want to be here longer than I want to." she said

"Then you're doing well." He said as he held out a hand in confidence

She took his hand and they both walked up the stairs to her room. For a moment though she just took her time. These were her memories and some of them she wanted to keep. Getting to her room, she scoffed at the picture she saw on her desk. It was funny, because Damon was in it. It was everyone. Damon looked like he was trying to get at Stefan and she was standing in between the two of them trying to stop him while Elena stopped Stefan and Matt was on Damon's back attempting to strangle him though he didn't notice while Meredith stood there just watching with a smirk that said these were her friends on a good day. There was always someone wanting to strangle another. Bonnie sniffled a little and picked up the frame and set it on the bed. Then she grabbed two others. One being of her, Elena, and Meredith and the other being of her and her family. Her mom looked happy in the picture. Bonnie set them on the bed as well so, they could be packed.

"The drawers…my favorite place." Justin said

"Oh no, you don't." Bonnie said quickly

She ran over and stopped him while he just laughed. After glaring at him for a second she sent him over to her computer desk to wrap up her laptop and other stuff on there. He shrugged and walked over to the desk. Bonnie sighed in relief that he didn't open the drawers. Not only were her undergarments in there, but a small velvet bound book. The small book she wrote in. Her diary and that diary had things in it that no one should read. She remembered when she had started writing it; it was when Elena had died the second time. She shuddered a little when thinking about it. Picking it up, she tossed it into the trashcan beside the dresser.

"What's that?" Justin asked

"Absolutely nothing." she said with a little confidence

For a moment she felt the small weight lift from her shoulders. Those memories didn't need to be carried with her.

Letting out a deep breath, Bonnie walked out of the room and to the hall closet. She pulled out two suitcases from the top shelf and walked back to the room and opened them up. Opening one drawer, she started taking out clothes and other stuff she had in them and put them in the first suitcase. Justin kept conversation simple. Sometimes he'd ask questions and she'd roll her eyes and throw something at him. His comments didn't help. Bonnie could remember though that there was a time where she didn't want a guy in her room, because she'd be embarrassed by how girlie it was and that he might prowl around.

After clearing out the dresser, she moved on to her closet. She flicked on the light and peered inside. It all seemed untouched and even a little dusty. She grabbed at hangers of clothes and walked over to her suitcase. She pulled them off the hanger and tossed the hangers out. she repeated that step about two more times then started grabbing her stuff off of the top shelf which was mostly just books.

"You told me you were a booknerd." Justin said after he heard a crash and saw that a huge amount of books had fallen on her

He chuckled a little and helped her pick them up then put them in a box. As he closed the box up, they heard the front door open.

"I'm home!"

"Break time." Justin said quickly

"No, If we take a break we will never finish." Bonnie said

"Just ten minutes." He somewhat pleaded with puppy eyes

"Those blue orbs don't work on me." she said

"Are you sure?" he said jutting out the pouty lip and moved closer

Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"You're sad." She sighed

"And you love it." he said as he hoisted her over his shoulder

"Put me down!" she giggled hysterically

"Nah." He said as the two made their way down the stairs

Mary was bringing in a few boxes and paused as she saw Justin set Bonnie on her feet.

"Did you get more tape?" Bonnie asked still laughing a little

"Yeah, actually." She said looking around as if she lost something "And I also ran into someone too."

"Oh?" Bonnie said

"Stefan." She said "He offered to help and I figured it you would enjoy seeing him again."

Bonnie turned that instant and saw him walking up the walkway with a few bags in his hands.

"Come in. you don't need to stand out there, you're welcome here." Mary said smiling

Stefan smiled and stepped inside and set the bags down.

"I picked some extra stuff up. Things I thought you might like for your new place." Mary said

Bonnie shook her head a little and looked at Mary.

"What?" she asked

Mary just shoved the bags at her and walked into the kitchen.

"Okay…" Bonnie trailed off

For several minutes the three of them just stood there awkwardly.

"I should go pack my room up some more." Bonnie said quietly

She bit the inside of her cheek and turned and went upstairs. Justin smiled awkwardly at Stefan and pointed towards her then followed.

Stefan had opened his mouth to say something, but just let out a breath. Words were stuck in his throat and he couldn't get them to come out. So he just watched her walk up the stairs with what he could only guess was her boyfriend. When did she get a boyfriend?

Probably the time her grew out, his mind answered. She seemed to be doing well with herself and he was glad. Walking into the kitchen, he offered to help Mary out with making drinks and getting a few of the dishes packed up so Bonnie would have some.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Bonnie set the bag beside the pictures on the bed and finished closing the second suitcase full of her clothes and set in on the floor. Grabbing the bag next, she opened it and her eyes went wide.

"Whoa." She breathed

Bonnie pulled out an iHome rotating dock along with an iPod touch. Her sister must've loved her. how could she even afford this? Was she working overtime?

"Damn, your sister loves you." Justin commented

"My sentiments exactly." Bonnie muttered

Putting the electronics down, she looked in the other bags. There was also a new small journal. There was a golden engraving on it saying 'For my deepest secrets that not even the ocean depths can hide'. It made her smile as she touched the lettering. She'd also gotten multiple colored pens. She also saw the bright blue fuzzy pillow in the other bag and laughed. The simple things that grabbed Mary's attention…she just sees something she likes and picks it up.

"I'm not going to ask what's funny." Justin said

"Just Mary being Mary." Bonnie said

Smirking she, put the things in a box and put her picture frame with it.

"So…" Justin said slightly pausing

He wasn't sure if he wanted to butt in, but the situation from earlier had him rather curious. Before he could bite his tongue though Bonnie looked at him curiously.

"He an old boyfriend? You two seemed pretty awkward around each other." He said

She snorted. It was funny he thought that those two had dated, but Stefan Salvatore with her? It was tragic to think about such a thing to the point where she was laughing. Justin looked at her worriedly.

"No." she said when she regained composure "Just an old friend."

**I know the chapter was a long one. I would like it if you reviewed, but now pressure;)**


	4. What Remains

Guess what?

I'm Baaaaack!(Caroline from The Poltergeist voice) lol

Update I shall. So here you go! I'm happy to be back to be honest. I was going crazy.

He'd heard the laughter upstairs. It was actual laughter yet he was sure it was the first time she had in a long while. He'd heard of her little adventures with Meredith and knew it must've been a hard road to have passed up college and end up on a road trip from hell.

"Here." Mary said pulling him from his silent thoughts and handing him a box "That goes in the SUV."

He just nodded and walked out of the kitchen and out to the drive. After putting the box into the back he turned and saw Bonnie waiting with her own box that needed put away.

"I'll take that for you." Stefan said taking it and putting beside the one he'd put in only seconds before

"thanks." She said

He just nodded. She turned and moved to go inside the house then turned around with a quizzical look.

"You could've said hi you know. Matt and I don't bite remember?"

Stefan chuckled a little at the pun intended. She was different and he saw it. She wasn't so scared. Sure, she was still her, but the minor changes were highly visible. She'd gained confidence. It couldn't all be from that vampire hunt, he decided. It had to have come from that Justin character.

"I remember." He said smiling

"Good, I expect that we'll be able to have coffee sometime in the future then." She said

"You drink coffee?" he asked

Bonnie could see the surprise clearly on his face. She wanted to laughed, but just stifled it back as she fiddled with her fingers.

"No, I don't. I do drink tea however." She said

Stefan nodded.

"I just figure there's some catching up to be done, but whatever. You don't have to. You probably have a life to get back to." She said suddenly wavering

"It's fine." He said "I have time for my friends. I have all the time in the world."

"I see." She said

It almost sounded mournful. Even the look in her eyes concluded that.

"Sometime then." She said a little more quietly

With a small nod, she turned and went inside. The loading took most of the day and by the time the sun fell behind the trees they were all tired.

"Moving is bothersome." Bonnie complained

"You could always stay." Mary said

"No!" Bonnie exclaimed "I'm not staying."

Justin snorted.

"Hard to crack as always." He commented

"Didn't always used to be." Mary muttered

Bonnie shot her a glare and laid back on the couch. Tonight she'd sleep and tomorrow morning she'd be gone. She smiled at the thought. That thought was quickly bursted like a bubble when Justin jumped on her and lounged on her. She just rolled her eyes and tried to shove him away. Mary was laughing hysterically and so was Justin by now.

"You're such a…" bonnie struggled

"Charmer?" Justin said filling in the blank

"Retard. I was going for retard." She said finally getting him off of her

As he went to argue the point, there was a knock at the door. Both Bonnie and Justin looked at each other quizzically and Mary jumped up to answer.

"Just pizza. I figured we'd be hungry and I was right." Mary said

"I should probably go." Stefan then said

It had been the first time he spoke since they had finished. Bonnie had nearly forgotten he was there. Why was he there? He was here to do the weird check up thing and wasn't leaving. It wasn't that she was complaining. Was he lonely? She didn't know and she didn't want to blurt it out. It must've hurt to lose her though to the one that died. It didn't seem, no, it wasn't the same after it all. It was safe to say, bonnie blamed her own stupid self for it and she never understood why he jumped in the way of it all. He should've just been Damon and let her get caught in her own trap. It would've only served her right.

"I'll be right back." Bonnie said suddenly as Justin was digging into the mutli topped pie

She rushed up the stairs. It happened again. She was crying and the pictures were there in her mind. Pictures of why she was so angry with herself and why she had attempted to atone for her wrong doing. Her wrong doing of letting someone die for you and yet she didn't even know if he'd ever actually cared for her. It was all the not knowing that hurt and she had tried multiple things to try and know them. She'd only get rejected.

Sniffling a little, she wiped her wet eyes.

"I do miss you." She whispered as she sat on the floor in the hallway "I am so sorry."

She didn't know how long she sat there. The wetness faded, but the thoughts didn't. The thoughts of how much of it was her fault. Maybe that was why Stefan had come. He'd come to rub it in. it's your fault he's gone and now everyone was kind of screwed up. No one had gotten lucky. She'd have to make a stop before she left tomorrow. A special place.

"Bonnie?"

Bonnie jumped and looked up to see Stefan looking at her from the edge of the stairway. He looked conflicted. It couldn't have come from her though. She stayed well blocked anymore. There was never any privacy.

"Yeah?"

"You hungry?" he asked

That wasn't question he wanted to ask. She knew it wasn't and he knew. Bonnie thought about it and attempted a smile.

"Starving." She replied

Standing, she followed him down the stairs.

"You have to stay, you know." She said

"I know, your sister made it rather clear." He said

Bonnie laughed a little. Her sister actually beat her to it. When she looked at the one empty pizza box and Justin getting ready to devour the next one, she was glad that Mary had gotten four boxes. Stefan sat on Bonnie's other side and every once in a while she'd feel him brush against her lightly whether it be his hand or arm by accident. She ignored it easily. She'd learned to do that a lot, but thought it would've been more complicated if it were with a vampire. The only thing she needed to avoid now were those deadly green eyes.

Conversation slowed after a while a Justin just flat out fell asleep on the entire length of the couch leaving Bonnie nowhere to sleep. Mary gave both Bonnie and Stefan a hug before going to bed.

"Guess, I'm clean up duty." Bonnie said as she stood and collected the now empty boxes

She shuffled into the kitchen and disposed of them in the trashcan. Stefan made his way toward the door, but seemed to be waiting on her. When she came from the kitchen she smiled up at him. It seemed a little broken though. Could he blame her for being broken? She had seen things one should never have to see and was given a guilt that couldn't bear.

Reaching out Stefan took her hand and pulled her into a hug. She relaxed easily in his arms which could easily break her. They now shared a burden together. No one would understand. No one could. If asked how it was different from any other it would be described in one simple word.

Damon.

Elena could understand even. She wouldn't. She couldn't. She just couldn't. There was no easy way to describe it either. Would things ever be okay?

"Goodnight Stefan." Bonnie said quietly as she pulled away

She didn't wait for his reply. She just walked upstairs and let him show himself out.

Bonnie had plans to sleep in the guest room being her room no longer existed. She'd slept in there most nights when she was younger anyhow. She felt safer in that room. It was strange, sure, but no one denied her need for safety.

Slowly, she laid back on the bed without bothering with the covers. It wasn't all that cold. She was just exhausted in ways that weren't letting her fall asleep. So she just turned over and stared at the red digital numbers of the clock that seemed to laugh in her face. She tried again to close her eyes and this time it wasn't the lack of sleep that kept her from actual sleep, but a tap at the window.

"Damon?" she said as she sat up


	5. Coffee

There was another tap. Slowly, Bonnie slid from bed and made her way to the window. Why would she say Damon? She shook her head and pulled the curtain aside. She raised her eyebrows then cocked her head to the side. It was a sight she hadn't seen before. She opened her window and still didn't have many words that could explain it. They just stared at each other.

"How about that coffee?" Stefan asked breaking that silence with a small smile

"Now?" she asked

"I don't see why not." He said

Looking for something to tell her he was kidding, she found nothing. He was serious.

"Sure." She said before she knew it

In an instant he was on the ground with his arms out.

"Jump." He said

"What?" she half laughed

He wanted her to do something unsafe? Was this really Stefan?

"Jump." He chuckled "I'll catch you."

She wasn't doubtful that he wouldn't catch her.

"Ummmm…"

She looked over the edge at the ground. It made her no less uneasy. She stepped up on the ledge and closed her eyes. Counting to three she jumped. A set of arms were suddenly around and setting her to the ground.

"See? That wasn't so bad right?" Stefan said

"I don't know. I had my eyes closed."

He chuckled a little.

"Next time leave them open." He said

Bonnie just nodded and the two moved onto the sidewalk.

"So how early in the morning are you going?" he asked

"Early." She said

"That definitely says when I should get you home."

Bonnie looked at him aghast.

"Was that actually sarcasm?" she asked

Stefan bit his tongue and just nodded. Bonnie smiled if only trying to hold back a hysterical giggle.

"Sorry." He mumbled

Bonnie just shrugged.

"So you and Justin?" Stefan asked "I'm happy for you. It's good that you're able to move on."

"Me and Justin?" she asked confused

Bonnie's eyes when wide.

"Oh no! No." she laughed "It's not what you think. We met in New Orleans. It's not like that."

Stefan hadn't seen her laugh so much.

Both him and Mary thought that? That was too great. Though, it's not like she never considered it. The one thing that always stopped her was the fact that she wasn't entirely normal. She was a witch of sorts who's friend is a hunter/slayer with a twin brother who's a vampire and was dying to taste her, while her other friend is a vampire lost his brother because of her and yet she liked him and it wasn't he ordinary liking of someone either. He would've never known though. She would've been good girl who stepped out of the way so he could have what he wanted. What Damon had wanted couldn't have possibly been her. He'd protect her and be kind to her, but only because he viewed her as a child. She was no princess of darkness like Elena. She wish she could've measured up to it though.

"Trust me. If Justin knew those deep dark things about me, he would never come near me. The best I can do is be his friend. No need for a witch hunt." Bonnie said

"I doubt it would be a witch hunt. He'd probably be like any other person." Stefan said "He'd run away from screaming."

"Ouch." Bonnie said

When she pictured it though, it did make sense. Matt didn't do that though. Then again Matt encountered the whole Vampire thing before the witchy thing.

They walked into town and stopped at a table outside the local coffee shop. They sat there and talked. Stefan asked about Matt and Meredith and Bonnie only told him what she knew. It wasn't much, but he seemed to still be interested.

"So are you sticking around here?" she asked

"I don't know. Maybe." He said "I do like it here."

"Maybe that's because it's on ley lines." Bonnie said

Stefan smirked.

"Highly doubtful." He said

He saw Bonnie's distant look.

"You miss him?"

"Huh?" she said "Oh yeah." When she realized when he meant.

He was talking about Damon.

"You?"

"Sometimes. I mean, when I think about it all sometimes I don't. then I remember he was my brother and he wasn't all bad then yes."

"Half and half." Bonnie said

He nodded. Bonnie wouldn't say how it was that she missed him. It hurt too much to think about so there was no way she could possibly say it.

"Do…do you blame me?" she asked

"What?" he asked

"Do you blame me?"

"No, I don't. Why would I blame you?"

"If I hadn't-" Bonnie stopped mid sentence "I just wish that I could trade places with him."

"No." Stefan said

Bonnie looked up at him.

"Don't wish that. He did it to protect you. He cared about you."

"It was my fault Stefan." She said quietly

Shaking her head she stood and started walking away. Stefan followed then grabbed her by the arm and stopped her. She didn't turn around to face him. Actually, she was hoping he'd just let go, but he didn't. She looked up ahead the sidewalk. It was barren. They were all alone. They were always alone anyways.

"Elena blames me secretly." She said

"She doesn't."

"She does Stefan. She was in love with both of you. I knew it deep down and she convinced everyone otherwise. Now, she won't pick up my calls let alone acknowledge me. I've asked Matt and Meredith about how she is and they shrug the subject off." She said "She blames me and that's okay. It's okay. It is my fault."

Stefan moved to step in front of her where now she was crying. She wiped them away, but more tears came out.

"Bonnie…" Stefan said sorrowfully as he pulled her into a hug

"I'm sorry." She cried "If I had known."

"You didn't. You didn't know." He said

Her head was buried in his chest and Stefan ran a hand through her hair. She was a bit taller than he remembered. Things were a lot different from six months ago.

"I just keep thinking about it." she sniffled

"Me too." He said

He thought about after it though. The part where Elena had kissed him. Where she had asked him if he could feel it. She had gotten so angry and destroyed that whole place. It had been raining ash. It wasn't for him though, it was for Damon. If she had only said something then maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much that the one he was in love with and had gone through so much for was in love with his brother. He would've let her go. He would've done it and backed away no longer able to look at her. It wasn't the exact pain that Bonnie felt, but he knew the meaning.

She stayed there in his arms and clutched him in the embrace. She wasn't the only one who fell apart. She could feel what he felt and didn't even need to use any power not that she had used any since that day. She'd shoved away the gift. She didn't want it if it got people killed. Pulling away from Stefan, she wiped her eyes and started walking. She hoped he wouldn't look at her now reddened eyes and puffed up cheeks. She more than likely looked like a disaster. He walked beside her though. his eyes were on the sidewalk as they walked.

"So no coffee then?" she asked

He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"We can go back." He said

"Okay." She said

"I'm happy for you." He said

"Why?" she asked

"You seem to be fighting for that normal life." He said

"No, I'm not. If Meredith hadn't shoved me away I would've been more than happy to be bait for Christian. I wouldn't have minded." She said "I also shoved away my heritage which left yet another hole in me."

"It'll get better." He said

"Right." She said sarcastically

"Fine, it'll get worse." He said

"See, that sounds more like the brooding Stefan I know." Bonnie said

He smiled as they sat back down at the table they had left several minutes before.

"It's too bad you won't be around." He said "It won't be the same."

"You mean without my shrill screams and awkward trance moments?" she said "Pfft, you'll be fine."

The banter went on and on. They laughed some more and drifted into the past memories they liked if there were any. Soon the stars faded and slowly the sky became lighter and lighter. She wouldn't admit it, but she was glad. She was glad that she broke down in front of him and not someone else. Anyone else would've thought her to be a mad woman. With him, he understood. She was grateful.


	6. We?

Matt turned over and let out a deep breath. He'd gone to bed hours ago and had to be up early being he'd heard about Bonnie's classes and where she'd actually be. A loud knock at his door got him shooting upright.

"What the hell?" he grumbled

Getting up, he grabbed the shirt at the end of his bed and walked to the door. There was another knock at the door.

"I'm coming!" he called

Unlocking the door, he opened it. Stefan stood on the other side.

"You know Bonnie's leaving right?" he asked suddenly

Matt looked at him confused and rubbed his eyes. He wasn't entirely sure what to think.

"Stefan?" he asked

"Yeah." Stefan replied "You know right?"

Why did Stefan sound a little urgent about it? It was a bit strange really. Looking at him, he looked as if he'd been to hell and back.

"Yeah, I know she called me a little while ago also waking me up. What happened to you? You're back in town?" he asked

"Yeah, sorry." Stefan answered feeling slightly bad "I'll go."

"No, it's fine man. Come in." Matt said blinking rapidly and stepping aside "So you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Stefan replied as he walked inside the small apartment

"You're sure? You look rough." Matt said

"You don't need to be concerned." Stefan said

"Alright. So what are you doing here?" he asked

"Well, I wanted to try to get back to normal."

"Normal…" Matt trailed off

Then after a few seconds, Matt started laughing. He couldn't help it. The word itself was a complete joke and he'd found that out after Elena had sunk into his neck. Even before then, he knew something was off.

"You are not normal. Nothing about you is." He laughed

Stefan looked at him blankly then started laughing too. It wasn't the word he should've used. He just wanted to be somewhere he knew. Somewhere that felt like home.

"Okay, I deserved that." Stefan said

"Well, I just don't get it. You can go anywhere. So go anywhere." Matt said "That's what Bonnie's doing."

"We're not all Bonnie." Stefan said "We're not all that strong enough."

"Very true." Matt agreed as he sat down in a chair

Stefan took a seat in the one across from him. Thinking about Bonnie being stronger than him was hard. She'd always needed someone to take care of her whether it be Elena, Meredith, Matt or even…Damon. Now she was going. Meredith had gone and Elena well, the two of them parted on their own terms. How was it that everything fell apart because of him?

"If Damon knew the impact he'd left of this place…he'd be even more full of himself." Matt commented

Stefan smirked and nodded. It was true. Damon would smile that cocky grin like he owned the world. It was who he was. Stefan shook his head. Things were different now.

"I was planning on coming by to say goodbye to her later, but I guess I'm already up." Matt said

Stefan didn't hear him. Well, he did, but he didn't. That whole in one ear and out the other applied to him a lot lately. There were a lot of things on his mind. Other things he never asked about.

"She was okay right? Whenever we put her through what we did?" Stefan asked

"What?" matt asked then realized what he meant "I don't know. She doesn't talk about it ever. She never forgets though that she'll look young and beautiful in her coffin."

Stefan scoffed. She'd talked about that constantly the first day he'd entered Robert E Lee high school. She'd figured out her heritage.

"Yeah…" He trailed off

"She okay?" Matt asked

"She's broken up." Stefan answered

"She seemed fine when I talked to her last." Matt said sounding suddenly worried

"She's good at hiding things now." Stefan said

Matt nodded. If Bonnie knew they were talking about her, she'd probably be very confused. Confusion wasn't her middle name anymore. She'd grown up a lot. She'd even been willing to be bait, but Meredith tossed her out on that one. Matt was more surprised bonnie didn't go out on her own crusade to try and fix the world. Then again if she did, she'd probably get herself killed. On purpose? Matt kicked himself for the thought. She would never do that, not joyful, jumpy Bonnie. She wasn't as joyful or jumpy as she used to be either. Matt hadn't taken notice. He felt like an idiot for not even having thought about it.

"You'll check on her thought right?" Matt asked

"I had planned on it, especially with Justin."

"Justin?"

"An old friend from New Orleans apparently." Stefan shrugged

"Better be a friend." Matt growled

He couldn't really see Bonnie dating someone. She seemed like innocent pure one that would never do anything adulterous. Then he remembered Damon kissing her. Right, pure, innocent. She was the sweet one, but she wasn't a child, not anymore. Why was it so hard to come to terms with?

"He'll stay her friend and only that if he knows what's good for him."

"No." Matt said

"No?"

"Exactly. This isn't the girl who can't take care of herself anymore and she's a witch no less. If she wants someone in her life, we can't take that away. Like everyone else she needs to move on." Matt said

He didn't like saying it. He wanted her to stay like the girl he knew. Stefan was even more confused. He thought Matt of all people would back him up. So what gives?

"So we let go of her?"

"Well, no I don't mean th-" Matt paused "We?"

"I care about her too." Stefan said

"Huh."

"What?"

"It's strange is all. You usually cared about Elena or whatever concerned her. It's just…"Matt trailed off trying to find the word

"Strange, yeah got that part." Stefan cut in "I care about all of my friends."

He made a face and Matt just chuckled.

"I don't doubt it." Matt said

"But let her go?

"We aren't letting her go. It's just time her time."

"Like Meredith and Elena." Stefan murmured

"She's not letting us go anytime soon so, we don't need to let go. It's that thing where you'll always need that person." Matt continued

"Are we those persons?" Stefan asked

"I believe so or she wouldn't need to tell us things, things we don't even need to hear half the time." Matt said remembering when she was rambling after health class after 'the talk' no less

He never seemed to let her forget about it either. She always blushed and hid her face away and he'd laughed. It was always a good memory to look back on, but when he thought about it, it was hard to think of good memories to overcome the bad ones.

"If she knew we were talking about her," Matt looked at the clock on the microwave "At six in the morning no less, I think she might kill us."

"She could try." Stefan laughed

"Not all of us are immortal." Matt noted

"And you really think she could take you down?" Stefan asked

"She's a witch, druid or something like that. If she wanted to, I'm sure she could."

Stefan laughed. Matt had a point, but Stefan wondered if she even used her powers anymore. There were a lot of things he wondered.


	7. The Roommate?

Bonnie snuck inside and shut the front door quietly behind her.

"Morning." Justin said loudly from the kitchen

She flinched a little then let out a deep breath.

"Hey." She said as she walked into the kitchen

Mary wasn't up yet, but Justin was helping himself to a pot of coffee.

"Have a nice night?" he asked raising his eyebrows at her

"Yes and no." she answered after having to think about it

She took a seat beside him.

"Hey I gotta a question." He said

"Okay…" she said wondering if she should be worried

"You looking for a roommate?" he asked

She nearly dropped the coffee cup she had in her hand.

"What?"

Justin chuckled. He expected that reaction from her. It was always a great entertainment to get her surprised.

"What about going home?" she asked

"Eh, home can be anywhere you choose." He shrugged

"And you want to move in with me?" she asked flatly

"You make it sound horrible."

There were so many reasons that she should say no. He didn't know everything and if he did, he'd freak. Then again maybe he wouldn't. He seemed to be one of her closest friends and just maybe her best friend now. She couldn't be alone forever could she?

"Under one condition and if you can't handle any of it, I say no right now." Bonnie said in a serious tone

"Okay." He said looking at her weirdly "What is it?"

"Acceptance." She said

"Of…"

"My being a witch." She spit out

She said it so quickly that he had to think about it. Then he looked her up and down. The look on his face told her that he didn't believe her.

"You want proof?" she asked shakily

He didn't say anything. Bonnie set down her coffee cup then looked down at it and concentrated.

"Bonnie." He said

She dismissed him. The coffee started to whirlpool and then it started to rise like a small tornado. Justin stared and gulped unsure of what to do. The coffee fell perfectly back into the cup and the two of them sat in silence.

"What's the catch? I mean there had to be strings." He said

Bonnie just shook her head no.

"Don't screw with me." He said

"I'm not." She said quietly

She didn't look at him. She got the feeling he was looking at her like a freak. Then she felt a hand under her chin and lifted it.

"So you're a little gifted." He started

"A little? I'm a ticking bomb half the time." She spluttered

"It's okay. You're different, it gives me all the more reason to like you more." He said

"You don't think I'm a freak?" she asked

"Of course I do. I thought you were one when I first saw you." He chuckled

I smiled as I punched him in the arm.

"There's something else though." she said

"Oh boy." He said

"It's about Stefan." She said "Because if you know about me then you should know about him."

"What is he a warlock or something?"

"No. More like a vampire." She said

"What!" he exclaimed

Bonnie shrugged. He looked away from her and down at the counter.

"Like fangs?" he said

"Yeah."

"And blood?"

"uh-huh."

He nodded.

"Well, I'm glad he's your friend and not mine. But do know I am officially going to start packing." He said "Is that all?"

"For the moment? Yes." She replied

"Good." He breathed "So is it a yes?"

She looked at him confused for a moment then realized what he meant. He still wanted to move in.

"Only if you don't get all protective on me." She said

"Oh I'll be protecting myself, trust me. I have a feeling you know exactly how to take care of yourself and I'd always wait for you to ask first." He said as put a hand on his heart sincerely

Bonnie smiled.

"I'm guessing you're my new roommate." She said "So you also get half the rent."

"Joy." He smiled

He'd taken it interestingly well.

"You don't hate me?"

"No." he snorted "Jeez, Bonnie I can't hate you."

He grabbed a hold of her and hugged her tightly.

"Did I interrupt something?"

Both of them turned to see Stefan entering the kitchen. He crossed his arms over his chest. Bonnie could tell he was pulling off the intimidating look because, she was a little intimidated. Justin on the other hand cocked his head to the side and smirked.

"Wow, not what I expected." He commented

Stefan's eyes went pitch black then and his face hardened. Justin gulped and moved back a little.

"How bout now?" he asked

"Oh enough." Bonnie said sounding agitated

Both of them looked at her.

"I wouldn't mind a roommate and if he's to be my roommate then he needed to know everything." Bonnie said

"Everything?"Stefan inquired

What was up his ass? He seemed bent on being all pissy and if he didn't quit she was going to smack him. The look in his eyes was still dark.

"Even about Shinichi, Klaus, oh how about Damon."

Bonnie's eyes went wide right then and Stefan's eyes immediately went soft with regret. She shook her head at him. He bit his tongue and opened his mouth to say something, but just closed it and shook his head.

"He knows enough." She said "And he's okay with it."

Silence still remained in the room and it was heavy. There was something in stefan's eyes she had never seen before.

"I need this Stefan and you are not going to screw it up. He's the only one I got, my only best friend." She said quietly "If you don't like it, you don't have to be here."

With that she went upstairs to get a shower.

"Smooth move asshole." Justin said quietly

"I know and I'm sorry." Stefan said "I just don't want to see her get hurt. I've seen and felt enough pain for a millennium."

"You care about her." Justin said "And it's something deep."

"She's special."

"I know. I've seen it."

"Then you know there are things that would want to use her and harm her." Stefan said "You're right to want to be armed and should be."

Justin nodded. There was something more to this…vampire, how could he think that, than he thought. It was like he missed something with and was trying to make up for it as well as soothe her. Justin knew there were massive chunks missing out of the equation, but at the moment he was perfectly happy with what he knew. If he knew anything more he'd go nuts or something. He didn't want to know anything more.

"If you like her at all?" Justin started "Don't lead her on or I'll kill you."

The look in his eyes was dead serious. Sure, he loved the redhead, but if he couldn't have and someone else did, he'd be sure to land that person in their place. He didn't care who or what they were.


	8. In The City Shop

Leaving was the easy part. Bonnie was worried about the staying away part. Justin was still edgy. The drive was extremely long. Justin kept the conversation interesting.

"So have you ever cast a spell?" he asked

"Yes and the effects of it weren't pretty." She answered "Or at least that's what my friends told me. I don't remember."

He nodded as he kept his eyes on the wheel. He nudged her in the side.

"Any mind tricks?"

"Sometimes I do this weird trancing thing and I get this weird voice."

"Hm."

He'd ask more questions and she'd laugh and answer them. If he wanted to know something there was no reason for him not to, not anymore. She couldn't keep it all to herself anymore. Te only she didn't speak of was Damon. She could never talk about him without crying. She hated crying. It made her all puffy and red.

By the time they got there it was the next day and she'd slept through a majority of the car ride. Justin nudged her awake and she jumped. She yawned groggily and stretched. Getting out, she yawned again and looked around. The place was a pretty good size. It needed plenty of renovation, but it was worth it. What really caught her attention was the cemetery that was across the street. It was a nice city and it looked amazing. There was green everywhere.

Justin had already popped the trunk and started bringing stuff in.

"It's the fourth floor. Use the elevator." I called

Grabbing a box as well, I went in and stepped in the elevator as well.

"So, you're sure the place is big enough for the both of us?" he asked

The elevator opened up a few seconds later and Bonnie stepped out into the loft and dropped the box on the floor. She smiled and looked around the dusty place.

"I'm sure." She said

He looked around with his eyebrows raised.

"Wow, this is a fixer upper." He said

"I figured we could have fun with it." she said

"And fun we shall have." He smirked

They went back down and continued to unload. They just dropped the boxes on the floor.

"Found my room." she called through the echoey place.

She'd taken the room that had a sky light over head that made up the ceiling of the room and also had two large windows in one corner as well as a balcony. It was perfect. Justin said he'd take the space upstairs. It was just up a set of stairs and was above the kitchen. It wasn't exactly a room, but Justin would make it his own space. Granted this place was all on one floor, but it was pretty spacious. She knew she'd love it.

"You like it?" she asked as he came down the stairs

"Yeah, I do. I'm going to love restarting. It's going to be great." He said

"Restarting?"

"Well, I need it. I just want to do start over. Don't you?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?" she countered

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and both looked at the place. It was modern and completely to what they wanted.

"I'm thinking…green." He said

"Then the banister and rails for your 'room' have to be dark blue." Bonnie said

Justin thought about it.

"Switch them?" he offered

"Sure. We actually have to go get the paint though and I also need to replace some of the skylight windows in my room." She said

"Skylight?"

Before she said anything, he walked off and checked out her room. He came out with his jaw dropped and shook his head.

"C'mon," she laughed "We have stuff we need to get if we plan on living here."

"You do know we live next to a graveyard right?" he asked

"I know."

"And you're not creeped out?" he asked

"Should I be?" she asked

"Oh right, I forgot, you're a witch." He said rolling his eyes

She smirked. It was strange to feel accustomed to being near or in a graveyard. She felt comfort in it. They both got in the car and drove into the city. The place was busy and amazing. It wasn't a huge city, but it was a good size. You could get lost in it and the buildings nearly broke your neck when you looked up. They looked through a lot of the shops and they walked along the crowded sidewalks. She stopped in front of another store. There wasa neon hand on the front with the word 'psychic' underneath.

"Can we go in?"

Justin sighed unsure.

"Hey, witch here." She said

"Yeah, but you're the real deal." He whined

"I don't care. I'm going in. There could be useful stuff in there." She said

She walked in and after a few seconds he followed.

"This should be interesting." He muttered

He expected something…not normal to happen with all the energy in there.

Standing at the entrance, he saw Bonnie sitting down at a table with another woman. What was she doing? Justin walked over and heard the woman talking to Bonnie about reading one's palm. He just rolled his eyes. This was a bit much to take in.

The woman who looked like she could be a gypsy right out of a horror flick took Bonnie's hand. She laid it out flat and looked at it. it looked as if she actually saw something in it.

"You've led and interesting life child." The woman said "So much loss, yet you are not alone in your pain. Several are hurt due to your actions. You've lost someone, someone special."

Bonnie's face was grim.

"I see something though. It's dark and…just dark. It has dark eyes and…is hungry for life. It wants yours. It wants you in a way indescribable."

"Okay, crazy lady. That's enough. You need to leave my girl alone." Justin interjected

He grabbed a hold of Bonnie's wrist and pulled her from the table.

"You don't need to be telling her that her life sucks or is going to suck." He added

The woman nodded and looked at him now. She observed him.

"You are a strong one." She said "You will last. You will last longer than the others ever have. Your heart has a stronger will."

Justin stepped back and Bonnie was now holding his hand. She wasn't prepared to know anything like that. She didn't want to know that her life was about to once again be a living hell. She wanted to ignore it and be told lies.

"Lies do not help the heart child." The woman said

"I don't want that life anymore." I said "That's why I came here."

"He will find you anyways if he hasn't already and you will give in, but not because you have to. Because you'll want to. He will give you everything he has to give."

"But who?" bonnie asked

The woman didn't say anything more than that. Bonnie wanted to yell and scream now. There was only one name that would sound like this. If he came after her though, she'd stake him.

"I do not know names. I only see what I'm allowed." She snapped

Bonnie raised her eyebrows and looked at Justin who was looking at something on a shelf. It was a monkey paw or what looked like one. She looked around now. This place was certainly a place she'd never been.

"You did not find this place. It found you." The woman said before she went and sat down at the register and lit some incense. Bonnie knew what it was, it was sage. For a split second she wondered if it had any significance, but just dismissed it. She started wandering around. Justin had already left her side and was now looking at a jar full frog eyes. Then he moved on to other things. Bonnie laughed a little at his interest in it. He was a strange one, but it was something she could live with. She smirked and joined him in the browsing.


	9. Thinking Chinese

Bonnie looked at it one more time. She couldn't believe he bought the clunky thing. The large crystal ball sat there on the coffee table that sat between the tv and couch. He'd also gotten that paw thing he'd looked at before.

"Hey, I gotta go. Work." Justin said

He worked down at the bar, Over The Hill, that's what it was called. It was the place she'd seen several bikers hang loose at.

"Don't get killed or join any gangs." Bonnie joked

"I can't promise that." He joked back

He walked out and paused.

"Hey, there's someone here for you." He said

Bonnie looked up and saw Stefan standing at the door.

"Oh," she said "Come on in."

He nodded and stepped past Justin who looked at him narrowly. Stefan closed the door as Bonnie was making her way over towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"So this is the place?" he asked

"Yep." She said sound proud of it.

"Justin's room is up those stairs there," she pointed towards the now green "I'm crashing on the couch."

"So, he gets a room and you don't?" he asked

"Oh, I have a room. It's just…on hiatus." She said trying to find the right word

He chuckled then got distracted by the shotgun by the door. Bonnie noticed it as well.

"That would be Justin's paranoia actually. He's actually got wooden bullets in the thing too, so be careful." She said

"Being careful, noted." He said

Bonnie moved her blankets from the couch and sat down. Stefan sat next to her.

"So, what's wrong with your room exactly?" he asked

"It's missing a few windows at the moment." She said

He looked at her with furrowed brows. Then he got up and started walking towards her room. She got up and stood in front of him.

"Honestly, you don't want to see it. I've already gotten cut from taking it all down." She said showing him her arm.

He pushed her aside a little and smirked. Opening the door, he stopped in the doorway. There were a few new pieces up already, but several were missing. The pieces that needed to go up in the skylight sat against the wall.

"You know, I could get this done for you." He said "A lot sooner no less."

"Nope." She said popping the 'p' "I like taking my time. It's more fun that way."

She smiled about it. it was her accomplishment, her normalcy.

"Well then, how about you get it worked on." he said

Bonnie sighed. Walking inside, she looked up the ladder. Stefan chuckled.

"Just let me help." He said

"But it's cheating." She said

"I won't tell anyone." He said

"Fine." She pouted

Bonnie felt his hand under chin right and he tilted her head up so that she was looking at him.

"It'll be done quicker and you won't be sleeping on the couch much longer."

"Actually…"

Stefan tilted his head to the side confused.

"I still have to paint the walls." She said

"Well-"

"No." she interrupted "The painting will be done my way."

Were they seriously arguing about house renovation? It was her loft. Stefan shook his head.

"I'm just saying-"

"That we're done talking about this?" she cut in "Yes we are. I live here, not you."

Stefan chuckled unsure of what to even say now.

"Feisty today." he commented

"Maybe it's the couch." She laughed "Let's just get this done then."

Grabbing one of the new glass windows, she handed it to Stefan and he quickly put it in place. It was rather impressive to watch. In a matter of thirty minutes it was all done. Bonnie just put her hands on her hips and nodded.

"So what color are you painting this room anyway?" he asked brushing his hands off

"Oh I already got it actually." She said, beaming now. "It's a deep red, kind of like blood."

She paused after saying that and looked at him ready to apologize. He just laughed.

"It's a nice war color." He said

"Yeah," she breathed "It is."

For several moments, she stood there looking at the room. Then she sighed and just sat down. He sat down beside her. She leaned back against the wall.

"There was a reason I came here." He said

Bonnie just nodded.

"I'm sorry for what I said before you left." He said

She looked at him confused at first then realized what he meant. All in all thought, she'd completely forgotten.

"Don't worry about it. I forgot about it, literally." She said

"Oh." He said

He looked at her now as she was preoccupied with the skylight above. The twilight sky shined in and it made everything kind of glow. She seemed dazed about it.

"So you like it here?" he asked "Living across from a cemetery?"

"You saw that eh?" she said

"It was hard to miss."

"Yeah, I don't mind." She said "A new place, a new life, and even new friends. It's all new."

She thought it would be scary, but when she'd gotten started she liked it. It wasn't anything she thought it would be. It had that bite of excitement in it as well as a calm. It gave her sanity if that was at all possible.

"So…" Stefan said

Bonnie looked at him and noticed the distant look.

"Oh god no. I didn't mean that I didn't like having you around. You're a part of that whole new part thing I said. "Now I feel bad I'm sorry."

"I'm a part of the new thing?" he asked

"Well, yeah. You and I have never exactly hung out all that much. It's new to me and you even have me feeling like a retard when I speak. Then again, I think that always happens." She said

Stefan smirked. He thought it was funny how she always rambled on about it. He hadn't really taken much notice of it. He'd always been more focused on other things. In the back of his mind he wondered how Elena was.

"It does, but that's okay." He shrugged smiling "So, what do we do now?"

"I don't know." She said "You hungry?"

The instant she said it, she hit her forehead.

"Yes, I know how stupid that just sounded." She said

Stefan wrapped his arms around her in a hug and they both just laughed. He looked at her differently. She could see something she hadn't seen before or maybe she'd missed it before.

"I miss this." he said suddenly

"Miss what?"

"Not having to fight all the time." He said "Or feeling all that sorry for myself, that's a plus."

"Oh yes, a big plus. I mean you're actually smiling. It's a picture moment." She said "So…food?"

"Food." He agreed

He stood and took her with him making her squeal in laughter.

"I'm thinking Chinese." She said as they walked out the door


	10. Christian

The awkward feeling faded quickly and they were able to sink into to a good comfortable conversation.

"It's slimy." Stefan said flatly

"It'll slide down the throat easier." Bonnie said as she took another bite from the oriental box

"That's what he said." Stefan said

Bonnie choked on her food and nearly had it coming back up. She bent over and choked while laughing.

"That…is not funny." She said while still trying to breathe

"Then stop laughing." He chuckled

Bonnie hit him in the chest.

"I can't believe you said that." She said calming down

Stefan shrugged and gave her a wolfish grin. She just shook her head and nudged him. As they got back to the loft, Stefan froze. Bonnie looked back when she noticed he hadn't followed.

"You can come up." She said

"I don't know…" he said

"Fine, I'll have to watch Stephen King's IT all by myself."Bonnie said taunting him

He scowled at her knowing that she'd more than likely give herself nightmares and scream because of that movie. Even he didn't like clown all that much and Pennywise had razor sharp teeth on top of all his horrifying glory. He sighed and followed her into the elevator. She jumped up and down ecstatically. He just rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to stop her.

"You are so easy to please sometimes." He said

"Shhhh." She said putting a finger to her lips "Don't tell everyone. You'd be giving away my secret."

He scoffed and shook his head. As the elevator opened up, she walked out into the living room and flung off her shoes.

"Where's the roommate?" he asked

"Probably still working." She said

Bonnie flipped her hair up into a ponytail.

"Hey," she said grabbing Stefan's attention, which was wandering "Thanks. It was great to see you today."

He smiled at her in turn and sat down on the couch. If his gaze had lingered any longer he might have seen her blush a little. She put the movie in and sat down beside him. Subconsciously, she leaned her head down on his shoulder as she watched.

"Tell me, why did you want to watch a killer clown again? I thought you didn't like to be scared."

"Well, this thing isn't going to come after me. I haven't watched a scary movie in a long time let alone hung out with anyone. Even if it's scary, I don't mind watching it. Plus, Justin got this not me." She said

"Right, blame Justin, got it." Stefan said

"yup." She said

In the next second she jumped, screamed, and landed in Stefan's lap. After a few seconds she got up and shut it off.

"Okay, nevermind."

"It barely started." Stefan said flatly

Bonnie just shook her head and sat back down. She saw he was looking at the large crystal ball on the coffee table. As she looked at it, she thought she could see something gin it. Something that wasn't any reflection. She just dismissed it.

"It's just for looks you know." She said "I don't use it."

"Ah." He said

"We came across this magic shop and went inside. He decided that we just had to have it. He's really gotten into the whole me being a witch." She said

Stefan nodded deep in thought. Bonnie knew that look.

"Oh no. He is not evil or anything of the sort so, get that idea right out of your head." She said

"I didn't say anything!" he exclaimed

"But I know that look. You get it whenever you feel shifty about someone. I've seen it when Elena would get close to someone and you'd go all barbarian." She said

"Barbarian? What?"

"Yup."

Stefan just shook his head and propped his feet up on the coffee table like h owned the place. Bonnie now paced, but didn't take her eyes off of him.

"He is more afraid of you anyways."

Stefan smirked like he was proud of it. Bonnie just shook her head in confusion. He was a bit different than she thought and she didn't know why.

"Have you been drinking human blood?" she asked

"No!" he said completely shocked

"Well, I was just asking. You're really different from the last time I saw you." She said defensively

"So are you and you don't hear me complaining."

"You complain? HA! That was always Damon's…thing."

They were both silent for several moments. Bonnie sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry." She said "I wasn't trying to compare-"

"It's fine." He said

It sounded anything, but fine though.

"Life sucks." She said

"A bit." She agreed "I should go."

"Mhm. I'm tired and you're on my bed." She said

"Right. Goodnight Bonnie." He said

"Goodnight." She said as she just shifted and laid down.

"It's okay, you know." He said before walking out "I don't like admitting that I miss him too. There's no shame in it. I'll see you soon."

She nodded and closed her eyes. As she heard the door close she turned over. She started drifting in and out of sleep when there was a knock at the door.

"Ugh. Stefan, you didn't leave anything here." She groaned

She took her time getting up and just slid her feet toward the door. It was great that she had both a front door and an elevator. Opening the door she froze. She stumbled back a little.

"Bonnie!"

"No," she breathed "Christian."

"Did you think I could forget about you?" he said

His silver earrings that lined his ears glinted and he just grinned at her in all his black attired terrifying glory. Bonnie shook. Glancing sideways, she snatched up the shotgun and pointed it at him. Her hands shook slightly.

"Get out of here or I will shoot you." She said

"I'll just heal, you know that above anyone."

"Not with wooden bullets."

"You won't shoot." He said unconvinced

She cocked the gun and he just took a step back.

"Try me." She snapped

Then before the thought of shooting the gun crossed her mind, Christian flew backwards. Bonnie didn't see it until Stefan stopped in front of him. He grabbed Christian by the throat and held him up.

"Stay away from her or I'll kill you."

Christian only laughed at him.

"I can't stay away from a little thing like that. She's like siren calling me." He said "She wants me too or didn't she tell you about us."

Before Christian could say anything more, he was flung backwards.

"Enough!" Bonnie screamed nearly in tears

Her eyes were different. Really different. Stefan looked at Christian who just grinned then jumped for the nearest window. The hallway was quiet.

"Please don't leave me alone." Bonnie said ever so quietly

Stefan nodded not directly looking at her. As he came inside, he took the gun from her and put it back in its rightful place. Bonnie hadn't moved. He picked her up and sat down on the couch with her curled up with him. He'd talk to her in the morning. There was something missing from the whole Christian thing. That was for tomorrow though.

"That was scarier than the clown." She mumbled


	11. Mind Over Matter

She slept restlessly the rest of that night. She would wake up crying and Justin would jump up out of the chair nearby to soothe her. He'd returned quickly after Stefan had called him. Stefan had gone to pacing out in the hallway.

Bonnie woke up the next morning and put her hair up in a ponytail. She didn't bother to stretch and moved towards the kitchen. She needed coffee. Justin didn't budge. After her first cup she looked around the loft.

"A new day." She said

Setting the cup down, she made her way towards her room. She looked around it. The sun shined in brightly. She remembered where Justin had put the buckets of paint and headed towards the closet. This was as good as any other day to do it. It would keep her busy and busy is exactly what she needed. She wanted to forget about what happened last night. Even more, she was thinking about leaving. Christian knew where she was now and she knew he wouldn't give her peace.

Bonnie popped the top off the first bucket and poured it into a paint roller tray. Letting out a deep breath she started painting her walls. She was glad that she didn't have much wall space. She had three and a half walls. It wouldn't take so long.

"You want help?"

Bonnie turned and saw Justin in the doorway. Shrugging, she went back to painting. Justin grabbed a paint roller and started on the opposite wall. They worked in silence and slowly it was eating Justin's brain away.

"Okay, what exactly happened last night?" he asked

"Exactly?"

"Exactly." He said

"Someone I used to…" she had to pick her words carefully "know showed up. It wasn't exactly one of those happy moments."

"I noticed that with the broken window out in the hall where the vamp is pacing. Is he always like that?"

"Yeah." Bonnie answered

"Huh." He said

Bonnie nodded and dipped her brush back in the tray.

"Nice color." He commented after a few minutes

Bonnie smirked. Justin didn't miss it either. Turning, he made his way quietly across the room. He stuck the paint roller out so it was just a few inches away from her. Then he just rolled it down her back. Bonnie squealed loudly as Justin started laughing and choking simultaneously.

"I can't believe you!" she yelled

"Oh," he laughed "But it is. Your face is priceless."

Bonnie put her hands on her hips defiantly. Stefan bombarded in with a shocked look on his face.

"What happened?" he asked

He saw the paint covered bonnie who just turned on him.

"You might want to leave." She said

It wasn't a suggestion. The look in her eyes said she was more than pissed off. She turned back to Justin and looked down at the paintbrush in her hand.

"It's funny eh?"

Justin was trying to breathe only to laugh a little more. Bonnie's lips pursed in a smile and started walking in his direction. Reaching out, she slid the paintbrush across his chest. The smile on his face quickly faded and was replaced by a vicious look.

"I liked that shirt." He whined

Bonnie was the one who was starting to laugh now. Justin just shook his head.

"Oh it's on." he said darkly

Bonnie just stuck her tongue out and flung more paint at him. Reaching out, he rolled paint all over her front.

"Justin!" she screamed

Stefan heard it from the other side or the door and just scooted away from the door. He was not getting in the middle of that fight. About twenty minutes later though, both of them came out covered in red paint. Stefan bit his lip to hide his laughter.

"Well, tha was fun." Justin said looking down at himself

Bonnie saw Stefan just sitting there on the couch and smiled mischievously. He wanted to laugh and think it's funny? Well, she could make it even better.

"Hey, Stefan." She called "Come here, I want a hug."

He was on his feet in an instant and backing away. He put his hands out as she advanced on him with a wide grin. He nearly tripped over the coffee table in the process. Justin just laughed and headed towards the bathroom.

"No leaving red paint everywhere!" she yelled

"Yeah, yeah." Justin said back rolling his eyes

Bonnie still walked toward Stefan.

"What's so funny?" she asked

"Uh nothing." He said

"You had to be laughing for some reason." She said squinting at him

"Nope…it's just a good look for you." He said chuckling a little

"I'm glad you think so." She said still walking towards him

"Now, Bonnie think about what you're about to do."

"Oh, I'm thinking that it'll wipe that grin off your face." She said

He half laughed and side stepped her. As he went to move around the couch, Bonnie jumped up on the couch and over it tackling him.

"Gotcha." She said as she got up

She smiled feeling proud of herself.

"Catching a vampire." She trailed off "I think that's a first."

Stefan looked down at himself as he sat up. He now had red paint on himself. He just nodded with a stumped look.

"Well…" he said "That's a problem."

"Oh you got attacked by the witch too." Justin cut in "Vicious ain't she?"

There was plenty of sarcasm to go around in his comment. Bonnie rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You started it." she said pointing at Justin

"You started it." he mocked "What are we? Six?"

She glared at him.

"Uh oh." He said "Whatcha gonna do? Put a curse on me?"

"Nope." She said "It's just not worth it."

"Oh, don't break my heart now. I haven't even had the chance to win yours."

"HA! You should've thought about it before you painted me." She said

"But it was fun." He whined

Bonnie smiled and winked.

"I'm in need of a nice long shower. Then maybe I'll attempt to paint my room again. I'm hoping that I can sleep in it by the end of the week actually." She mumbled the last part to herself

Her mumblings kept going on as she walked past Justin. They both watched her go. Justin meant to because he loved watching her. Stefan couldn't help it, she was a mystery now days. He'd heard her wake p and go straight to working on her room. He knew why. He'd seen it before. To get away from a problem she'd work till her fingers bled. She didn't want to think about it.

"So how long have you known each other? You seem to be quite protective if you're still sticking around." Justin inquired

"A while." Stefan answered "I used to date her best friend."

"Oh? I'm guessing you're moving on to the next best thing." Justin said

"She isn't the next best thing. It isn't even like that!" Stefan exclaimed

"You're damn straight. She is it."

"It's not like that. We both…we both lost something important and then she went and got into trouble. I'm just…I just want to be sure that she'll be okay."

"She'll be fine. She's a witch and if that doesn't help then she has me. She doesn't need you reminding her of what a shitty life she had." Justin snapped "I've been decent with Bonnie around and I don't even care that you're all dead or whatever, but you need to back off and leave her alone now. Let her move on."

Stefan ignored the last part.

"She hasn't used her powers in a long time. Even if she could use them, you don't know what she's capable of. She could kill herself. And you?" he scoffed "These are vampires. They will snap your neck before you can get to that dumbass shotgun."

Justin let out a deep breath.

"I care about her safety. That's why I'm still here. I'll be here for a while so, get over it. It's not like I'm here to corrupt her." Stefan said

Justin just shook his head and stood.

"You already did." He said "Just…just don't make her your rebound or whatever. She's better than that."

Justin left shaking his head and mumbling. He didn't like him hanging around. He was a threat.


	12. Avoiddance

Bonnie came out of the shower drying her hair to notice that the loft that once held two men now held none. She shrugged. Maybe, she scared them off. Eh, it wasn't so bad. She could finish her room in peace and even get stuff moved into it later on in the night. She smirked at how long it was taking just to get into her room. It was the one part of the place that needed the repair. She tossed the towel aside and put her hair back up in a ponytail as she walked towards her room. Opening the door she froze and crossed her arms feeling suddenly annoyed. The room was finished. Her face crinkled angrily and she just huffed.

The whole room was painted. She didn't even get to finish and at any moment she could burst into a temper tantrum. Her fists clenched.

"Just breathe…" she gritted through her teeth

Couldn't she do anything on her own? She wanted to scream.

"Stefan!" she screamed

There was no answer.

"I can't believe you couldn't let me do this all on my own. I'm not forgiving you for this. You can't just do that. Some things need to be done by hand. What am I even going to do for the rest of the week!" she babbled

It went on and on and Stefan just stood there leaning against the wall listening. He never knew she had that much fire in her, but it sure was entertaining to listen to. He could only imagine the look on her face. After a few minutes, she just stopped. Bonnie walked out into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

Slyly he just slid in and sat beside her as she flipped through the channels on the tv. She didn't even notice him there. Or she did and was ignoring him. Stefan went with the second one.

"You're seriously mad." He said looking at her incredulously

"Well, yeah." She pouted

"And you're pouting." He trailed off

"Am not." She protested

Stefan chuckled and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Next time I'll listen okay?"

"Pfft." She rolled her eyes

She looked at him flatly.

"You listen? It's amazing." she said sarcastically

"Well, there was a reason for doing that." He said

"And that would be?"

"So, you couldn't avoid me when I ask about Christian." He said

Bonnie got up right then and started moving away.

"He's just…"

"Just what?" he asked

Bonnie looked at him.

"Not your concern. I'll call Meredith alright? That is if she's not already on her way." She said

"What happened while you were in New Orleans? If you there long enough to know Justin then there was something."

"Just stop Stefan." She said shocked that he kept pushing

He wasn't sure at first, but now he knew. There was something there and she wasn't talking. The look on her face was conflicted.

"It has nothing to do with you. Why don't you just go?" she said

He didn't move at first. Standing, he thought about walking over to her to console her, but just walked out instead. The door closed quietly. He heard her take a deep breath in an attempt to not cry. Her breath stuttered as she exhaled.

Not thinking about it anymore, Bonnie walked over to the corner where half of her stuff sat. She started hauling it all into her room. The only issue she had at the moment was the furniture missing. She shoved her boxes aside in the realization.

"Shopping it is."

Usually any girl would be excited about shopping, but when it was by yourself it wasn't all that great. Alone. She hated that word. Grabbing her jacket, Bonnie walked out the door and ran right into Justin.

"Whoa, slow down." He said stopping her

"Sorry." She said

"Going somewhere?" he asked

"Shopping actually." She said "You wouldn't want to go would you?"

"No way." He said shaking his head

"Oh it won't be that bad." She said "Don't be so dramatic."

She looped her arm through his and started for the stairs.

"Why don't we take the elevator? I mean it's in our loft." he said

"We're already in the hall heading for the stairs." She replied

"Ah." He said nodding

He sighed feeling like it was going to be a long day. To his own surprise though they looked through only one store. It was a huge furniture store and all of it was being delivered and setup as they left. Bonnie had picked out the things for her room and paid for it in her own money.

"Where'd you even get the money for this?" he asked as they left

"You. I did hustle you a lot. I just decided to invest it is all." She said with a small smile on her face.

"So, why did we really come out into the city?"

She looked at him like a retard.

"I would prefer not to sleep on the floor of my room." She snarked

He chuckled. It wasn't hard to see that something was wrong.

"So, where's your old friend?" he asked

"Probably back in Fell's Church." She replied "I shoved him out the door."

"Really? And I wasn't there to see it? Jeez, I really do miss out on all the fun." He said sounding all defeated

Bonnie nudged him.

"You don't miss much. I don't have that exciting life anymore."

"Do you miss it?"

"A little." She said "Not enough to go through it again though, that's for sure."

"Good, because I'd kick your butt if you dragged me into it."

"Oh highly doubtful!" she exclaimed

They both laughed as they turned the corner. Neither noticed the follower behind them. He watched her. She was exquisite. Even more, she was a witch. Not just any witch either, she came from a long line of witches, powerful ones. It was surprising that she'd stopped using her powers though. He'd been wondering why. She never used them against him either. It was strange. Something stopped her. That look on her face though…he couldn't decipher it. He didn't like her new choice of friends though. At least when she was with his sister, he could watch her. Now he could do so without his pain in the ass twin. He had a few days till she was on his tail so, things would be alright for now.

"I'll get you back." Christian murmured


	13. The Lonely Moon

By the time Justin and Bonnie got home her room was already put together. Well, the parts that needed putting together. The other part was still in a corner where she'd put it. Justin had left about fifteen minutes later for work. Bonnie just took her time while unpacking her boxes. In the midst of the last box, she paused. This had all her pictures and memories. It was easier to pack it than unpack it. Sighing, she just shoved it away. She didn't want to go through it, not yet.

Instead, she headed for the fridge where she had some chunky monkey waiting for her along with 'A Walk To Remember' ready to be watched. It happened to be one of her favorites. As soon as she sat down and took a spoonful of ice cream, there was a knock at the door.

"Maybe, if I just ignore it, it'll go away." She mumbled getting ready to hit the play button

There was another knock at the door. Setting down the half gallon of ice cream, she got up and trudged towards the door. She opened the door and crossed her arms.

"I didn't deliver anything." She said, a slight grin forming on her face

"Eh, I'm free." Matt said

"Do other girls know that?" Bonnie laughed as she moved aside to let him in

"Nope. That's what makes me special." He said

"Oh, you're special alright." Bonnie said averting her eyes away

"Hey!"

"I'm just being honest." She said

Walking in, he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. After letting go, he looked towards the entertainment center. He switched his weird dazed and confused look towards her.

"Who broke up with you?" he asked

"Huh?" she said scrunching her nose then her mouth formed the big 'O' "No. No not all."

"Okay…" he said still not completely believing

"It's just a movie." She said rolling her eyes and moving back towards the couch "You read way too much into things."

"You're right about that, but only because I care." He said putting a hand over his heart

"No crying this time." She said figuring that he was staying for a little while

He brushed it off acting like the big tough guy. Bonnie knew better, but it was okay. Better safe than sorry or so she thought to herself. They talked through the movie about the small stuff.

"Meredith called, you know." He said

"No, I didn't."

"She said to be on the lookout for Christian. It's kind of why I came up here. You said you had a run in with him and all." He said in a soft voice "You know I care and all that. I just don't history to do the whole repeat and all."

"It's okay. It's all okay."

Bonnie snuggled in closer to her friend. She hoped saying it would make the horrible feeling go away, but it didn't. It just lingered there in the pit of her stomach. It made her want to wretch. She watched the movie and cried like she always did at the end. It wasn't the same. This whole normal whatever.

Getting up, she turned off the tv and pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and laid it over Matt. She felt happy to know him still. There wasn't anybody else like him.

Walking into her room, she closed her door and walked out onto her balcony. She looked out on the cemetery. For some reason she liked that it looked over holy ground. It was all mystical and such. Even more, it was a full moon out tonight. It made some of the tombstones she could see glow. Bonnie looked up at the moon and had the sudden urge to just howl. The thought made her laugh in itself. Looking out though, she wondered if any of her old and new friends saw it like she did. Like a light meant to shine down and protect her from the dark.

"I doubt it." she said aloud

* * *

><p>He sat there on top of the mausoleum looking up at the plump full moon. He'd never seen it so close. It was something of its own amazement. In the distance, he heard a howl and smiled. Even something else called out to it. laying back on the stone roof, he tucked his arms under his head. He knew he'd have to stay. He couldn't leave her alone with that thing that calls itself a vampire running around. Sure, he wanted to tell himself that he didn't care why Christian was after her, but he did. He cared a lot more than he wanted to give himself credit for. He cared about her. She wanted so bad to take back everything including what she was. He remembered those days. Even if she didn't want him around though, he'd be there. He'd answer whatever call she had. She was all that was left for him to hang onto. Even Matt was barely there. Matt just wanted to forget about it all. He was human so, in time he would. He didn't see as much as he could have anyways and it would be so easy to compel him from it all.<p>

Stefan sighed as he heard yet another howl. He always wondered why there were multiple howls to the moon. Was she there to comfort the lonely ones? Maybe, help their soul?

Stefan sat up now.

"There's only on way to find out." He murmured

* * *

><p>Bonnie smiled to herself as her breathing was heavy from calling out to the night. She wondered if it could respond to her. But, before the thought was even complete another howl escaped out into the dark. A howl that wasn't her own. A smile graced her lips. Biting her lower lip, she then let out another howl in response. It felt so good to let out some form of a noise.<p>

* * *

><p>Stefan chuckled when he heard the reply. So that was why, he thought to himself. To find another as alone as you. The night was long and soon enough the moon hid herself away from him and he just laid back on the mausoleum. He didn't sleep. He watched as the sky got lighter and the stars faded. The morning sun came up and left him to face the day alone.<p>

Jumping down, he hit the grass with a steady balance. He wondered if only for a second how she was. He didn't wonder all the time. He never even called her. He knew if he did, he'd want to see her then touch her and the pain of that was too much for him. He wasn't so sure if he could bare it. He knew he couldn't. She had loved both of them, but like Katherine she tried to love both of them, but unlike her she chose far too late. Now, he felt angry.

He thought about trying to talk to her again, but he knew she could be stubborn if she wanted and sadly he was sure the stubbornness only grew from Damon. He'd wait a few days, but stick around. He could be invisible if he wanted. That was if he wanted and he wasn't so sure about it. He wanted to see her again. He liked seeing her. She could repel so easy, but cave even easier. Justin was right, she is beautiful. She is her own goddess. It was good to have a friend like her, but he wasn't so sure if she was really his friend. He hated admitting that she was blocked off and the heights of that only got higher. What could he do though? There was only one thing they seemed to have a connection over and it wasn't one of those happy things. It was painful, it was all painful. Her sacrifices were painful. He wished nothing more than to make it go away.

* * *

><p>Bonnie had fallen asleep on a layout chair out on the balcony. She hugged herself and shivered a little. Sighing, she turned over and nearly fell off the chair. Stopping herself, she sat p and rubbed her eyes. The sun was barely over the trees and bright orange. She moved for her room, but not without another look out onto the cemetery. The silk curtains that surrounded her bed were soft as she touched them. The whole room was beautiful and perfect. Like a fairytale if anything. The bed frame was mahogany along with the dresser and vanity table. Her wall divider stood by the closet and was of Japanese design. She couldn't remember why, but she had to have it. She smiled thinking about it then moved towards her closet. She pulled out a set of jeans and a black baby doll t-shirt with a red plaid button up long sleeve shirt completely bypass the sun dress. She didn't bother to button it up as she made her way over to the vanity table. She picked up the brush in an attempt to brush her hair then just set it down and put her messy hair up into a ponytail. She even contemplated putting on makeup for the heck of it. She used to do it all the time as it was. It was the energy she lacked. She looked at herself and just didn't want to. She didn't care what anyone else thought. Anyone who mattered was out of the picture.<p>

After a few seconds of sitting there despising the mirror, she heard some crackling and smelled something that was rather attracting her senses. She slipped from her room and saw Matt in the kitchen cooking.

"Justin is still sleeping, but I figured, I cold wake you up with an amazing breakfast." He said with his usual charming smile

"Thanks. That actually sounds and smells great." She said with actual enthusiasm

She sat in one of the barstools at the counter and watched.

"Interesting attire by the way." He commented

"Thanks, I thought it would impress people." She said smirking

He shook his head and handed her a plate full of food that consisted of anything you could think of for breakfast then joined her with his own plate.

"Sleep well?" she asked

"Yeah, the couch is well worn in." he said

Bonnie nearly sputtered food from the laughter that erupted from her. Of course it's worn in, she thought; I slept on it long enough.

Bonnie took care of the dishes afterward insisting that it was the least she could do after Matt had gotten her all bloated. The conversation was light and lacked the darkness she'd always ended up thinking about. Matt made things like that. It was a blessing.

* * *

><p>He'd fed and yet it still didn't seem to be enough. He couldn't explain why it had become stronger. It was just never ending anymore. Overall, he just stopped thinking about it. Other thoughts took over that hunger and shoved it aside anyways. Most the time he wandered around and just picked out conversations he was hearing. Who cheated on whom and who had an eating disorder. Humans were so easily influenced and it was rather sad. In the end he ended up in the same place he always did with nowhere else to be and because he needed to know. He couldn't protect her if he didn't. He'd weigh the pros and cons of compelling her and just leave the lobby of the building she lived in and leave her to herself. Then it would happen again. The fourth time he stood there in front of the elevator he actually pushed the button.<p>

"She's going to hate me." He mumbled to himself "And maybe thank me someday."

His silent argument with himself continued as he stepped into the elevator. The moment the doors closed he regretted it. She wasn't going to ever tell him anyways and he could always make her forget about ever telling him, but that would be worse.

The elevator doors opened and there she sat on her couch. She looked up at him blankly.

"Stefan, what are you doing here?" she asked

He was in front of her in an instant and she didn't have a chance to do anything. He'd grabbed a hold of her face in his hands and she looked so terrified.

"You have to tell me." He said "I can't protect you if you don't!"

"Stefan let her go."

Stefan looked up and saw Justin with the shotgun pointed down at him from his room. Matt had come from the bathroom and froze.

"Dude, just leave her be. She's been through enough." Matt said

Stefan looked back at her and she was nearly in tears. She knew what he was talking about. He could see it in her brown irises.

"Don't do this." she said

She knew what he was going to do and was now pleading with her hands now gripping his wrists.

"Please." She begged

"I'm sorry." He whispered

His eyes grabbed hers.

"Bonnie," he told her "I need you to tell me about Christian. I don't want you to leave out anything okay. I need you to be really honest can you do that?"

Bonnie's whole face was blank of any emotion and her eyes were stuck to his.

"Okay." She said


	14. What She Really Knew

**Flashback:**

"_Meredith, do you even know where we're going?" Bonnie asked_

"_Yeah, thanks to your vision." She said_

"_You don't even know what I meant." She tried to argue "I don't even know what I meant."_

"_Look, Bonnie if you don't want to do this then I can send you on a bus home." Meredith said concerned_

"_No, I can't let you do this alone." Bonnie said quietly "It'd be stupid of me."_

_The rest was silence in the car. They were in Louisiana while on Meredith's brother's trail. Meredith seemed to be fueled by this and Bonnie wondered if that's what took her mind off of everything that happened. All in all it was like nothing happened. Fell's church looked absolutely normal and Bonnie was more than happy to leave that place. It was horrible and she hated it. She hated looking at her friends faces whenever they looked at her. She knew they blamed her, if not out loud than secretly. She even blamed herself. She missed him so much and her whole heart had obliterated from it. Elena always glared at her and Stefan was never around. It's what made Meredith great at that point. She was neutral and didn't show any emotion._

_If she hadn't heard about Meredith leaving to go out on her hunt for her brother she would've done things she would've regretted. Terrible things, things she thought she could never do in a thousand years._

_Meredith pulled into a motel and got them a room to sleep in for the night. They both shared the bed, but Bonnie didn't sleep. Slowly, Bonnie slipped from bed and padded quietly out the door. After closing it, she slid down against it and just started crying. She cried every night. Nobody ever heard her. She didn't want them to._

"_Are you okay?" a light male voice asked_

"_Go away!" Bonnie exclaimed wiping her eyes_

_She was sure that she was all blotchy and red now. _

"_I'll take that as a no." he said_

_Bonnie looked up and gasped. She scrambled to her feet and as she did she started to fall backwards, but was quickly caught. She didn't look away from him, from Christian. His eyes were so beautiful and she was starting to forget why she was crying. _

_Pushing him away, she fell to the ground. _

"_Don't try to compel me. I will kick your ass." She threatened_

_The only problem with the threat is that it wasn't so threatening. Christian actually laughed at her._

"_Don't laugh at me." She hissed_

"_Are you hungry?" he asked_

"_What? Is that some sort of pick up line?" she asked defensively_

"_No, you look like you haven't eaten in days." He said_

"_Aren't you supposed ot try and kill me?"_

"_Okay, nevermind. You seem to have your own dysfunctional issues." _

_He started walking away._

"_Yes!" Bonnie blurted out_

_Christian turned and gestured her to follow. Bonnie looked back at the door of where her and Meredith were supposed to stay. Then she turned and followed. She didn't know why she did, okay that was a lie, she knew why. He waited for her briefly so that he could walk with her. She was so numb that she didn't care that he could kill her. She even thought about asking him to. She wouldn't have to deal with the pain that's for sure. She kept her quiet though. She even kept her silence while she was sitting across from him in eating. _

"_So how's my sister holding up? She gone mad yet?"_

_Bonnie said nothing. There was nothing for her to say. Well, she could tell Meredith about this, but Meredith would only send her home. She took glances every once in a while though. She liked looking at him. Even the waitress up at the counter liked looking at him and was giving an ugly look. _

"_I have to go." Bonnie said quietly as she shoved her plate away_

_The leather squeaked as she moved from the booth. She pulled out several bills and just put them on the table and walked out. As she did, she flipped the waitress off. Bonnie started across the street as she heard Christian calling after her. Instead of just of continuing on she stopped. _

"_Why don't you just kill me already? That's what you want right?" Bonnie asked "To send a message to Meredith by killing her best friend. Go away."_

"_What is wrong with you?" he asked_

"_What isn't wrong with me?" she countered in a quiet mutter _

_He was quiet now, but didn't move. They stood there in the middle of the desolate road in a staring contest. Then in an instant Bonnie reached up and kissed him. She retracted quickly and paused. Then in an instant he grabbed her by the throat and squeezed. her face was still blank, not blank, but sad._

"_Do it." she choked _

"_Why did you do that?" he snapped viciously_

"_I just wanted to feel something." She breathed_

_Letting go, Bonnie hit the asphalt and he was gone. She didn't get it. He just let go._

**Flashback 2:**

"_Bonnie stop picking at your food." Meredith said_

_They were in Mississippi now, Jackson to be specific. Bonnie hadn't eaten in a day and a half. She just wasn't hungry. Looking out the window though, she gulped. She saw him and even though she blinked multiple times he was still across the street leaning against a telephone pole. He wasn't smiling or even frowning. He was just staring._

"_I'm not even hungry." Bonnie said "I'm going to go look around."_

"_Bonnie-" Meredith started_

"_No." She cut in "If you want my help you're going to let me go. I can take care of myself. I'll be back with info or something."_

_Meredith sighed._

"_Alright." She said "I'm just worried for you."_

"_Don't be."_

"_Damon tore you up Bon. It's like you're dead."_

"_Eh, no biggie." Bonnie shrugged "I'll be back later."_

_Meredith's words ran through her mind. Bonnie kept going though. Walking out she jogged across the street. He wasn't there anymore. She sighed and started walking down the sidewalk. She just kept walking without paying any attention. When she did take notice she noticed that she was in an alley. Hearing cat whistles behind her, she slowed down. She heard their comments and didn't care. Then she heard groaning and stuttering breathing. She turned and saw that the ones that were following her were now lying on the ground with someone looking at her confused._

"_Are you trying to kill yourself?"_

"_I don't know." She said blankly_

_Christian stared at her curiously. Then stepping closer to her, he was now only a few inches from her. He reached out and caressed her cheek. A tear fell from her eyes and he just wiped it from her eyes then, he grabbed a handful of hair and brought her lips to his. He pulled away after a few seconds. Her eyes were still open._

"_I just wanted to feel something." He said_

_Bonnie didn't hesitate to kiss him again. It made her disgusted that she would think of Damon while kissing him, but she did and she cried. Christian didn't care. He liked this. He had this emotional wreck at his fingertips and would enjoy it. He could use it against his sister which was great. His tongue darted into her mouth and she gasped at the new feeling and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. His hands rested on her hips and this time she closed her eyes, the tears falling._

**Flashback 3:**

_It was a different location, it was always different. It was New Orleans now. Bonnie was still running off to do her own investigating and told Meredith it was better if they split up. And Christian would follow her as she lost herself in the large crowd until he stopped her and spun her to face him. She kissed him first. She needed it. it was her own personal addiction now. She hadn't even told Meredith that he was following them instead of the other way around. She couldn't. She just needed this. She had to have it. she didn't care if he cared about her and truth be told he didn't. He didn't care. He cared about how useful this witch was to stop an itch he had._

_It had gone farther though it always went farther and bonnie was being reckless this time. Her hand had found his and had taken a hold. However, it wasn't her fingers that intertwined though. It was his and it sent shiver all over._

"_Let's get out of here." He said_

_Bonnie didn't have a chance to agree. He had a hold on her waist in such a way that made her ache. He knew how to say things even though she never believed them. She just got lost in that touch of his, that kiss of his. It had her hungry for a feeling she couldn't grasp. She didn't care anymore._

"_Let me take care of you." He said in her ear_

_It wasn't a question._

**Flashback 4:**

_They were still in New Orleans. Meredith was convinced that he was here and had decided to stick around. Bonnie had met someone, his name was Justin. For the first time in a long time, Bonnie had smiled. He made her smile. It wasn't forced. He'd tried to pick her up and she'd burst out giggling. She coldn't imagine why someone would try to pick her up. She was a mess._

"_I'm a mess and you want to pick me up." She said still laughing_

"_Would it be too forward to say that you're a hot mess?" he said_

_She laughed even more to the point that she nearly fell over._

"_No." she said "It's not going to work."_

_She'd said no and she could've said yes. She could've said it easily and she didn't._

"_How about you come keep me company and play a little pool." He offered "It'd keep the other banshees away and every guy would be jealous that you're at least standing by me."_

"_Okay." She said_

_He offered her a hand and she took it._

"_I'm Justin." He said with a charming smile_

"_Bonnie."_

_That night she'd nearly gotten mugged, but was lucky that Justin had stepped in. he walked her back to her hotel room. She didn't see Christian that night. He saw her though. He saw he everything clearly and had every thought of slaughtering that idiot for trying to pick her up._

_The next night he had corned Bonnie when she was alone. She was actually frightened of him. It was a surprise because he'd never seen any emotion like this out of her. He gripped her tight by the shoulders and growled. _

"_You won't see him again." He ordered_

"_You don't have a say in this." she objected_

_He shook her once then kissed her. It was rough and something she hadn't felt; jealousy. Christian was having trouble not feeling for her. He found something in her each time they rendezvoused. He didn't want this. He didn't want to feel this for her, but he did. He grabbed her around the waist and in a speed unknown to Bonnie they were in a room. He let her go and had his hands on her hips. _

"_I have a say in who touches you." He growled_

"_You do not own me." She snapped _

_She walked away from and headed for the door. He was there before her._

"_You are mine." He said_

**Flashback 5:**

_Bonnie moaned in utter pleasure as her nails scratched down his back. She felt his lips capture hers and without any hesitation his tongue plunged into her mouth. She gasped and wrapped her legs around his waist. _

"_Say it." he whispered in her ear _

_Bonnie's breath stuttered as he thirsted against her more._

"_Say it." he growled_

"_I'm yours." She breathed_

_His lips grabbed hers once more only rougher. She'd never imagined it being something like this. It was wild and rough and it hurt. It was making her feel things and forget things. Her back arched against him and she felt his arm wrap around her waist and hold her there. His lips trailed down her jaw to her collar bone. She was nearly crying now as he kept going. Her core was aching and she only clutched him more. She screamed when she felt his fangs crunch into her neck. The blood came out quickly and started to trail down along her ivory skin. Everything was enhanced by ten. _

"_I love you." He whispered in her ear_

_Her eyes closed as she laid back having succumbed to this. It was agony mixed in with bliss. Within all of it, she felt guilty. It was wrong and she didn't care. _

_She was breathing heavily now and Christian was laying beside her. He didn't leave her. In fact, they'd both fallen asleep. _

**Flashback 6:**

_She'd left that morning and couldn't have moved fast enough. She was glad he couldn't walk around in the sun. She got to the closest bathroom before heading back to her hotel room. Her neck was bruised from what he did, but she just covered it with her hair. She fluffed it around her shoulders and smiled. It was fake. She didn't want to deny that there was nothing there with him because there was something. It was Meredith, she was thinking about her now. If she saw this, she would never forgive her. He said it though. He said 'I love you'. She didn't know if he meant it. He was a bloodsucker. _

_Walking out of the bathroom, she made her way from the building without looking directly at anyone. She walked along the sidewalk towards her hotel only to run directly into someone._

"_Whoa!" he said_

"_Sorry." Bonnie mumbled_

"_Wait, Bonnie?" _

_She looked up and was surprised to see Justin._

"_It is you. I didn't think you were still here."_

_She just nodded._

"_You hungry? Of course you're hungry." He answered for her "Let's get breakfast."_

"_What? No I couldn't." she started_

"_Yes, you can and will. I could use the company."_

"_Oh." Was all she could manage as Justin wrapped an arm around her shoulders _

_He smiled at the wreck she was and embraced it. She'd only met him a week ago and yet he seemed attached to her. He liked her. He wanted to be around her. She didn't understand it. Then again he didn't know anything about her. He didn't know she was a witch on a vampire hunt with a person she no longer recognized. He didn't know that the vampire they were hunting happened to be that person's twin or that Bonnie herself was sleeping with him because she thought it made her feel better. It did too. It made her feel wanted, but guilty. He didn't know anything and he wouldn't ever know._

_She just smiled though at his invitation and had breakfast with him. She was surprised as to how hungry she really was. When she'd gotten back to the room, Meredith was on her feet and hugging Bonnie. Bonnie hugged her back briefly._

"_Sorry." Bonnie said_

"_I'm just glad you're alive." She said breathing a sigh of relief_

"_Of course I'm alive."_

**Flashback 7:**

_Bonnie had stopped seeing Christian or at least tried. She didn't know how to address this. She cared. She cared about him a lot, but didn't even know how to handle it being she was in love with someone else. That someone else was dead though. Why couldn't she let go? She wanted to, but she felt like it was bad to let go and he'd hate her for it. She didn't want Damon to hate her. _

_Christian caressed her cheek and she shuddered. _

"_It's okay." He told her with a smile_

_He leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't as strong and she knew it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't cross that final line. She just couldn't. She pushed him away and shook her head._

"_It's over." She said_

_She didn't know her voice could be as strong as it was. Something gave power to it. Christian just smirked and stepped closer. She put her arm out and stopped him._

"_No," she said "I won't do this anymore."_

"_Damn straight."_

_Both heads shot in the direction of the cold voice. Meredith stood there at the end of the alley looking at them._

"_Get the hell away from her." Meredith spat_

_Bonnie ran off in her direction before Christian could grab her. She faded from his grasp that quick. _

"_Are you okay?" she asked Bonnie_

_Bonnie nodded. Meredith wouldn't look directly at her. _

"_Remember your words Bonnie." He told her_

"_I-I didn't mean them." Bonnie said barely above a whisper_

_Christian stood there a moment longer then was gone before any blood had to be spilt. Meredith grabbed a hold of Bonnie's hand in that instant and started running._

"_We have to get you out of here. I don't want to know what happened between you two that, you have bite marks on your neck from him. I just want you out of here. You've done enough and I don't need a dead body on my hands." Meredith said_

_Dead body; that was what Bonnie was to her. It stung, but it was well deserved for what she did. It was betrayal doing what she did. _

_Meredith shoved her on a bus an hour later. She didn't say goodbye. She didn't even look at her. Bonnie tried to apologize , but the words just couldn't come out. Bonnie took the seat in the back and leaned her head on the window. Tears flooded her eyes and she was back at where she started if not worse. She lost something and yet couldn't even translate what she lost. _

Stefan flung back and nearly tripped over the coffee table. Bonnie was crying terribly and covered her face with her hands. The whole room was silent and there was barely any breathing. Stefan just took a step back shaking his head. He didn't know this girl. Turning, he walked out without so much as a word. After taking a few steps out of the apartment, he turned and punched the wall leaving a gaping hole. Bonnie jumped from hearing it.

Who was she? Part of him wanted to go back in and scream and shake her and another part wanted to blame himself for not keeping her in Fell's Church. He didn't blame himself. He blamed her. She was the one to go and play with the vampires. She got what she deserved. He didn't believe the thoughts one bit, but they sat there. One thing was for sure though, he couldn't ever look at her the same. He wasn't if he could ever look at her.


	15. Don't Know The Numbness

Bonnie had been held up in her room for days. Justin tried to get her to come out, but she refused. She could only think about the look on Stefan's face. Matt had left, but not without trying to say goodbye.

"Bonnie you have to come out." Justin said

There was no answer. For a moment he wondered if she was even in there.

"Look, I have work. I have to go." He said

Turning, he grabbed his jacket and pushed the elevator button. The doors opened and he hesitated. He contemplated staying. Shaking his head, he stepped into the elevator.

Getting to work, he stepped behind the bar.

"Look who it is." A rough voiced man said "It's Justin…"

Justin ignored him and kept on with his work which consisted serving a cold one to the one at the end of the bar. The place smelled how it always did, like drunks who didn't have a life with a hint of vomit. He pushed right on through it though.

"I'm talking to you boy." The biker said

"And I have my own shit to deal with at the present time!" Justin snapped as he slammed his fist down on the bar

"Sorry man." He said

Justin just shook his head and served him a beer.

"On the house." He said "Off my being an ass."

"It's a girl right?"

"Yeah."

"It'll be okay. If she loves you enough then it'll be okay."

"It's not me she loves. She's just hurt and I don't think it's fixable." Justin said

"Everything is fixable. Some thing's take more time to fix or time to just heal."

Justin looked at the biker surprised. The guy was actually decent and was giving advice.

"You gotta be patient." He continued

"Thanks." Justin said

"That GIRL is seriously screwed up."

Justin turned his head abruptly to see Stefan sitting not far. The biker took a drink from his beer and walked off.

"You don't even know her." Justin said

"I know her better than you."

"No, you don't. You have no idea. You don't understand her grieving."

"He never loved her!" Stefan said

Justin knew who he meant by 'he'. He meant Damon.

"How do you know? Were you there every second? You don't know anything." Justin said keeping his calm

"And you do?" he said

"She talks to me so, yes."

The look in Stefan's eyes grew even angrier. Everyone knew her except him. He only knew the part that made him sick.

"You're a hypocrite by the way. Being mad at her for being with a vampire." Justin continued

"A hypocrite? How the hell am I that?" Stefan growled

"You were with…Eliza or whatever her name was and as far as I'm concerned she's still human right?"

Stefan didn't say anything.

"I didn't screw around with the enemy." He countered

Justin just shook his head.

"You really are stupid. She needed somebody and she had no one. Yes, sure, I was angry too at first finding all that out, but…it's oh well, it's done and over." Justin said

"You're new to this whole thing and that's-"

"Enough." Justin interrupted "I'm done arguing. I need to get my shift done so I can get back to her and hope she hasn't committed suicide."

Justin walked away at that. Stefan scoffed at the thought of her committing suicide. She wouldn't dare. She'd do a lot of things, but not that. A flood of regret came over him and all of the anger was gone. He didn't know what to do anymore. He'd destroyed her. He could apologize, but that wouldn't do much. Getting up, he walked out of the bar with a slight buzz and headed in the direction of the lofts. Feeling the sudden wave of guilt, he knew he couldn't be angry with her.

Bonnie on the other hand was crying on the floor of her bedroom floor.

"Bonnie."

It was a whisper. She didn't move though. She felt hands on her shoulders now. They were cold. They pulled her up and she was held close to him.

"They don't understand. I do though. I understand."

"No, Christian." She breathe

She wanted to fight him, but just didn't have the strength to. Her body felt so heavy. She just sagged there as he held her.

"It's okay. I'll make it all better." He said

She hiccupped a little and sniffled. It sounded nice. Things being better sounded really nice. How could things be better though?

"Bonnie!" a muffled slur came from outside her room

Bonnie felt a hand on her cheek. She looked at him and saw his fangs. They were the first things she saw.

"It'll be okay. You'll be reborn and then no one can hurt you." He said

She wasn't even scared. She was so numb that she didn't know. This all started with Stefan. Ever since she'd seen him again, he'd brought back all the hurt. The door opened and Stefan stood in the doorway.

"Get your hands off of her now!" he yelled

"You've done enough Stefan. Let me take care of her. You are only a reminder of what's happened." Christian said

Stefan moved quick and shoved him away from her. Christian just laughed at him.

"You think she really wants this? She wants nothing more than to die and I can give her that." He said

"Stay away or I'll kill you." Stefan said

"Threats. All you are are threats." Christian said

Stefan's eye went cold hard dark as night and he shoved him out towards the balcony.

"How's this for a threat?" he hissed and threw him over the balcony

Christian somehow landed on his feet. Christian just looked p and smirked than ran off towards the graveyard. Stefan turned and saw that she was still lying there on the floor. He moved over to her. Picking her up, he laid her down in her bed.

"Just go away!" she cried

"I can't Bonnie. I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"You're sorry." She snorted "You shouldn't be. You're too good to be sorry. It's my fault. I just wanted-"

"He's not him." Stefan said "Nothing will ever replace that."

Bonnie cried even harder. Stefan sat by her and encircled her in his arms.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled

He didn't let go of her. She fought him and eventually just caved. She wanted this rotten feeling to go away. He was still here and she didn't know why? She'd shoved him away just as she had Meredith.

"I've driven everyone away…it's all my fault." She cried into his chest

He laid there with her and held her as she cried. She clutched him for dear life. She had no one else. She wasn't even sure Matt would want to see her now.

"You have me. I'm not going anywhere." He told her

Leaning a little, he kissed the side of her head. She was so alone. Bonnie closed her eyes and sniffled. Her crying died and soon enough they'd both fallen asleep. She hadn't let go of him and her only held her more closely as if to protect her from the dark. Bonnie had too many demons too fight and he wasn't sure he could help. The only thing he could do was dispose of Christian who'd attempted to bite into her.

He awoke early; around five thirty. She still slept; her eyes puffy with dark circles. He brushed her hair from her face.

"I'm so stupid to be angry…that or jealous." He mumbled


	16. Bodyguard

She'd woken up hours later. Her room was still a bit dark due to the gray clouds overhead. She sighed and sat up. She ruffled her hair and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She wasn't sure what she'd do with herself.

"Get up."

The voice was clear in her mind as if she actually heard it.

"Yes, you heard me. Get up."

"I don't want to."

"I don't care. You're being a baby."

"Am not!" she protested

"Then stop the sulking."

"I'm not sulking…not really."

Bonnie turned towards the voice. Stefan stood in her doorway.

"So you screwed up. It happens to the best of us."

"I didn't screw up." She said "I 'screwed' up."

He laughed at her emphasis. Walking in, he sat down beside her. She shifted a little feeling awkward then just stood up and walked out of the room to onto the balcony. She didn't want to be so close to him. The last time she was, he compelled her. It wasn't that she didn't trust him because, well, she didn't trust him so much anymore. He intruded on her mind. That was personal stuff. There were quiet footsteps behind her. They stopped a few feet from her.

"Bonnie, I'm sorry."

"Saying sorry doesn't fix everything. It doesn't fix the fact that you slithered through my mind like a snake." She said

She looked down at the traffic or rather the lack of traffic below. There was no wind. There wasn't even a sound for her to hear.

"What will?" he asked "It's not exactly like you can push me away."

"I did it so easily with others." Bonnie said pointedly

"Well…" he said in that voice that told her there was more to something that she seemed to be missing "Matt is actually out looking for Meredith. He's not liking the situation and you can't hang around guys for the rest of your life."

Bonnie shrugged. There's no reason that Meredith should come to Bonnie's rescue, not that she really needed it. She could take care of herself…for the most part.

"Bonnie…"

Enough with the Bonnie." She huffed as she walked past him to go back inside.

She started shuffling through her clothes and pulled out a pair of black jeans with an orange shirt that had black mixed with yellow on it. It was colorful enough for her. Moving behind the wall divider, she took off her shirt and tossed it to the floor. Stefan turned his head immediately even though he'd see nothing. Bonnie smirked at how sudden he'd turned gentleman. Was it some on/off switch he had? If so, she wanted to know how it worked. One minute he was great to be around and the next he was an ass with intrusion issues. She finished getting dressed and moved to walk out of her room. He didn't want her to hide up in her room? Well, she didn't exactly want to be around him as much as she used to. Last night was a horrible break down…the last few days were just horrible.

"Wait," he said "Take a shortcut?" he offered

"What?" she said confused

Without another word, Stefan grabbed a hold of her around the waist and picked her up in both arms. This would be very interesting, he thought to himself.

"Put me down." Bonnie ordered

She actually sounded a little mad, but she wasn't fighting. It surprised Stefan that she wasn't. She just sat there in his arms with her own arms crossed over her chest.

"Put me down…please." She gritted out

He didn't listen. In seconds he was out her window and off the balcony. Now he was falling and Bonnie screamed as she left his arms. His feet hit the ground in milliseconds and Bonnie fell into his arms quickly after. She was white as a ghost now and he just chuckled. He set her down on her feet.

"There, I put you down." He said

Bonnie held her stomach for a moment. Her beat was rapid like thumper's feet. She wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to vomit though. It was still being debated. She looked at Stefan.

"You never like doing things the easy way do you?" she asked

"Where's the fun in that?" he smirked

"I don't know." She said quickly

She wasn't even sure if that was her answer though. she said 'I don't know' a lot.

"C'mon." he said as he took her hand

She had no idea what he wanted now.

"Why? I'm trying to get away from you."

"Because I'm kidnapping you and I can't do that if you aren't here with me."

Bonnie huffed and stomped her foot. Stefan just watched as she threw a temper tantrum.

"No! Arrrrgg! Just-ugh." She yelled

She couldn't come up with the words for this. He was acting like it didn't happen. It was stupid and ridiculous. He was being…Stefan. Couldn't he be normal? No! that was too hard! Of all time and places he wanted to embrace all that he was. It was infuriating.

"You done?" he asked trying to laugh

Bonnie took a long deep breath and exhaled as she smoothed herself out.

"Yes. Now if you don't mind I need to go somewhere." She said

Turning, she went to walk off, but Stefan grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. He pulled enough that she slammed right into his chest. A silent 'oof' came from her.

"You're right; you do have to be somewhere. You gotta be with me." He said

Oh c'mon, she mind groaned. She glared at him now. It was nice of him to apologize even though it didn't fix anything, but she didn't need or want a tail. Then she came to a big realization that sent more than just a light bulb lighting p in her head.

"You are trying to be my bodyguard." She hissed at him

"That is such a technical term." He said contemplating it "I'm more like a…protective friend."

She shook her head at him. He just held her there. Their close proximity was starting to make Bonnie nervous. She wanted to pull away, but didn't. She didn't know what to do. She was actually frozen. Her eyes met his. They were so green. She was going to say something…wasn't she? She was going to snap at him.

"I'll-be fine on my own." She said

She got out of his grip and started walking down the sidewalk.

"You are totally right. You'll be perfectly alright…with me around."

Damn him.

**I know it's a bit short, but I hope you liked it. if you did or didn't just leave a review. Up to you.**


	17. Amazingly Suck Sport

He wanted to tag a long so she did the only things she could do. It drove any guy nuts and it didn't matter what age you came from. Bonnie went shopping. She did a lot of that lately and this time she actually enjoyed it. She could see the pained look on his face. Bonnie and him were now in a shoe shop and she had picked out two pairs of shoes. Both of them could hear girls around them whispering. Bonnie knew who they were talking about and smirked. She just walked up to the counter ready to purchase her items. Stefan walked outside saying he'd wait for her there.

"Is that your boyfriend?" a girl who was waiting behind Bonnie asked

Bonnie looked at Stefan and snorted.

"No, I'm not his type." She answered

"What's his type?" the girl asked with a bright eyed smiled

"Well, he's my GBF."

The girl's face fell quickly like she couldn't believe it.

"All the amazing ones are gay." She said blankly

"I know." Bonnie said sympathizing with her while trying not to laugh

She knew Stefan was hearing it. That's what made it even better because he turned around immediately and glared at her. After leaving the store, Stefan grabbed her by the arm roughly.

"You are seriously being a b-" he stopped himself

"That's what you get for wanting to crawl up my butt so far that I can't even sit." She said

"Bonnie." He growled

"Don't Bonnie me. I still have a stop to make." She said

She made her way down the semi busy sidewalk towards the magic shop she'd walked into sometime last week. She was hoping to find a job there. It might be the only place she could say she had experience.

When she walked into the place, the owner came out of a back room and her eyes were furious looking. She started rushing at the two.

"You, out!" she exclaimed "Evil! Out!"

She was shooing Stefan out, but Bonnie stopped her.

"He's with me. He's…mostly harmless."

"You trust him?" the lady asked

"For the most part." Bonnie answered

Stefan still stood there with his hands up in surrender as the woman looked at him skeptically.

"Fine." She said "You come back over the weekend."

"What?" Bonnie asked

"You want job. You come back over the weekend and start. I need an inventory girl." She said "Now shoo. I have an important appointment."

Bonnie and Stefan were shoved out of the shop. They had only been in there for ten minutes or maybe less. Stefan looked at Bonnie who looked just as confused.

"What happened?" Bonnie asked unsure

"I think you got a job." He said

"Thought so." She said nodding

"So, are we done?" he now asked

"Yep, you're off duty." She said

"Good," he took her hand and started dragging her off "Time to have fun then."

"Fun? What fun?" she said as she was being dragged along like a ragdoll

"You'll see." He said

He was smiling. She could see it. Why was he smiling? She wasn't sure if she stop him from his groveling attempt or wait to see what he had in store.

* * *

><p>"Bowling?" she said with an estranged look on her face "What brought this on?"<p>

"I haven't gone bowling in thirty years." He said

There were two things about bowling you needed to know. One, she can't bowl and two….she can't bowl. It was so clear that it need repeated twice. She took a step back in an attempt to walk off before even going into the building.

"Oh no you don't." Stefan said

He quickly grabbed Bonnie by the arm and pulled her back. She groaned as they made their way inside. Maybe she could just watch. If she picked up a ball there was a chance she'd hurt someone with it or maybe just suck at this sport. She stood there at the counter as the person on the other side handed her a pair of smelly shoes. She took them and sighed. They were designated the third lane. She sat down and put on the shoes then just sat there.

She watched Stefan put both of their names up on the screen and hit her forehead. He was expecting her to play. She just crossed her arms though with the utmost determination to say no. Stefan looked at her and smirked. She looked all nervous and befuddled.

"This is a bad idea." She said "I'm not playing. I suck at this."

"Eh, oh well. We're not here to keep score." He said

It was his turn first. Picking up the first ball he saw, he moved to send it down the lane.

"It's been a while." She heard him mutter

The ball sped down the lane and all ten pins fell.

"Of course it's a strike." Bonnie mumbled feeling irritated

Bonnie's turn came up and Stefan just shoved the ball her way. She pushed it back her way and shook her head no. He shoved it at her again and let go. She caught it before it hit the floor.

"You don't get it. I'm not good at this." she groaned

Stefan just chuckled. Bonnie turned and saw the pins being lined up. She thought about just putting it down, just flung the heavy ball down the lane and watched as it slowly swerved into the gutter.

"Of course." She grumbled

At least she didn't hit anybody with it by accident. Last time the ball had fallen out of her hand mid swing and it hit a guy she had the biggest crush on right in the gut. She quit playing right after that and Matt never stopped laughing about it. Bonnie looked back at Stefan who was tilted towards the side a little and watched the ball go all gutter.

"Wow." Was all he said

The game went on and on. And as it did Stefan would try to help her and she managed to hit a few pins whereas he hit all of them.

"Wow, I couldn't suck more." Bonnie said as the two of them looked up at the final scores

Stefan scored a perfect game whereas Bonnie only scored a sixty eight.

"It'll get better with practice." he said trying to reassure her

She looked at him like a moron.

"Okay, maybe it won't. I didn't think you serious when you said you sucked. I thought you were just whining." He said chuckling

"Oh, I was whining alright. I was whining in hopes you wouldn't make me look like an idiot." She said "But alas, it didn't work."

Bonnie walked from the bowling area to hand her shoes in. Stefan stopped her though and spun her to face him. She was giving him the 'I am so very bored look'.

"One more game." He said

"No, no way." She said

"I'll let you win." He tempted

Bonnie thought about it then just shook her head no.

"Well, use your," he motioned at her "wits or whatever."

She knew he meant her powers. Even if she could get them working, it would be such a misuse of them.

"No!" she exclaimed

He was now giving her the pouty look. No, it wasn't going to work, she thought to herself. He hasn't been a good friend in the past twenty four hours. Don't do it. Don't. Bonnie rolled her eyes and trudged past him. Picking up the bowling ball, she thrusted it at him.

"Go, before I have an embolism and change my mind." She said flatly

He grinned all proud of himself and brushed past her. Bonnie just tucked her hair behind her ear and sat down. She looked to the lane beside theirs. One of the guys over there was looking her way and Bonnie looked away quickly. What was it that guys had to stare? She didn't get it. Did she suddenly grow to a point that guys actually looked at her? No that wasn't it at all. What it was, was Elena and Meredith weren't here. If they were here, they'd steal all the lime light. They'd get the attention. She was alone though. There weren't many chicks to choose from this little group.

Bonnie didn't look over again. When it was her turn she flung the ball down the lane and didn't take her eyes off of it. As she looked at it as if in some sort of daze, it sped up. It didn't move to the gutter. It kept itself in the center and all ten pins came crashing down. Bonnie blinked rapidly and her eyebrows rose. She'd never gotten a strike and this felt like more than just some spark of luck. She looked back at Stefan who seemed impressed.

She sat back down still thinking about it. A few seconds after she did, she heard a faint whisper in her ear.

"Nice strike."

She looked back and saw the same guy that had been looking at her walk away towards the concession stand. He had brunette hair, it was kind of messy, but it suited him. She smiled a little then looked back and saw Stefan get yet another strike. Go figure, she thought. Stefan looked back at her and could tell that she was bothered. Well, not bothered, but contemplating. Then he saw her gaze falling back to the guy at the concession stand. Did she find someone new to crush on? That was good right? That was moving on? She had a smile twitching at the corner of her lips. She'd smiled that way with him a few times. He was happy sure, but something else itched in the back of his mind. Something revolving around jealousy. No, he didn't get jealous. He didn't even know the meaning of the word. Yet, as Bonnie stood to go towards the stand saying that she was thirsty he stopped her, and accidentally pulled too hard being her light form slammed against his chest and she was looking at him. She looked at him the way nobody else had. She wasn't nervous, she wasn't even scared. It had been a long time since anybody had looked at him without fear of some sort. Even Elena had had some sort of fear of him; it was an indescribable one.

"Let go. I want to go talk to the cute boy. I'm sure you understand that." She said bluntly

Stefan scoffed.

Bonnie wanted to go talk to him. She didn't know what she was going to say, but she was sure that by the time she made it over to him she'd think up a way to talk to him. Either that or completely fumble over her words. It was fifty-fifty. Stefan was making that difficult though. And it got even more difficult when he leaned in and kissed her. Her eyes didn't close, not right away. They went extremely wide and her mind screamed so many vulgar words, then they closed and her mind spoke many dirty things. It was a good thing he'd never given her blood or he'd hear a lot of things from her.


	18. Frozen State

She shoved him away quickly. What was he thinking? What was she thinking? Bonnie took a step back and looked back at the concession stand. The guy was staring at her now along with a few other people. She didn't look at Stefan. She turned and hopped off while trying to take off her bowling shoes. She threw them at the person behind the desk and left. She didn't even bother picking up her shoes. She had plenty shoes back at the loft. She walked barefoot on the sidewalk and even more, it was starting to rain. She was still going over what happened in her mind. Droplets fell on her and made her shudder in delight. It was ninety degrees out and it was starting to rain. It felt good. Maybe it would wash away that recent memory stuck in her head. She could always hope.

"Bonnie!"

Bonnie turned to see Stefan running to catch up with her. She groaned and kept walking. It started raining harder.

"Just don't." she said as she kept walking "I don't want to hear you try to justify what happened."

"There's nothing to justify." He said

Bonnie just shook her head. Nothing to justify! What the hell? Her mind went blank right then. She'd never swore. Not even in her head, but now she was doing it constantly. What was he doing to her? He was getting all close and personal with her. It was crossing the friend line.

"Bonnie stop!" he called

She didn't stop though. She kept going. Things kept happening. It was just one thing after another. Why'd he do it anyways? She didn't want to know.

Stefan followed ten feet behind her trying to get her to stop. He followed her even when she turned into the cemetery by the time she reached the loft. She went there before even thinking about going home. Winding through the gravestones, he eventually lost her. He'd lost her in a cemetery. How did he lose her?

Bonnie smirked as she was ducked behind a large tombstone and watched him look around aimlessly. The rain pattered loudly against the stones. When he turned his back from her, she snuck out from behind the stone and darted to the nearby mausoleum. There were dozens of them all over. The rain made her vision blur. As she watched it wash the earth it suddenly froze. Everything went silent. The raindrops hung in the air. Bonnie reached out to touch one and it soaked into her hand. Did she do this?

Standing up from her crouched position, she looked around amazed. The rain sparkled. She spun around and looked at it. It had blown her mind. She just blinked.

"You did this."

Bonnie jumped and spun around. Stefan stood calmly in front of her. Bonnie looked around again as she pulled a strand of clung hair from her face.

"No I didn't." she said in a quiet voice as she backed away a little

"Yes you did, but you don't believe it." he said

"I stopped using my power after…everything that happened. It wasn't me." She insisted

Stefan moved quickly and put his hands on her shoulders. He didn't say anything more. He just took her gaze. His hands moved down her arms and she didn't stop him. She liked the touch. It was comforting, but it was wrong. He was his brother. Granted, she was never exactly looked at the way she was now. It was empathy not sympathy. Sympathy was a useless emotion.

"Do you want me to apologize for feeling close to you?" he asked

He felt close to her? How did he feel close? If anything he should feel not…close. He was trying and trying and trying and it wouldn't end would it?

"You had no intention of leaving me alone did you? You know, from when I first saw you again?" she asked

He looked stunned right then as if he had no idea. She could tell he was thinking about it. He had to think about it. Was that bad?

"I didn't know." He admitted "But I also didn't know how hard it would be to not be around. You needed somebody."

She still needed somebody. She nodded and tried to smile. It was a pathetic smile. It was so pathetic that even Stefan chuckled at her and hugged her.

"I…like being with you Bonnie. It's so much trouble, but I get a feeling that it's worth it to get to the end." He said in a whisper

"A feeling eh?" she said

"It's all I got, that and jealousy which doesn't look good on me."

She pulled away and looked up at him.

"Jealousy? You're…never jealous." She said as if surprised yet spacey "Were you like that with Elena."

"I was." He said

She'd never seen it, but when he said yes to that question she knew who the other end of the jealousy was. It was his own brother. It was hard to live up to something so reckless, she guessed. Reaching up, she caressed his cheek. Pulling back she moved to walk away. The rain storm was still frozen as she slipped from his fingertips.

"Stefan, it'd be a dream to…I don't know the words…I sound mental to even contemplate saying them, but I don't know what you see in me. There's nothing special about me." Bonnie said "There's nothing."

She turned, but he stood in front of her, blocking her. Her breath staggered and she took a step back. She didn't look at him. She looked at a tombstone past him.

"I'm sorry." He said

She looked at him surprised. He sounded as if he meant it.

"I should've stayed away. Either that or I should've acted sooner." He said

Then suddenly, he kissed her. It wasn't a simple kiss either. His lips made full contact and it was electrifying to all of her senses. Her heart accelerated faster and faster. She wasn't stopping him. She wasn't sure she wanted to. It was something she couldn't describe. It got her…it got her to feel. He got her to feel. The rain poured down on them now. He'd melded himself to her and she let him. The affection wasn't rough and it wasn't forceful. He was holding her now and she wasn't pushing him away. She didn't want to, not this time. She liked this feeling. It sent her higher than a kite if that made any sense at all. Did it matter if he was a dead person though? She shook off the thought, she was a bit busy at the moment. She'd ask Justin about it later.


	19. An Understanding

Bonnie came out of the elevator. Her and Stefan were laughing lightly and he'd taken her hand. It was foreign to her and she didn't want to be rude and pull away, but she did it quickly when she saw who was sitting on the couch.

"Meredith." She said, her eyes bigger than possible

Meredith sat on the couch and Justin was in the kitchen.

"Matt had to use the bathroom." Justin said "They showed up wondering if they could see you, but imagine my surprise you weren't here."

"Uh yeah, I went uh bowling." Bonnie said

The words came out wrong and warped and Bonnie just shook her head. Meredith looked a little surprised if only for a second then her face went blank. She didn't care to be here and everyone could see it. Even Justin noticed it and she had her back to him. she was staring at Stefan and Bonnie as if they were aliens, and not the most attractive ones.

"It's good to see you Meredith." Stefan said

"I saw Elena a few weeks ago."

"How is she?" he asked immediately interested

"She's doing alright. Dalcrest was great for her along with the therapy. She still thinks about you though." Meredith answered

There was no part of missing Bonnie in there. Bonnie just edged away and leaned against the wall. Matt came out a few seconds later and sat with them and joined the conversation. Bonnie just listened. Justin listened from the kitchen and vedged out on food. He looked over at Bonnie who seemed lost in thought. Slowly, she slipped away and went to her room. No one noticed. She got changed into sleeping clothes and laid down. She could hear them talking outside her room still. Bonnie just brushed her hair and dimmed her lights down low. She didn't want to be completely in the dark. She laid down and snuggled deep down into the bed. It was all feathery and warm. Warmth was something she could use being she was a drowned rat.

Bonnie had fallen asleep almost instantly which was surprising being she had so much on her mind. Everything that had happened should've kept her from sleeping. Her door creaked open slowly, she shifted a little, but didn't wake. The bed moved as someone laid down beside her.

"You looked lonely."

"Mhm." Bonnie sighed

She opened her eyes a little.

"I had to tell you something." She said in a whisper

"It's okay."

"But I didn't say anything."

"Bonnie, I'm not your dad. I'm your best friend and roommate." He said "Granted, I wish it would've been me, but your heart is all funky."

Bonnie smiled as she turned over and snuggled in close to Justin.

"I hate you for being so perfect." She breathed

He chuckled and pulled a few strands of hair from her face.

"I'm not perfect, but I'm glad you think so." He said

"Mhm."

She fell back asleep and Justin joined her in that endeavor. He'd seen her sneak off to her room and the three others didn't even notice. They were the people she'd known longer than him and they ignored her. Stefan and her walk in and it wasn't hard to tell that something had gone on between the two. It was something dramatic enough that they were closer instead of farther apart. Then there was Matt and Meredith. Meredith completely ignored her and Matt had brought her here. Sure, Matt had the best intentions to bring her here and maybe restore old friendships. Neither of them talked though.

The sleep was peaceful. When Bonnie woke up, she couldn't remember if she'd dreamt.

She let Justin stay there though. He looked like a mess, but it was too adorable to not get a picture. After getting the picture, she walked out into the main room and closed her bedroom door quietly. There was a mass asleep on the couch, and she could hear snoring from upstairs. It made her wish that Justin actually had walls for his room. She made her way towards the kitchen where the sink was actually filled with dishes.

"Nice," she muttered to herself "You eat my food, but you don't acknowledge my presence."

Bonnie started cleaning the dishes and put them away. No one awoke from the clatter. They were all sound asleep like rocks. Bonnie pulled out a bowl and a box of cereal next. She sat down and ate. It was nice and quiet.

"Mmmm…Quiet." She said aloud

She giggled a little. Even her mind was quiet. There were no ramblings. She wasn't sure why either she should've been fretting like crazy, but she wasn't. A knock at the door made her jump up out of her seat. The person on the couch threw a pillow at the door and groaned. Bonnie smirked. Having put her bowl in the sink, she answered the door.

"Hell-o?" she said and stuttered

"I thought it'd be more appropriate to knock this time."

Bonnie nodded silently. She stepped out into the hall and stood across from Christian.

"What do you want this time? Because, you are not turning me." She said

"Too bad. I was hoping that when you were calmer you might contemplate it." Christian said

"Your sister is here."

"Really?" he said sounding intrigued

"Yes, leave or I'll certainly grab her attention."

"You wouldn't do that." He said

"Oh I would. At the moment I'm pretending that you might have some sort of heart in there and will leave me alone. If you don't…there will be measures I'll have to resort to."

"Sounds…fun." He said "But I don't think you have what it takes. You don't even use your power."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. He was playing with her.

"Goodbye Christian. I don't ever want to see you again."

"I can't promise that Bon. I can't stay away from the girl I'm meant to be with."

Bonnie closed the door. Turning, she saw a bed head Meredith sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She looked at bonnie as if ready to say something.

"Don't bother." Bonnie said "Just eat some more of my food and make yourself even more at home."

Meredith looked at her as if insulted. Bonnie on the other hand was surprised at herself.

"Bonnie, that's a bit harsh."

"Harsh? No, it was me being confident. You came here to MY home and ignore me and my roommate then have the nerve to actually stay." Bonnie said

"Matt forced me to come Bonnie."

"He didn't force you to do anything. You could've not come. You are your own person, you know?" bonnie said now crossing her arms over her chest "Then again, I'm sure you came to make sure I wasn't screwing around with your brother."

"He's a vampire Bonnie!" she exclaimed "It's not safe."

"It will never be safe for me. It'll never be safe for any of us or haven't you come to that realization." Bonnie snapped

"That doesn't mean you join them."

"I didn't join anybody. It's not like they're zombies bent on eating our brains. There are parts of them that are still human."

"Wow. You're just like Elena. You're blind by whatever love you think you're feeling."

"I'm not feeling any love. I never did. I did…feel something though."

"Oh?"

"Alive." Bonnie said clearly "I haven't felt alive since Damon died."

Meredith didn't say anything. The two stared at each other long and hard.

"I'll be here for a few days. I'm sure you know why." Meredith said

She wasn't asking to stay here. She was enforcing it. Bonnie shook her head.

"Whatever." Bonnie mumbled

Bonnie walked off towards her bedroom.

"Bonnie wait" Meredith called feeling a sudden wave of guilt.

Bonnie closed the door behind her and moved to her closet. She needed to get changed into some actual clothing. Justin still slept. The only thing that had changed was his position. After getting changed, she went back out to the living room. Meredith was folding up the blanket. Bonnie noticed Matt now sitting at the counter with a bowl in front of him. He didn't seem to register anything.

"I'm…" where could Bonnie go that she hadn't been?

She sighed then just sat down on the couch beside Meredith and propped her feet up on coffee table by the large crystal ball.

"Hand me the remote." Bonnie said sounding bored

Meredith did and just propped her feet up on the other side of the crystal ball. They didn't say anything. They just sat in silence and watched the tv.

"you know I'm going to kill him right?" Meredith said eventually

"Can I help?" Bonnie asked knowing exactly who she was talking about

"Not exactly what I figured would rekindle our friendship, but I guess it's a start isn't it?"

"Maybe." Bonnie said

Bonnie knew Christian would never quit. She just knew and all he was, was a reminder.

"So Stefan eh?"

"We're not that close." Bonnie said "But maybe I'll talk about it when we are."

"I look forward to it then."

Meredith and Bonnie looked at each other nearly smiling, but neither of them cracked.


	20. Light In The Darkest Place

Bonnie sat outside a small café. The cup of coffee in her hands was untouched.

"Not thirsty?"

She looked as Stefan sat down across from her. He leaned over the table to kiss her, but she just turned her cheek to him.

"What is it?" he asked

"I saw how reminiscing about Elena was. You were all excited to hear about her." Bonnie said "I'm never going to compare to her am I?"

Bonnie understood that Elena was her friend, but Elena also left her. She didn't even call anymore even though she said she'd keep contact. It broke Bonnie's heart being she looked up to Elena like a sister. Bonnie scooted her chair back and stood.

"It's fine. Really. And you can trust me when I say that it's you not me." She said "I can't be with somebody who's still in love with their ex. I'm ready to move forward, it's you who isn't. I saw it clearly."

"Bonnie, you're being unfair."

"No. I'm doing what everyone has been yelling at me to do." She said calmly

She didn't feel angry. She didn't argue. She just spoke calmly. Things were slowly working out…sorta.

"I can't be with someone who isn't here with me." She said "I care about you immensely, but I can't. it'll screw me up all over again and maybe that's why I've been screw up, you know? It's you and all those mixed signals or whatever."

She shrugged lightly and smirked. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a few bills for the coffee she didn't even drink. She was just passing a little time and didn't expect company to find her. She had to tell him and it was like a blessing he'd found her.

Stefan sat there for a moment.

"Bonnie," he called

She turned.

"That was never what I meant for. Please just-"

"Stefan don't. because I might cave and I can't do that right now okay? Just take your time and in the future who knows?" she said "We just need space."

"We're not friends?"

"Of course we're friends moron. I don't think I could live without you in my life. I just don't think we should date." She said

Her words faltered so slightly that only he caught it.

"Some day?" he asked

She didn't answer. Turning, she continued walking down the street. She needed to get to work anyway. It was only a few blocks away anyhow and it's why she chose to relax at the café. When she got to the shop, the woman who'd hired her came out of the back as if expecting her. She wore her usual colorful ensemble with multiple pentagrams and such around her neck. She took one off and handed it to me. F

"You wear this. It protect you." She said

Bonnie looked down at it briefly.

"Right." Bonnie mumbled

She put it on. A weird feeling came over her for a second. She figured it was just because she hadn't eaten yet today.

"What would you like me to do first?" Bonnie asked

"Stay at cash register. I be back later."

Ever since Bonnie had met this woman she couldn't figure out her accent. She figured it was Romanian or something. But she did as she asked and took a seat on the stool behind the counter. After about a half hour of sitting, she stood and took a look around. From the last time she'd looked around the place was rearranged and different. There were new things on the shelves. There was not a thing on there she'd seen before. Then all of the sudden she heard a bell ring and someone walked in. Bonnie hurried back behind the counter and smiled lightly as the customer looked around. Bonnie looked at the door then cocked her head to the side. The door rung to signify the entry of a person like it always did, but there was no bell at the top to ring. She scratched the back of her neck and shook her head.

"Hi." The customer said who had a complete goth makeover

She seemed nice and all.

"Hi." Bonnie greeted back as she got the price of each item and put them in a bag

"I like your pentagram. Must be powerful protection." She commented

Bonnie looked down at it and nodded.

"Have a nice day." She said and handed the goth her bag

She let out a deep breath as soon as she let. The bell had rung again as that goth left. There was no freaking bell up there! Bonnie propped her chin on her palms and just sat there.

Hours went by and that Romainian woman still hadn't returned. Bonnie had looked back towards the back room a few time where she'd seen the woman come from a few times. Sure, Bonnie wanted to know what was back there, but she didn't want to get fired on her first day either. So she wandered around and served the few customers that came through that door. By the time the woman returned it was dark.

"Goodnight red. See you tomorrow." She said

Bonnie just waved and made her way out. First day of work? Really boring. Tomorrow she'd bring entertainment of some source.

The walk back to the loft was scary and it was at that point that she hated not having a car. She could hear footsteps behind her. There multiple footsteps now. Her heart raced fast and she sped. It was only a few more blocks she told herself.

"Hey beautiful lady." A burly man said

He was large and Bonnie was minuscule to him. She kept her eyes to the ground though. She felt scared, really scared. She didn't feel like being one of those disappearances that ended up in a ditch or sewer.

"No need for the silent treatment." Someone said from her other side

She still didn't say anything. She clutched herself even tighter and her breathing stuttered.

"Hey, we're talking to you beautiful." The burly one said as he grabbed her

"No!" she screamed

She started to fight, but it was useless. The burly one had a firm hold on both her arms now and the one behind her had a hold on her butt. She kicked and flung herself side to side to try and get loose. They just laughed as they moved the event to an alley.

Then as the burly one flung against a brick wall, Bonnie's hands moved to guard her face and suddenly the burly one's friend was flung backwards.

"You little bitch." The burly one growled

He moved towards her with the coldest look she ever saw and in that moment she could've sworn that her life flashed in her eyes. He moved to grab at her, but then a sudden flash of light sprung out at him and he joined his friend unconscious on the asphalt.

Bonnie looked down at the necklace and scrambled to her feet. She didn't hesitate to run. When she reached the edge of the alley she stopped.

"That is wrong with me?" she cried

She tucked the amulet pentagram in her shirt and ran the rest of the way. Instead of going left to the loft thought she went right right into the graveyard.

"Stefan!" she called

she thought that maybe him being a bit homeless, he'd be like any cliché and stake out in a cemetery. She was right too.

"What is it?" he asked not two seconds after her calling him

She turned to him, the tears not stopping.

"I could really use a friend right now." She said as she sniffled "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Shhh." He hushed her as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close

He could smell something else on her. It was alcoholic. She didn't drink though.

"What happened?" he asked

Bonnie just shook her head not wanting to talk about it and dug her face into his chest. Christian wasn't far off. He saw her cry too.

"Why is she running to you? She doesn't even want to be with you. She needs someone stronger…someone to be her equal. Stupid fool, can't even let go of his ex and yet he wants her as a trophy too. Watch out Stefan Salvatore, I'm out for blood, yours. Only one can have her and it'll be me being she only wants to be 'friends.'" He said in a mocking tone

His grinned. This might be easy if Stefan is as gullible as he thinks. He'll just give up.

**Okay, I figured there need to be something done about the Stefan/Bonnie situation. I figured that this would be like any natural relationship…trouble with expectations to another person. I hope you liked it and that you review.**


	21. How Storming Off Works Or Doesn't Work

**Geez i haven't mentioned it, but i do not own The Vampire Diaries. I'm sure who ever is reading this knew that already.**

He'd walked her home and when he told Meredith what happened she freaked and was ready to take action. That was when Bonnie scoffed and stormed off toward her room.

"Don't pretend to care Meredith. I'm just the bait you need for your brother. Save the act for once." Bonnie said

Her bedroom door slammed shut before anyone could say anything. She didn't want to hear Meredith fake any emotion that wasn't really there and she could hear it loud and clear. She thought Meredith was better than that. She was the one who was always straight with people.

There was a light knock at the door.

"Bonnie, can I come in?"

It was Stefan. Did he not understand that she stormed away? It can't be called storming off if someone follows you. This was ridiculous. She was mad and…she'd been mad a lot lately. She'd had a lot of emotions erupt.

"Bite me." She growled under her breath then sighed

Stefan chuckled as he stepped in.

"Careful who you say that to." he said

"You know I was trying to storm off. You coming in here isn't helping that cause." Bonnie said

"Oh. Well, I can go-"

"Arg!" Bonnie threw up her arms

Stefan went from chuckling to laughing then.

"This isn't funny. I got attacked last night and Meredith is acting all noble like she's my friend."

"Well, she was-"

"Exactly, was!" bonnie cut him off again "She hasn't even earned back my friendship yet."

"Earned it back!" came a shriek

Both Stefan and Meredith saw Meredith in the doorway.

"Ever heard of privacy? It's common in this house."

"Earn your friendship? You slept with my brother and might I add he is a vampire! He's dangerous and could've been killed!"

Bonnie saw the anger flaring in Meredith and nearly laughed. She laughed so hard that she went to sit on her bed and slid off and hit the floor. Stefan stood there confused.

"You're not mad because he's dangerous and I could've gotten killed." She said trying to breathe "You're mad because I slept with him and didn't tell you."

Meredith closed the space between them and slapped her across the face. Bonnie held the side of her face as Stefan shoved Meredith away. He held Bonnie as she just rubbed her jaw.

"Coddling the dead loving girl?" Meredith asked rhetorically "Of course you would."

Meredith shook her head disgusted.

"You disapprove of them so much." Bonnie said quietly "They're not completely dead."

"Yes, they are!" she yelled

"I've seen it." Bonnie muttered and looked at Stefan

He just nodded and pulled her in close.

"They aren't always monsters."

"Yes, they are and they've clouded who you were."

"Good. I'm glad."

Meredith just shook her head. She opened her mouth to say something more and possibly insult and hurt bonnie even more when Stefan stopped her.

"Get out." He said darkly and quietly as he cradled the dazed red head "You were brought here to possibly try be her friend, her support for the hell we've all gone through and you just shove all her mistakes right in her face. Get out."

Meredith shook her head and stomped off. Justin paid no mind to her as she came from Bonnie's room.

"You don't care do you?" she snapped at him as she stood at the door

"I care immensely for her. I love her, but I've come to know that she is far different from any person I've ever known and I've accepted it. She's different. Stefan's different. I would die to be different like them…" he paused "Stefan, don't take that literally!"

He knew Stefan had better hearing than normal people and didn't want to test any limits.

"You're the one who has issues excepting people apparently. You have to attack a girl you were supposed to fix a friendship with."

"You don't know them-"

"Like you? No, I don't. That's okay."

"She was innocent, pure. Everything good and I could always count on her."

"So you shout and yell at her for a mistake? People make them. Get over it." Justin said

It was like a slap to the face. She heard a door close behind her. Meredith was crying now as she looked at Bonnie who still looked dazed and had a red mark on her cheek where she'd been hit. Stefan was still looking at her concerned with the utmost compassion. Meredith hadn't seen something like that. He had his hand on her wrist gently and Meredith could see it sliding slowly to fit in her small hand. Her fingers laced with his. Meredith had heard that Bonnie and Stefan had been a lot closer, but that Bonnie was insecure about it. Justin had a big mouth so it was okay. It was Stefan who cared so much. What was the bond that had them on a regular basis of knowing each other? Meredith's thoughts stopped.

"Damon." She said ever so quietly

She knew about the bond those two had with him. She even thought that Damon's bond with Bonnie was something even more special than Elena's. Elena may have been the princess of darkness, but Bonnie couldn't compare to that. She was so much of the light. That is why he cared about her. The light in her. He wanted it for himself and she couldn't have blamed him. She was everything good that none of them could compare to. None of them could even try to be so pure. She always gave someone a chance.

Meredith wiped her eyes. Bonnie parted from Stefan who took a step to follow, but she stopped him.

"I'm okay. She didn't kill me with a slap to the face." She told him

She walked up to Meredith without stumbling and stopped a few inches away. She looked at her blankly and let out a deep breath. Justin was now on his feet unsure about what would happen.

"Do you feel better?" Bonnie asked

"No, I hit you. I was so angry." She said

"So was I? I was angry for a long time. It was unbelievable. I had even rejected my power because I was so angry and sad." Bonnie said "It's okay."

"No, Bonnie it's not."

Bonnie rolled her eyes and Meredith scoffed at it.

"You rolled your eyes at me?" she half laughed which came out strangled with her tears now drying up

"I've learned a few new tricks and sarcasm and back talk happen to be a few." Bonnie joked

"She learned the back talk from me." Justin chimed in feeling deeply proud about it

Meredith sniffled and tried to smile.

"I should uh go. Could we retry tomorrow or something?" Meredith asked "I promise to keep my hands to myself."

Stefan's eyebrows rose, but his serious facial expression didn't change. Meredith knew that look. He'd kill with one wrong move. She'd seen it before and didn't like remembering it. She looked away from him.

"I'll try." Bonnie said "I know I've been stupid about it too."

Meredith nodded and moved towards the front door. Stefan moved back to Bonnie's side where she hadn't noticed how close he was. He sat on the arm of the couch where the two were now touching. She seemed distracted and scatter brained by the recent events and would get a headache any minute. He reached out and took her hand. Her head jerked in his direction as if just noticing. She was immediately sucked into the look in his eyes. He needed reassurement for some reason. She looked down at the light grip he had on her hand. For some reason, she got the feeling that that small gesture was a life changing thing. She was determined to try to take her time. She knew who he was. She knew more than she thought with him. And when she looked in his eyes, she that he did care about her and that it was only her. She'd never seen that before. She'd never knew it would be him. There were people she had once wished did like Damon or Matt, but it was him. This surprised her, no, it shocked her. It shocked her from her fingertips to everywhere else. Looking down, at their hands again she laced her fingers through his. To hell, with wanting to do this the right way, she thought to herself.

Meredith hadn't noticed the two as she walked to the door. Opening it, she paused and took a step back. Her breath stuttered with regret.

"Bonnie! Meredith! I can't believe I caught you two in the same place." Elena's voice rang, but she froze when she looked at Bonnie and saw Stefan as well. It was like a hit to the face, as if she'd been robbed of something.

It was regret for ever giving Elena Bonnie's new address.


	22. Normal?

Everyone stood there frozen. Even Justin did though he was more confused than anything. This was that Laney chick? Huh. She was beautiful, but she looked too perfect. It was disturbing.

"Well, come one in." Justin said breaking the thick ice that shrouded the entire room

Meredith took a step to the side. Elena just stood there for several minutes then took small steps inside.

"I-I wanted to surprise you. I figured it had been forever since we saw each other. Meredith told me where you had moved off to over the phone." Elena said "I see that I wasn't the only one with that idea though…hello Stefan."

She was quiet like a hurt puppy dog and a sudden flood of guilt washed through Bonnie. She wanted to look at Stefan and Meredith, but she seemed glued to Elena.

"Hello." He greeted quietly "How are you doing?"

"Much better. What about you? I've thought a lot about you." She said

"I'm doing good, real good." He said

There was no falter, but did that really. Everything part of Bonnie was yelling for her to run, but she felt glued to the spot she was in and Stefan hadn't let go of her hand. She would've never made it out anyways, Elena was blocking the door and it would take to long to wait for the elevator.

"What about you Bonnie?" she asked

She didn't look at her though. Bonnie knew that she was angry at her. It was a silent way of knowing.

"I got attacked and then my necklace beat away the creeps, and I'm being stalked by Meredith's brother." Bonnie blurted "So, I guess I'm good. I'm going to go get changed…I'm a mess and stepped into a pothole on my way home."

Without anything else, Bonnie let go of Stefan's hand and he reluctantly did the same. She could tell that he didn't want to be alone with Elena. Bonnie walked as quickly as she could to her room and closed the door. She was half tempted to lock it.

"She was your best friend. There's no reason to feel like she's out to get you. Then again you're with her ex." Bonnie muttered to herself

As she made her way towards her closet, the door opened and closed. Bonnie spun quickly, but there was no one there. She did hear it open right? Something deeper than whatever intuition she consisted of told her that something was there. The amulet she wore glowed lightly beneath her clothes.

Bonnie didn't want to be scared anymore tonight, but here she was shaking. She hadn't even stopped shaking since she got home.

Trying to ignore it, she opened her closet door. She slowly sifted through her clothing. There was no concentration for her and all she was doing was getting clothes. It shouldn't have been hard, but there were people here. She was too overwhelmed. Then to make it worse, a set or hands graced her hips and smoothed around her waist making her nearly scream and gasp. Her heart raced even faster than it already was and she felt dizzy.

"You left me alone."

His voice was soft and husky. His heavy breathing brushed along her ears. She felt like he'd taken a sudden control and she just wanted to get sucked into him. That wasn't bad was it?

"I figured you two wanted to talk." was Bonnie's excuse

"I don't have to tell her everything about me." He said

Bonnie's eyes fluttered and she leaned back into him. His thumbs rubbed soft circles near her belly button. This feeling was new to her, it was warmth and it was spreading from a place she couldn't describe. Should she stop? She didn't know if she wanted to, it felt so good. Bonnie pulled away though realizing that if it felt any better and she didn't doubt that it couldn't that there would be a problem.

"Hey," she snapped "I am a respectable young woman here. Do not try to take advantage of me."

He rose his hands up in a playful surrender.

"You weren't complaining." He commented

She scowled at him and felt her cheeks heat up from embarrassment. The scowling faded when she'd realized that if she hadn't pulled away he wouldn't have stopped and she would have let him continue to…oh god, she had been aroused. Bonnie gulped, and just pulled out a set of jeans and a dark blue tank top. When she looked back at him he was already turned away. A lot of thoughts occurred to her. Had he been that way with Elena? She smacked them all away. It didn't keep her from being all jittered which only added to the rest of what she was feeling.

After getting changed, she tried sneaking past him towards the door. Maybe it was better to face the wolves. Either way she didn't know what to do. She'd never experienced this with anyone; she'd never gotten so close. She had also never felt the kind of horrid feeling she was from Elena.

Stefan grabbed her around the waist stopping her.

"We do not have to go back out there. I can hear Meredith talking to Elena, and you probably don't want to be out there." He said in her ear "I can hear your heart racing."

That made her shudder. She'd tried to fight that, but damn him. Arg! He was changing her. They were only supposed to remain friends and keep in touch. This was not what it was. It was far from it. Looking back at him, her eyes wandered. It was like whatever control she had went over to something…primal. It was something she didn't know existed. He didn't seem to mind too much as his own eyes wandered. What had brought this on? Neither of them knew.

Without realizing it, the two had drawn closer to each other. No longer were there inches or centimeters between them. Stefan leaned in closer to kiss her neck. Her breath stuttered as he did and her stomach felt like it would drop. It was painful yet it felt so good. Whatever she had been thinking about was long gone and he took up all of her thoughts. She didn't know how he did it, but he did. He knew he did it too by the grin on his face in the dark. His lips found hers easily and she let him in. His other hand tangling through her hair easily. The sensation made Bonnie feel weak and dazed, but she loved it. It was easy to tell why kissing was so freaking amazing.

Stefan pulled away after what felt lik forever to her.

"I can't…stay." He told her

She smirked and shook her head then playfully shoved him away.

"You buttered me up you little creep." She said

"I'm sorry." He said "I'll make it up to you."

"I'd like to see that." She half laughed

"Well, unless you want me to feed on you…"

"I wouldn't have to talk to Elena, because that's drama I DON'T want to face." She said

"Not an option."

"But-"

He cut her off with a kiss.

"No."

"Fudge." She mumbled

He smirked and turned towards the balcony where he decided to take the short cut and just jump.

"Wish I could do that." Bonnie mumbled

Turning, she made aslight whining sound and walked out of her room. Elena and Meredith were on the couch and Justin was nowhere to be seen.

"Justin said he had the night shift. He had to go." Meredith told her being it was probably obvious to see the panic on her face

Great, now I'm really alone, Bonnie thought. She could still taste him on her lips and clung to that.

"So you and Stefan?" Elena said

"It's," what did she say "new."

Elena nodded.

"Well, don't worry. I'm going to get back together with him." she said

Meredith's eyebrows rose right then with a look of 'what the heck?'. Bonnie's stomach churned.

"I'm-" she played her words carefully, she didn't want another fight. She'd had enough of fights "happy for you. Really, it's good that you want to repair it."

"It's all like a broken mirror. I'm just putting all the pieces back together." She said smiling

"I bet you'll see the cracks in that reflection." Bonnie whispered so low that no one heard

"It's also why I came to see you. I would've waited, but I want things to go back to normal. I missh it." she continued

"Too bad." Bonnie said "Nothing is ever going back to normal so good luck with your fantasy."

"Things can go back to normal."

"Right, then tell me, how will you bring Damon into that. I always figured he was part of that normal."

"That's not fair."

"Yeah, well, I've learned that a lot of things aren't fair. Life tends to throw out on your butt like my so called friends did. I moved on though. And I see a few others doing the same." Bonnie looked at Meredith with that last part and nodded

Meredith smiled slightly. She took that compliment. She seemed to understand.

"Yeah, well, he was mine!" she shrieked "Remember? We made a pact that that's the way it would be. You promised."

"And promises get broken." Bonnie said "They're always broken, intentionally or not."

"What happened to you? Your being horrible. I thought you wold've been supportive."

Bonnie's mouth hung open. It was like she could actually feel the sting from the words coming from her mouth. There was no way she'd sleep.

"I am supportive, but you can't rip into our lives so you can have YOUR normal back. It's not right and…I understand." Bonnie finally said

"No, you don't." She spat now getting up

Bonnie took a step back. She didn't want to get hit again. Meredith stood too ready to break up whatever might happened.

"You're scarred. We're all scarred."

"No." she protested

"The scars are different for each of us." Bonnie continued "Stefan's brother, you loved him, I…my friend."

Elena shook her head.

"I just want it all back." She said "And I'll get it with or without you. You stole him anyways."

"I-"

"That is enough Elena. You know she was hurting just as bad as the rest of us. She hid from the world because of it. So, Stefan and her found each other. It happened, there's nothing we could've done."

"It was her fault." Elena started to cry "It should've been her."

"I know." Bonnie breathed "I tell myself that every day."

Elena cried even more.

Wiping her eyes, she walked right up to bonnie. She didn't hit and she didn't hug her. They just stood there in a staring contest.

"I don't know if I can be friends with you anymore. You're with a man I love." She said barely

"We haven't been friends in a long time Elena."

She nodded and sniffled.

"I wish this could've gone better. I wish none of this never happened." She said

"I've wished that too." Bonnie agreed "It's too late though."

"I see that."

Bonnie could see it in her eyes. It was like a reflection of herself. The pain had faded, but this was once her.

"I meant what I said. I'm going to be with him."

"Okay." Bonnie said

If it was meant to happen then it would. Bonnie would cry more and probably not talk to them anymore. It wasn't like she talked much now. She would move on. She smirked at her next thought. Damon wouldn't like it if she was so hung up on his little brother anyway. He'd prefer her to go on.

"Enough you two." Meredith said

Bonnie sighed.

"For what it's worth. It was nice to see you." Bonnie said flatly

She brushed past Elena and took a seat on the couch. What else was she going to do? She'd thought about hugging her, but they weren't that close anymore. It was one of the many things that had fallen apart. What was she going to do about it? All she could do was take it as it came at her.

"I wish nothing, but the best to you Elena." Bonnie said as Elena walked out

The second she heard the front door close and that's when she knew.

"I'm never going to see her again." She mumbled to herself

"You want to be alone?"

Bonnie looked up at her. She saw that familiar look on Meredith's face. It was a comforting look.

"No." Bonnie said

Meredith flipped off her shoes and sat beside her. Bonnie couldn't keep out everyone. It was good to have her, though she had a hard time admitting it to herself. Meredith wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. Bonnie just leaned into it.

"By the way, you were never bait in my plan to get rid of my brother." Meredith said

"Really?" Bonnie asked curiously

Meredith chuckled.


	23. Journeys

Bonnie went to work the next day and 'forgot' her phone back at her room. She just didn't want to be bothered, because once again she was forced to run right on through her thoughts and feelings and she'd done it so much lately that she just wanted to stop. She wanted to give up, but she knew better. It was a never ending cycle really. She'd start to feel like things were going to be okay, then something would happen or someone would say something and she'd be back to where she was. And that was abnormally depressed and suppress herself from the world till someone came looking for her. It wasn't like that today. Today she just wanted peace and quiet from her life which had become drama. It wasn't that hard. Even her newfound boss could tell. She'd left Bonnie alone only after she asked her if she was still wearing the necklace. It seemed pretty important and it had saved Bonnie's life. She had no intention of taking it off. Well, she did, but that was only to give it to Justin.

He'd gotten into the middle of things and the last thing she wanted was to see her best friend end up dead.

During her lunch break, she decided to look around the shop. Once again she found things there that she'd never seen the day before.

"It's so strange." She muttered

"Oh, you'll always see something different." Her boss came in from nowhere

"Yeah, but where do you get it all?" Bonnie asked

"It comes on its own." She answered as she lit incense

She sighed a little and looked long and hard at Bonnie. Bonnie wanted to say something, because it was rather awkward, but just stayed quiet instead.

"You're blocked up child. So many hard times." She said

In the next instant, she took Bonnie's hand and dragged her from behind the counter and towards the back room.

"Come I will help. You will get unblocked." She insisted

Bonnie yanked back her hand and shook her head.

"I stopped using my power. I don't want to. I-" she cut off not knowing how describe it

"It is not you who is the bad one. Not you. You will be okay."

Bonnie paused and thought about it. Who was this woman? She was some kinda different.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I have no idea who you are except that you're my boss who seems just a little loony though I'm sure I should be used to it." Bonnie said nervously

"Just come." She said seeming impatient

The Romanian woman pulled Bonnie towards the back room and now Bonnie wasn't so sure she wanted to go back there. There wouldn't be any animal sacrifices would there? She didn't want to kill thumper. Reluctantly, Bonnie went with her not that she had a choice being the woman who was surprisingly shorter than her had a hold on her wrist. Bonnie cocked her head to the side. How did she not know she was shorter? You'd think she would've.

The backroom was dark. It was dark until dozens upon dozens of candles lit up by themselves. Bonnie's eyes went wide and she looked at the woman.

"It's time to let down your blockades now. You will need to live again."

"I am living though." Bonnie said

"Not in here." The woman pointed to the m idle of Bonnie's chest

"I don't know you that well." Bonnie still protested "For all I know you want to kill me. It wouldn't be the first time I trusted someone and they tried to kill me…I don't think anyway."

"Fine." She growled "My name is Anica. Happy now? It make you feel better?"

"A little." Bonnie gulped

"Good." She said and moved to the center of the room "Now come. It's time for a journey."

More journeys. That's what I need right now. The thought what sarcastic in her mind. She stood across from Anica and took her hands, which had been held out to her. As soon as she did she felt faint. It was a little funny and she laughed a little too. It was funny because she could remember the last time she fainted. A few seconds after she started giggling she dropped to the floor.

"Sleep child…it's only the beginning to find you." Anica said

* * *

><p>Stefan saw Justin coming out of the building and went to catch up to him. Putting his hand on his shoulder, Justin jumped and nearly screamed.<p>

"Don't you have a cowbell or something!" Justin exclaimed "You could seriously kill someone by doing that."

"Sorry." Stefan said stifling the urge to chuckle.

"Hey, you haven't seen Bonnie by chance have you?" Justin asked

"She did get a job."

"Ah, right. I'm always used to her wandering around the loft." Justin said

"Where are you heading to?" Stefan asked

Justin looked at him as if he were in an awkward situation. Was Stefan really making conversation with him? The vampire who usually gets all defensive?

"Work." he answered "I was finally able to get the day shift, which has me happy being I was hoping to surprise Bonnie with a movie night. I know she hates horror, but that's why I got comedy. We haven't been able to do much hanging around lately."

"That sounds good."

Justin still felt awkward.

"Why are we talking…" Justin trailed off "We usually don't do much of that."

"It's a bad thing." Stefan said as if he was doing something wrong

"No! No, it's not that. It's…weird is all. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but uh just give it a little time. I'm used to you jumped down my throat." Justin said

Stefan nodded.

"alright, well tell Bonnie I'll talk to her later."

"That might not be such a good idea." Justin said

Stefan gave him a questioning look, and Justin debated not telling him.

"What is it?" Stefan said, his face now serious

"Last night, ummm why can't I remember her name? The third one of what used to be Bonnie's little group of friends. She'd blonde…"

"Elena." Stefan said

"Yeah, that's it. I don't know what she said, but Bonnie's been quiet since this morning. She hasn't even answered my texts." Justin said

"I'll talk to Bonnie. I know she's had a rough time." Stefan said

"I wouldn't worry about Bonnie. I'd talk to the blonde. Something tells me it wasn't much of Bonnie's fault this time."

"Justin, Elena isn't cruel alright? She's just looking to reconnect. She'll get over it." Stefan said

"Careful on what side you choose Stefan." Justin said as he shook his head "I gotta go though, work and all."

Stefan nodded and waved as Justin started to run off. Why did there have to be sides? He didn't want to choose between wanting a great relationship and having a chance to restore something he'd lost to get friendship. For several minutes Stefan stood there on the bustling sidewalk. Shaking off what Justin said he made his way out of the main part of the city and to the outer parts. It was less crowded there. He couldn't help think about his words though. He sounded weary of Elena like she couldn't be trusted. He was there longer than Stefan. Had he seen something? There was no need to not trust Justin, but Stefan couldn't quite believe that Elena would have bed intentions in coming to see Bonnie.

Stefan watched a school bus let of kids across the street.

"Stefan! Stefan!"

Turning, he saw a small petite blonde running towards him.

"Do…you know…how hard…it…is to…try to…catch you?" she said bent over trying to breathe

She sounded like she was having an asthma attack.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you say my name or anything." He said

He didn't hear much of anything really. He was kind of sucked into his own world and thoughts.

"It's okay." She said after she was able to breathe properly again "I was hoping we could talk, and catch up."

There was a gleam in her eye that Stefan didn't recognize so much. It was devious or something. Stefan ignored it and smiled.

"Sure." He said

He'd have both of best worlds.


	24. Among The Missing

It had been days and there had been no sign of Bonnie. Justin was seriously ready to start a search party while Meredith was prepared to go after Christian in thinking he'd kidnapped her. Elena on the other hand was trying to reassure Stefan and everybody that she was okay, and that she probably just wanted to get away. She was actually quite surprised that Bonnie would just up and disappear. She didn't think Bonnie would resort to drastic measures for backing off, but that gave her a chance to make things right. It would help if he wasn't so bent on trying to find her. Wasn't she important anymore?

He'd been staying over at Justin's a lot anyhow.

"You've searched everywhere." Elena said "Maybe…"

She paused.

"Maybe what?" Stefan asked curiously

"Maybe she doesn't want to be found." Elena said

Just huffed from the kitchen. She looked past Stefan and at him.

"You want to add something?" she asked

"Yes, I would. How about the fact that you don't seem the slightest bit worried. Any normal human being would be worried out of their mind." Justin said angrily "I can't believe you two were ever friends."

"You think I'm not worried?" she asked

"It doesn't matter what I think. It matters if Bonnie is okay being she's been stalked in the past few weeks by a vampire, and that she could be dead and there's no way we could find her." Justin said "I'm going to go. I can't just sit here."

Both Elena and Stefan watched him storm off and leave through the elevator.

"He's in love with her."

"He cares about her. I should go as well. I can't give up." Stefan said

"I'll go with." Elena offered

"No." Stefan said quickly "Just stay here in case someone calls."

"But-"

"Elena quit. Just stop okay? One of your old friends and my girlfriend is missing." He said

"So she's your girlfriend?" Elena asked

"Yes, why would you ask? You saw us together. Wh-" he stopped mid sentence "Elena did you say something?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused

"To Bonnie. Did you say something? Justin said that maybe-"

"You believe over me?" she interrupted

"No, I'm just asking." He said

"We talked and it didn't go well. I didn't know she'd do this." Elena said

"What do mean?"

"I just told her to back off a little. I didn't want her to jump into something she wasn't ready for."

"Ready for? Do you understand the fact that I want to be with her? Things have been so bad lately, you just don't understand. Just…don't talk to her about things you don't understand. You can't barge in on things like that." Stefan told her

Elena was taken aback by it all. He really cared for her…

Elena didn't understand. Taking in a staggering breath she sat down. There was no chance that she'd get him back. So much had happened, and yet they'd moved on. They'd moved on so much that they'd actually had a chance to make things right and got closer out of it. Elena never would've seen it happening. It seemed so wrong.

Stefan sighed. Moving for the door, he paused.

"Elena, we can't go back. It just…doesn't work like that." He said understanding what she wanted

He couldn't give that to her. He couldn't even look at her like that without thinking about Damon having to fight for her and then thinking about the ways she'd look at him. Stefan just shook his head.

"I have to go." He said

He couldn't deal with this. he couldn't deal with the fact that Justin was right. In the past few days he'd been with Elena looking around town while trying to fix his relationship with, and yet Elena wasn't even with him to look for her former friend. He felt stupid.

"No, wait." Elena pleaded

She grabbed Stefan by the arm as he pend the door. Stepping in his way, Elena stood on her tippy toes with her hands at his collarbone.

"Tell me you don't love me anymore." She whispered

He didn't say anything, because it was pointless, but as he went to remove her, she kissed him. Stefan froze right then and there as she moved her lips against his. He didn't move an inch.

* * *

><p>Bonnie looked around. Where was she? The place was an utter mess. She made her way over to what looked like a couch. The place did have a sense of familiarity. Looking around the messy room, Bonnie noticed a stuffed rabbit on the coffee table in front of her.<p>

"Mr. Paw, I knew I should've given you a better name." she muttered

She also saw other things that belonged to her. Her diary from her elementary years and even the dress she wore to homecoming which seemed so long ago. Everything here was hers. All of it. This whole house was filled with things that reminded her of good times and bad times. She wandered around the place and touched things. Some made her smile while others made her want to cry.

"A lot of memories you have here."

Bonnie turned abruptly and gulped. She took a few uneasy steps back.

"Careful, you might trip." He said

It overwhelmed her now and she started to cry.

"No, don't. Don't cry." He said

Bonnie fell to her knees and cradled her head in her hands.

"I'll killed you." She sobbed

"No." Damon said instantaneously "You only did what you had to."

"I didn't know." She said

"I know. It's okay, really. Please stop…now." He told her

She looked up at him.

"Why are you here?" she asked

"I could ask you the same thing. Memory lane isn't a place you usually travel down unless you've forgotten something."

"It's nothing I've forgotten."

"Then you can't let go…I figured that." He said as he picked her up effortlessly and set her on her two feet

"I don't know what's wrong. My boss lady just kind of touched me, and I fell." She explained "There's nothing wrong with me, and yet I'm talking to a dead vampire…"

Her realization came quickly. Bonnie stood with the intention of wanting to find a way out.

"Not so fast birdie." He said

He blocked her way out. She didn't try to side step him. It would've been pointless.

"If everything was fine you wouldn't be here. Speak or I'll force it out of you." He said

Bonnie took a step back shakily. He just chuckled at her. He even scared her now.

"Okay, fine. I'm insecure, not to mention being stalked sort of." She said

Damon squinted at her.

"Huh?"

"Okay, I haven't been…me or so I'm told." She said "I really don't want to talk about it. Don't force me to."

"Fine."

"It's just, I don't know. That lady told me I'm all blocked up." Bonnie said

Damon looked at her questioningly. She just shrugged.

"I haven't been using any of my power or whatever. I don't want to, so I just neglect it. I don't want it. It makes me a bad person." She said as her head hung, and she now stared at her shoes along with the clutter around them.

Damon's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her. He found it hard to believe that she could be so…depressing. She was always bouncy, but this was the problem. He was the problem. Damon took her hand and as he did her head shot up and looked at him and blinked blankly.

"You have to let go okay?" he told her

"No, I can't do that. I'm sorry." She pulled away and walked back to the living room

Damon followed her.

"I'm not telling you to forget me. I don't want to be forgotten. That'd be just rude. I'm telling that you need to trust yourself again, and to do that you have to let go of what happened." He told her

She turned to face him and gasped. There was blood everywhere on him and branches dug in and out of him. Bonnie clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle the scream in her throat. Damon held out his hand to her, and in an instant she took it. his other hand caressed her cheek.

"You have to. It'll be okay." He said quietly

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"I won't forget." She sobbed as she closed her eyes tightly

A bright light surrounded them and Bonnie struggled to hold on. Opening her eyes, she saw standing there smiling down at her no longer bloody or hurt. It was the image she remembered of him. She looked down at her hand where the bright white light resided and the fingers laced with hers. Damon smiled lightly at her. He actually smiled at her.

"I-I miss you." She sniffled

He smiled even more and began to let go. Bonnie cried even more and tried to hold tighter.

"No, please don't." she cried

He let go, and Bonnie to the floor. The light grew brighter and brighter. It engulfed her then all of the sudden she was sitting up panting heavily.

She wiped her cheeks as she looked around. She was now in the back room of the shop. It was only her. Bonnie wiped her forehead of the sweat from her dreaming. Was it dreaming? Could she call it that? She didn't know what it was. She ran a hand through her hair as she stood up. She still felt shaky. Half of the candles were out or melted. Slowly she walked from the back room. She felt nervous. Walking out to the shop front she saw Anica looking at the shelves. She didn't think it was her taking inventory. It was probably her just taking a look at what had decided to drop in.

"You wake. Good." Anica said without turning

"Yes." Bonnie said quietly as she leaned again the counter

"And the blockade?"

Bonnie just shrugged. She was still thinking about what she'd seen. Whatever kind of journey that was sucked. She didn't like it. It made her want to cry all over again. Her eyes were too tired though.

"Let's see." Anica said

Bonnie turned to see what she was talking about when suddenly she saw something shiny and sharp flying out her. Her hands moved to shield her face, but there was never any pain. Looking up, she gulped. A knife that seemed to be quite a few inches from her. Reaching out for it, she grabbed it from mid air where it was frozen.

Anica nodded and moved towards the back of the counter. Bonnie sat the knife on the counter.

"You just tried to kill me." She said blankly

"No, I tested you." She clarified

"How?"

"Well, you stopped it right? You are alive?"

"Yeah."

"Then you passed the test. Your shift is over. Go home." She told Bonnie

Bonnie stood there for a moment then turned and walked out of the shop. As she went to walk to the door she ran into someone.

"Sorry about that." He said quickly still rushing past her

Bonnie rubbed her shoulder and smirked at who it was. He didn't even seem to see her. Justin just rushed right up to the counter and started talking then stopped and looked back at her still standing in the doorway of the shop. Bonnie had an entertained look on her face. Justin grabbed her into a hug immediately. Bonnie grumbled in discomfort from how tight he squeezed

"Sorry. It's just that you've been gone for days. We thought you were dead." He said

"Days?"

Bonnie looked back at Anica who acted like she didn't hear either of them. She didn't get it. It felt like she'd laid down only hours ago.

"You're okay?" he asked

"Of course. I was just…I needed to figure things out is all." She said

"For this long? We thought you were dead or something."

"I'm very alive." she laughed

Justin nodded then hugged her again making her laugh even more.

"I like your laugh. Do it more often." He said when he let go

"I'll try." She said "Let's get out of here."

Justin agreed also saying that he was definitely cooking. Cooking happened to be big for him being he didn't like to. Bonnie wouldn't dare get in the way of not having to cook for once. She looked back briefly towards the back room.

"I won't forget…I promise." she said with a small smile

She walked out and caught up with Justin, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Bonnie reached for the amulet around her neck and took it off.

"Here. Wear this at all times." She said as she handed it to him "You need more than me."

Justin looked at it awkwardly then put it on.

"So what for dinner now?" she asked


	25. Having Felt Nothing

Stefan sat there in the dark of Bonnie's room. He hadn't actually left. He just left Elena there, and eventually she'd left. When he watched her go in tears no less. He felt guilt for not being able to return the feeling that she felt for him. He couldn't though. He didn't feel that way for her. He hadn't felt that way in a long while; he just hadn't completely realized it till she kissed him. She'd kissed him, and he felt nothing.

She had a small gas fireplace, it must've been installed during the weeks that she was moving in. it looked like it hadn't even been used. It just sat there. Slowly, he walked over and turned it on. He moved back to where he sat previously on the edge of the bed. His thoughts were blank as to what he'd tell Bonnie.

As if on cue to come in, he could hear talking. There was a female voice, Justin was ecstatic. Bonnie was home.

"So what was this whole journey of discovery about that it took you nearly two weeks?" Justin inquired

"I was having problems still, and she helped me get through them. I didn't think it'd be possible, but I'm…okay." Bonnie replied

She was okay. Stefan breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't move from his spot though. He just listened to their conversation, and the elevator coming up and Meredith walking in to join the meal. The two had actually hugged or rather Meredith hugged her, and she just hugged back slowly. He didn't move an inch. What would he say if he did go out and see her? Would hugging her be the same? Kissing her?

So he just sat there waiting for her. She talked more and told them about it all. She had only figured that she was out for a few hours. She asked about him, but neither of the two had an answer for her. They didn't know what to say. Bonnie only shrugged it off.

When she did retreat to her room to relax she paused slightly then smiled his way.

"Hiding?" she asked as she made her way over to him, then hugged him

She felt a little reluctance in the hug and looked back up at him questioningly. He just scratched his forehead and took a step back in the semi dark room. Bonnie could tell that there was something bothering him all too well.

"Something must be on your mind. Speak." She said

Stefan looked at her with regret.

"Elena-"

"I did not have a pleasant conversation with her, and I'm sorry if you worried. I just wanted to get some space to breathe and I just couldn't do that hanging around here." She said

"She kissed me." He blurted

Bonnie looked at him blankly for a few seconds. The seconds felt like hours to him. He wanted her to speak, to yell, to something.

"Okay…and?" she asked a little squeaky

He just shook his head no.

"I couldn't…your face was the only thing going through my mind. I was walking out the door to go look for you again. No one knew where you were, not even me."

"That's probably because Anica blocked out any chance for someone to disturb me." Bonnie said half thinking about it

"Anica?" he asked

"My boss." She informed him

"Oh, right." He said quietly

The space between them felt as if it were getting wider all of the sudden to him. He looked at her, and she looked as if she were just looking around the room. Then she just took a few steps toward him an closed the space between them.

"It's fine." She said shrugging "After what Elena had said to me I shouldn't be as surprised as I feel."

"Say? What did she say?" he asked

"She only said that she was going to get you back and that I stole you…if it happened…"

"It won't." he reassured her

"I would've stepped back like the little girl I am." She finished "I don't want to have to fight for something. I didn't know I was supposed to. I'm going to lose."

Stefan took her face in both hands and had her now looking directly at him.

"You're not fighting okay? You don't even have to." he said

She nodded lightly and pulled away.

"I'm tired." She said quietly and made her way over towards the bed

Stefan could feel her pulling away, but as she sat down on the bed ready to get under the covers she looked back at him.

"You don't have to sleep in the graveyard if you don't want." She said

She laid down. He heard her sigh deeply and moved to lie next to her. He laid on top of the covers. Bonnie reached back pulled his arm over her and held it close. He let out a deep breath and held her tight. She turned over and buried her face into his chest.

"Bonnie, I'm not going anywhere. She was the one that left." He said

She only nodded. Stefan lifted her chin so that he could see her face.

"Talk to me." He said quietly

"I saw him…he let me let go…" she said

Stefan's eyes closed, and he kissed her forehead. That's why she'd seemed not so focused when he'd told her. She'd been thinking about that. He only smiled at her and she returned one. He brushed her hair from her eyes like he'd done a few times before then lightly kissed her. That's when he felt it. He knew that she had to have felt it too, because the kiss grew more intense. His hand lingered at the back of her neck and moved down to hold her closer.

Bonnie had that feeling again, and she was glad that there was something separating them. Even more, she couldn't figure out why she wasn't angry with him. He kissed Elena or rather the other way around. That meant something right? She ignored the questions gnawing at her mind as his tongue traced her bottom lip seeking something more. Bonnie's eyes closed as she felt his tongue moving against her own. Was it bad that she thought he tasted good? She couldn't complain and any thoughts she had were long gone and replaced with him. He pulled away after a while, his forehead against hers.

"We don't have to move so fast." He breathed

"Like you did?" she said

He chuckled lightly and kissed her again. The spot in Bonnie's stomach that was driving her to want to do things made her dizzy. Stefan pulled away again and looked around.

"Uh, Bonnie?"

She looked around and noticed that they weren't exactly on the bed anymore, but somewhere else. The room was more elegant, and she gasped. They floated about one foot off the bed, and they quickly dropped causing them both to yell. The image around them faded, and her room came back. Bonnie sat up and did a double take of the room.

"What just happened?" he asked

"I think I forgot to tell you that I have my power back."

"Yeah, you forgot." He said

"Oh…sorry…I haven't exactly used it." she said "I didn't mean to do all that."

Stefan grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back over towards him making her squeal.

"Not fair Salvatore!"

"Oh, so now you yell at me." He said

She continued laughing as she felt him kiss her neck. He made it too difficult to be mad anyways.


	26. You Didn't Forget About Me Did You?

It was safe to say that she had slept pretty good that night. She shouldn't have after finding out that Elena was going to do what she did, and she knew that she was going to. She couldn't explain it, but she just knew. It was common sense mixed with intuition or something like that. Elena always had this way of doing things drastically.

Bonnie sighed lightly as she opened her eyes. The room was still dark. She was glad that the curtains were pulled so that barely any light drifted in. The only light that did was from the silk curtains that out to the balcony where there was a light breeze. There were even curtains to cover the skylight. She could feel his chest rise beneath her hand. He didn't need to breathe, and she knew that, but maybe it was just a reflex. He was doing it for the eighteen years that he was actually living. He looked peaceful for what she could see in the dark through her groggy eyes.

"Sateing is rude." Stefan grumbled

She felt the rumble through his chest.

"I couldn't help it. I still tend to think that I'm dreaming from time to time." She said

"This one of those times?"

"Possibly." She smiled "I don't mind."

"Hm," he groaned as he turned over so that he was now facing her "I could make it an even better dream."

"I'm sure, but-"

"But…you have too many." He yawned

Bonnie sat up and ruffled her hair. She looked around the room like she always did when she woke up. Today felt…different. She felt better and it was like she was sick for long and she didn't feel that way no more. Stefan sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

"Your hair is losing its curl. It's making you look rather small." He chuckled

Bonnie elbowed him in the stomach. She knew it wouldn't do much if anything to him, but she always hoped. She'd gotten the perm to try to look taller, but apparently it was fruitless in that endeavor.

"That remark to my height was evil." She said still shocked

She got up, but as soon as she did, she was grabbed and pulled back. Stefan didn't say anything he just held me and after a few minutes Bonnie rolled her eyes. He was going back to sleep.

"You may be adorable when you sleep, but I am not no teddy bear." She said as she peeled back his arm around her waist

"Yes you are. You're mine." He said sounding all proud

"You sound so sure." She said

"I'm very sure. I have you don't I?" he said

"Possibly."

His eyes shot opened, and Bonnie fought the urge to laugh. His face was shocked. It actually looked shocked and it was funny.

"Possibly?"

Bonnie just twitched her eyebrows and got up once again. This time it was more successful.

"It's not like we've been at this for very long." She said "The most we've seen is my bedroom, and not even in the perverted sense."

He mouthed the word 'perverted' to himself. Then suddenly he was beside Bonnie who was sitting at her vanity table brushing her hair. He was right. It was long past her shoulders now. He laid his hands on her shoulders. Bonnie's eyes closed for half a second.

"You want…" he started

Bonnie shook her head quickly.

"I'm not saying that." She said "I'm just saying that we can't stay stuck up in here."

"But we haven't been. We've been in the graveyard."

"Yes…that's a great place to have a date." She said

"The bowling alley." He tried again

"A sport I suck at…yeah." She said

Then shaking her head she shrugged from his hands and stood.

"It doesn't matter anyways. Maybe it's better that way. Things tend to happen when stuff goes public." Bonnie said

She made her way over to the closet and picked out clothes for the day then moved behind the divider and discarded the clothes she slept in and put on the clean clothes. Afterwards she moves for her door, but Stefan blocked it.

She put her hands on her hips right then.

"Stefan, I just got my power back in full swing. Don't make me use it." she said

He scoffed at her.

"Such attitude." He commented

Bonnie just gave him a defiant look. She knew how hard it was to stand up to a Salvatore. Damon was proof of that. But if she could stand up to Damon, not that she ever did a good job of it, then she could do it here. Stefan took a step towards her. He slowly closed the space between them taunting her. She didn't budge. She didn't even budge when his hands overlapped hers on her hips.

"You don't scare me." He said flatly

"Yeah?" she tried to steady her voice "Well…you scare the crap out of me."

His hand moved up her side to her neck, and he leaned in even closer. Bonnie could feel the electricity in the inches between them.

"Good. I've at least accomplished something with you. You're so complicated." He mumbled

His breathe touched her lips and unwillingly her heart rate sped up. Who was taunting who now? Bonnie turned her head away and moved around him for the door. She let out the breath she'd been holding in as she walked out into the main room. She could hear Justin snoring from up the stairs and smirked.

Stefan followed her and grabbed her by the arm and spun her to face him. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted to touch her. He loved being able to brush his fingers across hers or even his lips across hers. To hold her was complete comfort. Bonnie looked at him then put a finger to her lips signaling him to be quiet. He looked at her through slits. She was being ever so teasing. He pulled her forward.

"You just wait till tonight then." He whispered

Then like that he was gone. She didn't even get a chance to say anything. What would she have said anyway? Freaking cryptic vampire, she thought to herself.

Bonnie moved over towards the kitchen where the phone was hanging p on the wall. She needed to call Meredith. She only reached her voicemail though. She tried again and still it was only a voicemail.

"Okay then." Bonnie muttered to herself

She grabbed an apple before leaving for work. It wasn't that she was particularly hungry, but she had to have something. And she wanted to think that work would be interesting, but she just sat behind the counter and sat on the same old stool and read an old book while the usual customers came in and out. Her boss went out and came back at the normal odd hours. Bonnie learned not to expect her to be back at a decent time. So Bonnie looked around at the inventory and took a few things that caught her attention. By the time Anica did return, she was ready to go home. Anica dismissed her and Bonnie just shook her head as she waved goodbye to the small woman who looked exhausted.

The way home was quiet and she wondered if she'd get attacked at all. There were people out on the streets walking home as well she assumed, so she was technically alone, but last time it didn't work out to well for her. She'd nearly had nasty things done to her. She'd be better prepared this time…maybe.

Bonnie's thought started getting paranoid. She'd look around nervously.

"Geez, you know how to scare yourself." She muttered to herself.

Out of nowhere she was grabbed and yanked to the side. She didn't even see it coming let alone have time to scream. As she was getting ready to a hand was clasped over her mouth.

"You better not do some weird witchy thing." A loud whisper in her ear.

Bonnie gulped.

"This has to be a good night." he told her

Bonnie instantly relaxed realizing who it was. He wasn't letting go of her though. if anything he was holding onto her more tightly.

"Close your eyes." He told her.

Bonnie obeyed even though she felt nervous. What was he up to?

"Open." He told her

Bonnie didn't open her eyes. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

"C'mon, just open them." He chuckled

Bonnie opened her eyes and froze. She sat down right where she stood as she took in her surroundings. She sat there in a field. The grass was high and yellowing while the moon shined down over. There was a tree not far off. She just sat there though. Stefan looked down at her.

"You okay?" he asked

"It's quiet here…" she trailed off

A small smile graced her lips. Stefan took a seat beside her.

"I figured getting away from everything for a while would be nice." He said

Bonnie leaned her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. They sat there quietly for what felt like hours. Stefan would speak and she would just listen. Eventually she just laid back. He joined her, and she just snuggled closer to him. They were able to escape. It was perfect for her. It seemed so…normal. Nobody in the world had to know that they existed right now.

He kissed her forehead. She looked at him. He stared at her, and she got the feeling that he'd been staring at her for a while.

"Thank you." She said

"And you thought I was some sort of mugger. He said

Bonnie rolled her eyes and sat up. He really could ruin it if he wanted to. She stood and looked down at him.

"You're lucky." She said "Things tend to happen when I'm scared."

She started to walk towards the tree. It was probably no farther than a few yards. She could hear Stefan following after her. She was trying to get away and he was trying to get closer. Did he not get the fact that it wasn't funny? She was glad that he wasn't in her mind though. She looked up at the star filled sky as she got closer to the tree.

"Bad things?" he asked

"Sometimes." She answered

Stefan grabbed a hold of her around the waist. She turned in his arms as her back came in contact with the tree. The whole butterfly feeling coming back. Only it wasn't just in her stomach this time. It was there from head to toe. He didn't have to reach far as he caressed her cheek. She leaned into it. His touch was addicting. She wanted to feel it.

Stefan was mesmerized by the paleness of her skin in the light. How she seemed so content with it. Her eyes were closed as he moved to kiss her. Her lips were soft.

Bonnie's arms wound his neck as if it were and automatic reflex. He pressed against her, and her back was now somewhat uncomfortably firmly against the tree trunk. Stefan could feel her body heat through her clothes. She was warm and her heart was racing.

Bonnie's lips parted to breathe and she felt his tongue tracing the inside of her mouth. The need felt so unbearable as it had before. There just wasn't any way to have it interrupted now. Her legs were only a little apart, but she felt his leg there parting them even more. It grew even more intense as he pressed her even more against the tree and his lips moved down her neck. A slight moan escaped her lips as her fingers moved through his hair. She didn't know what exactly was happening, but she didn't want to stop. It made her stomach ache and yet she could his hands moving against her body in such a way that it made it worse. Would it end?

Their lips made sudden contact again and it was like fire. This fire tasted good. His hand had moved up underneath the hem of her shirt and yet the cold touch wasn't anywhere close to cooling her heated skin. Her breathing grew ragged, and his hands moved further.

Bonnie jolted next when she felt her pocket vibrate. It only tickled her skin.

"Don't answer it." Stefan breathed

"I-I have to…"

It took her another moment to break away from him. She shakily pulled out her phone.

"H-hello?" she said clearing her throat

Stefan groaned painfully behind her. Bonnie smirked at it.

"You know I called for a second opinion. I came to visit my sister and now I can't deicde if I should kill her or not."

"No." Bonnie breathed upon hearing Christian's dark cold voice.

"Oh Bonnie, did you seriously forget about me? I certainly haven't forgotten you."

The phone went dead; the only thing to be heard was a dial tone.


	27. Girl Interrupted

The phone slipped from her fingers, and it was all like slow motion. She watched as it slipped from her fingers.

"I have to go." Bonnie said blankly

Stefan had caught her phone before it hit the ground, and when he looked up she was gone. She'd completely vanished from sight.

Bonnie had appeared out front of her building. She looked around confused. She didn't know how she did it, but she was there. There were no stars above now. They were covered by clouds that rumbled. She didn't debate it any further than she had to. She ran inside and didn't stop to wait for the elevator. She ran up the length of stairs and through her door where she froze right quick. Justin had his shotgun in hand, and it was pointed at someone else. That someone else being Christian who was trying to dig something out of his shoulder.

"You really should keep a handle on your friends Bonnie." Justin said as a wooden piece thudded to the floor. "He shot me."

"Good." Bonnie said

Her blood was boiling. Justin smirked at the comment a cocked his gun.

"Though next time you should aim for the heart." Bonnie added

Christian turned on Bonnie.

"You kill me, and you'll never see Meredith again."

"What makes you so sure I won't be able to?" Bonnie challenged

He grinned in an evil manner. He was expecting something from her. Did he know? He must've been following her. Christian turned back towards Justin a bared his fangs at him. Justin aimed the gun at him. Bonnie stepped in between both of them before anything could happen.

"Always sacrificial." Christian said sarcastically

"No, I would just like Justin to use those bullets on something that's worth the bloodshed." Bonnie said

Justin put down the shotgun, but didn't take his hand off of it. Bonnie noticed the necklace she'd handed him glowing faintly. It was like it knew he was in danger. She turned back to Christian.

"Get out of my house." Bonnie ordered

Christian snarled and took reluctant steps towards the door. When he reached the threshold he just stood there.

"You can't get rid of me." He hissed "It's not that easy."

"Yeah, it is. I'll find Meredith, so until then you might want to find a way out of town."Bonnie said

"She's dead."

Bonnie froze at the icy words.

"No, she's not."

"You seem so sure."

"Yeah, well, if you have any intent on trying to get me then you won't kill her. It's that whole leverage thing."

He smirked.

"You're a smart girl Bonnie. I nearly forgot why I want you so bad."

"Oh?"

"You're attitude and determination to save everyone else. It's sad really. Who'll save you?" he said

He started down the hall.

"Wait what?" she called

Christian just continued to talk to himself and ramble about her.

"Hey!" she called

He was gone, and she was now confused with his intrusion. Plus, her friend…could she call her that, was missing. Bonnie closed the door and turned to see Justin slowly making his way to the couch. He looked a little pained. Bonnie walked over and sat with him.

"That…asshole really needs to die." Justin said

"He's already dead." Bonnie said

Justin nudged her. She laughed a little.

"So where were you, that you came home so quickly?" he asked "It's like you knew something was going on."

"Actually, I didn't know. I just got a call about him having a hold of Meredith. Next thing I know, I'm wanting to get here to see if it was a bluff." She gestured around the place

"I want to know how he even got in. I thought there was that whole 'you have to be invited' kind of thing."

Bonnie bit the inside of her cheek remembering the days she'd been held up in her room, because Stefan had compelled her to tell him everything. It had been that night that she'd invited him in and almost died.

"He was invited." She sighed

"Oh you didn't." Justin said in disbelief.

Bonnie didn't say anything. She looked at the crystal ball on the coffee table. She figured Justin would've started ranting, but he didn't he just sat there. It was like he didn't much care. Why didn't he care?

"At least he'd gone now." Justin said "The next time he tries to get in I'm going to put a bullet in his head."

"I don't think that does anything, but give a headache."

"Fine, the heart." He said

Bonnie nodded. She leaned over and laid her head on Justin's shoulder thinking about how her date with Stefan got totally screwed over. It was so peaceful and in the middle of nowhere where they couldn't be interrupted, yet they were. She wondered if he'd be mad at her for disappearing the way she had. She knew that they'd been in the middle of something. Justin winced a little, and she quickly lifted her head.

"He shoved me around a bit." He said

"Maybe I can help." She said

She touched his shoulder and then Justin just jumped. She felt the power run through his shoulder though.

"Sorry." She said

"No, It's," he rolled his shoulder "fine."

He rolled it some more then smiled. Bonnie took it that it didn't hurt so much anymore. She watched him revel in it.

"You're amazing." he said "I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital." He said "I think I like you being a witch."

"Wait, you didn't before?" Bonnie asked with a scrunched up face.

"Well, it was nerve racking being you were really emotional before, and I wasn't sure if that'd effect your-"

"Power?" she finished for him

"Yeah."

"You'd be right on some level, but it's why it got blocked away." She explained

He nodded understanding her. Bonnie sat there with the past few hours running through her head. It started out nice, she thought. She yawned then and blinked tiredly.

"Well, I'm tired, I guess. I'm going to bed." She said

Truth be told she wasn't tired. So, she'd more than likely be up all night. Joy. The thought was sarcastic. She closed the door behind her and shook off her shoes. Then jumped up on her bed and just stood there. She was half tempted to start jumping on it. It made her laugh. Instead her legs just caved and she plopped down on the soft bed. She laid back and stared at the ceiling. She thought about the hundreds of stars she'd seen tonight before Christian. Tomorrow would be interesting. She was going to have to tap into some inner power she wasn't sure she had. That was for tomorrow. There were still a few hours before today was over. Bonnie reached into her pocket for her phone and huffed.

"Crap." She said

Bonnie covered her face and groaned.

"Forget something?" a curious voice asked

Bonnie looked over through her fingers. Stefan stood by the door out to the balcony. Of course he'd make an interesting entrance, she thought to herself. He held up her phone then set it down. He just stayed where he was. That was probably better anyways. Bonnie rolled over and pulled her hands away.

"Sorry." She said cowering a little.

"What happened?" he asked

"Someone threatened someone-"

"And now you had to save the day." He finished

"The day hasn't been saved just yet." She said "It's getting there though."

Bonnie got up and walked over to him and like it was the most natural thing in the world she wrappd her arms around his waist hugging him.

"Sorry." She said again

Stefan smirked.

"Emergencies allow you to bale. It's fine."

Bonnie smiled lightly as she felt him kiss the top of her head. When she pulled away she moved back towards her bed. Now she was starting to feel tired. She heard stefa following behind and stopped him.

"If tonight is going to be as good as it was then you have to be the gentleman." She said

The words were harder to get out than she thought. She didn't want him to go, but it was the right thing.

"Tonight was interrupted, so does it really count?" he asked

"Yes, tonight was a very good night for me, and that's a lot for me to say with the breaking and entering of a vampire."

Stefan gestured at himself questioningly. Bonnie shook her head no.

"A different one." She said

"Oh." He said "Fine."

He kissed her gently on the lips knowing it would drive her as crazy as it would him then left without a word.

"You're evil. You're worse than your brother." She scathed

Stefan chuckled on the ground floor upon hearing her. He walked across the road towards his usual place of residence in the cemetery. The irony was enough to drive him insane. He didn't stay there forever though. At 12:01 he climbed back through her window and saw her sprawled over her bed under the large covers. It was hard to tell at first till she moved. He took a seat in the comfy chair in the corner opposite her closet. She'd left tonight, because of a past problem that wouldn't be led to rest. It wasn't him this time. She was trying to so hard to shake it and he wouldn't go. Stefan knew that she didn't want to have to resort to killing him.

Stefan saw her toss and turn. Eventually he stood and moved over to sit on the edge of her bed. He brushed away a few strands of her hair. He could tell that she subconsciously knew he was there being she'd lightly reached for his hand. She exhaled deeply. Stefan leaned down; his face not even an inch from her peaceful sleeping one. It was her.

Lightly he pressed his lips to hers. She didn't resist. She felt herself slowly waking up to it. It was like a caffeine addiction. He felt her small hand on his chest. He wished she could feel a heartbeat. She pulled him down so that he was no longer just sitting beside her. She'd been afraid to be honest. She'd go far, and it was different. It wasn't pushy; it was enough to make her want more. Would he bite her though? If she did this, would he do that to her? There was only one way she'd know, and she wanted to know so badly. Did he? Would he be the one to stop? Her fingers intertwined with his as her other fingers moved to remove his jacket. She closed her eyes to fight off the tears.


	28. Morning After

Bonnie turned over and clung the covers to her small form. A chill fell across her as an arm wound around her and held her close. He was cold, but the chill wasn't because of that. It was only from a simple touch. It made her stomach flutter. She took his arm and hugged it tighter around her. The night had been long and, she certainly hadn't expected it to be the way it was. She could feel his light breathing on her neck.

"I did not expect last night." He mumbled still half asleep.

They were both extremely tired and exhausted. Bonnie kept her silence as he hugged her closer. He hadn't bit her either. At first she thought it was strange, but then couldn't complain. No hickey was a good hickey. Especially since she didn't have to get interrogated over it.

"Good or bad?" Bonnie asked

She hadn't really slept yet. Neither of them had. He smiled as he took a deep breath then kissed the back of her neck. She giggled lightly at the tickle. It turned into a light groan.

"You can't do that." She said barely able to make a noise.

His hands moved down the softness of her side and laid at her hip. How could he not touch her? It was like her skin was vibrating under his touch. Bonnie moved to get up even though she didn't want to. she didn't have work today, but that didn't mean she could lay there all day. It would make her roommate wonder if she was even alive.

"Mmmmm don't go." Stefan groaned.

"I have to, and so do you. You have to feed before you eat someone you're not supposed to." she said as she moved to grab her robe hanging on the wall divider then wrapped it around herself.

She heard him growl under his breath from his futile attempt to keep her with him. She saw him rub his eyes from the reflection of the vanity mirror. She could swear his cheeks were full of color. She smirked to herself and started getting dressed in her clothes from the day before. By the time she was done Stefan was still lying there in her bed. She'd never seen such a sight. The made his bare chest look paler than ivory. He'd caught getting lost as she stared at him and held his arms to welcome her back over. She begrudgingly moved over to him as if he were a siren call.

He kissed her lightly at first then rolled over on top of her, so she was trapped. She squealed as he did; one arm wrapped around his neck, and the other splayed on his chest.

"I have to get up." She said in between kisses.

"Uh-uh." He disagreed.

"Mhm." She smiled against his lips.

Then she started to squeeze from the tight space he had her in even though he had and arm around her. She got up and moved to the door. She paused for a minute and looked back at him. He looked at her with raised eyebrows. She just shook her head at his sly expression. Then turned and left him there.

She was surprised when she saw that Justin was nowhere to be found. Did he have a day shift? Bonnie followed the smell of coffee from the kitchen. When she took her first sip Stefan came out of her room. He was still straightening himself out. She took pleasure in watching. It wasn't as if there were anything preventing it, and she certainly didn't feel guilty.

He didn't say anything. He just smiled at what he saw then left. It was the quiet goodbye. He knew that if he'd gone over there to kiss her goodbye that he wouldn't want to go. He took the elevator. The night before flashed before his eyes. It had him distracted, and it didn't bother him one bit.

Bonnie relaxed for a few extra minutes then moved over to the couch where the crystal ball that Justin insisted on getting, because he's weird, sat on the coffee table. She wasn't all entirely sure on how to use it, but she had once before without realizing it. She'd seen the expectance of Christian on his first appearance here. She looked at it hoping to trance. If she tranced then maybe she could use it to find Meredith. She was doing it all on a whim, so she couldn't be totally sure. She set her coffee down and looked into it intently hoping that she could get this to work. She'd never really tranced on purpose, not that she could remember anyway. Then suddenly something moved, not beside her, but in the glass of the ball. There was movement and struggling. Her brows furrowed as she dug deeper. An image appeared slowly and fuzzily became clearer. She saw Meredith, and she was struggling as she was bound to a chair in ropes. The room was empty…wait, it wasn't a room. The walls were concrete. She was in a-

There was a sudden rush of noise signifying that the elevator was opening. She blinked rapidly and shook her head. Getting up, she moved to go greet who she figured was Stefan who might've forgotten something. When it opened her mind was completely wiped blanked and she seemed tranced, but by something else. She just couldn't make herself look away even though she really wanted to.

* * *

><p>Stefan had every intention of heading back to the loft. Sure, he didn't live there, but he sure spent most of his time there. It was her that had him there a lot. It made him like the way he spent his time. It wasn't useless. It was actually worth it.<p>

He was full now. Over full if anything and it surprising that he felt no hunger. Could it be that something else preoccupied it? He made his way back towards the loft where he was sure that Bonnie was trying to find a way to find Meredith. Justin was at a day shift at the bar as usual. Stefan hadn't even thought about the circle of people that surrounded him now. Well, it was sort of a circle. There was Bonnie, Meredith, Justin, and even Christian. Christian…Christian was difficult, but maybe he was still living in his teenage years. His years of wanting to be selfish. Taking what didn't want to be taken. Maybe he'd learn and maybe he wouldn't. Matt was here, but not really. It was easy to tell that he wanted to escape this. He wasn't going to return. It was just that feeling and after what had happened with Elena, he was sure that she wasn't either. She was so hurt. Of course he didn't want her to get hurt, but he did want to hurt Bonnie either. Things just happened and this was how the pieces laid out. He should've felt ashamed about being with his ex's best friend ore rather ex best friend, which he'd found out only from the way Elena spoke when she had been around, but he wasn't. He actually liked it. There was no shame to be found. It was hard in the beginning to find out where they stood, and he felt like letting her clean her own mess, but then found out that she wouldn't have been able to do. He took his time getting upstairs when he returned to the building. He knew that he'd need to be there when she found Meredith. She wouldn't be able to do all on her own. Christian did want her after all.

As he kept going he started to notice something familiar. It was a scent. How did he know it? He paused for a second then started rushing up the stairs at a speed unnatural for anyone. As he reached the door it flung open. Bonnie stood at the door with a blank look on her face. She was blocking his way in. something didn't seem right.

"Bonnie," he said "Everything okay?"

He was uncertain. She blocked the doorway.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." She said sounding a little delayed.

Something was wrong. He knew it. The sudden overwhelming sense of happiness that had been upon her face earlier was gone. it was like she didn't seem to feel anything or so it looked. She was blank of expression and even emotion.

"No…" Stefan breathed

Then as if it were slow motion hitting him all of the sudden. He saw someone rounding around Bonnie with an arm around her shoulder. It was Christian. He smiled at Bonnie then at Stefan.

"Sorry Stefan, but your unwelcome here." Bonnie said blankly

"Oh don't be sorry to this vampire. It's only trying to play human." Christian said

He turned Bonnie's head so that she had eye contact with him.

"Now close the door." Christian said compelling her.

She nodded and did so.

"NO!" Stefan yelled at the top of his lungs. "Bonnie!"

His eyes closed in anger. When he opened them he saw something on the floor. It looked like a crumpled piece of paper. He grabbed it and unraveled it. In an instant he was gone.


	29. Down In The Mausoleum

**Thank you for the reviews. I actually didn't expect the story to be this long. Here is the next chapter though and I hope you all enjoy.**

The piece of paper was still clutched in Stefan's hand as he ran through the gates of the cemetery across the road. He stopped momentarily searching for a heartbeat. He looked down at the piece of paper in his hand again.

_Mausoleum_

It was only one word. It was Bonnie's hand writing though. Trying even harder to hear he caught the slightest thump. It was deep in the cemetery. He looked back up at the balcony to Bonnie's room briefly. Then he turned and ran into the place of the dead. The repetitive thumping got stronger as he kept going. He stopped in front of a large mausoleum. The doors were locked, but it didn't keep him out. He rushed down the spiral stairs. They seemed to go down pretty far and even when he reached the bottom all he was faced with was a hallway. It was dark, yet he could see perfectly. The place reeked of the dead. Not that far down he could hear struggling and muffled screaming. He slammed through the door he knew she was behind.

Meredith fell over suddenly while screaming. She'd jumped while trying to find a way to get loose and fell over. Stefan hurried to her side and took the duct tape that was on her mouth off.

"Get me out of here! You have to get to Bonnie! It's a trap." She rambled on

"I know." He told her as he moved behind her and untied her bindings. "He's already compelled her and gotten her to uninvited me."

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You get to go inside and try to snap her out of it." he said

He helped her up, and she ran out of the room. He followed behind her. She was running out of the graveyard when he grabbed her by the arm and stopped her.

"Let go." She snapped

"You're going to run in there without a plan." Stefan said

"I have a plan." She said

"Which is?"

"Go in there and kill my brother." She said fiercely

"Yes, that is such a good plan. Do you plan on dying yourself?" he asked sarcastically

"Look, I have to make sure he doesn't kill someone and if that means he has to die and I might be joining him in the process then fine. He's my family Stefan. You should know a little bit about that." She said

"Then don't kill him."

"But Bonnie…" she trailed off "He'll try to change her if he hasn't already."

"He won't. There's something valuable about her." he said

Meredith sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She had actually thought about it. Stefan didn't realize it till now. She must've been thinking about it since she was put in that place. She took off again and didn't even bother to look for traffic. She just made her way up to the loft shoving people out of the way. She rushed up the stairs too. When she reached the door she didn't stop. Stefan on the other hand did. He couldn't go in even if he wanted to.

Meredith stopped dead when she saw Christian just sitting there beside her. They were talking, and he wasn't attacking her. Bonnie's face was completely blank of any emotion. She then leaned into him and just laid her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"She's not in love with me. Even when I force her, she's not in love." Christian said quietly

Meredith didn't say a word. She just stared at the two of them.

"I'm never going to be good enough am I?"

Meredith slid to the floor. She looked at her brother deeply. She couldn't kill him. She knew long before any of this that she couldn't, but she hoped that when she found him she'd be able to.

Stefan could hear every word. The guy was more demented than his own brother…well, he was getting there.

Christian stood and as he did Bonnie kept a hold of his hand. She gave him that doe eyed look he'd compelled her to give. He looked down at her and exhaled deeply. He put his hand under her chin to lift it a little higher so her eyes met his.

"You're not in love with me…you never were. I was just there in your time of grieving." He said "I'm sorry."

He sounded sad when he said it. Bonnie blinked rapidly and looked around. She remembered everything that had happened which was why she'd jumped from the couch and put quite a bit of space between her and him. She gulped uneasily. Christian shook his head.

"You were just so fragile. I wanted to protect you. For you to be mine. I just wanted you." He said

"You had a messed up way of showing it." Bonnie mumbled "Please tell you're out there Stefan."

"He's there." Christian said

"What did you make me do?" Bonnie asked

Christian lowered his head. He wasn't going to tell her. Was he so displeased?

"I'm sorry." Bonnie squeaked

Christian looked up at her alarmed.

"I was naïve to think anything could fix what I was dealing with." She continued

Christian took a step toward her. She didn't shy away. She seemed too deep in thought. Meredith was distracted as it was. They were so calm about it. Meredith stared blankly into space. Her birth right depended on her killing things like her brother, but…it was her brother. Her twin no less. She just couldn't. She felt tears flood her eyes, but didn't stop them.

"Stefan…could you come in here?" Bonnie asked

He could hear the real question in it. It was his way back in. she was unsure as to whether he'd take it though. She wasn't sure if he'd bring up what happened in the past again. Stefan walked into the room one step at a time. He stopped in the door way though. Everyone was in different parts of the large room that made up the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Meredith sat back on the floor beside Bonnie's bedroom door. Christian was sunk into the couch. Bonnie had shrunken back towards the kitchen and was sitting in one of the bar stools at the counter.

They were all quiet. The tension and confusion and despair had them all sucked inside. Stefan had thought that the second he was allowed into the loft that he'd throw Christian out the window. He couldn't now. He looked at Christian and it was sad and pathetic.

"What the hell?" Justin exclaimed as he walked in.

No one moved. No one even made a noise. They just stared at Justin blankly who'd quickly grabbed for the shotgun he'd left by the couch and now aimed at Christian. Christian looked up at Justin then stood.

"Go ahead." Christian said "I've got it coming right?"


	30. So Much Empathy

**Okay, I would love to apologize deeply about the delay. I hated waiting so long, but moving into a dorm room and such in college and going through the first week is long and tiring. Here it is though. I and so sorry, really, I am. I feel stupid for this. I do hope you like it though.**

Justin stood there with the barrel of the shotgun staring straight at Christian. Nobody moved. Nobody even flinched. They all just looked up as if too tired. It was all too tiring. Christian just stared at him. It wasn't cold or cruel. It was broken. It was sad and pitiful. Justin lowered the gun, but didn't drop it. He kept it clutched in his hands. He stared over at Bonnie who silently cried, and Stefan who had his arms crossed over his chest. He seemed to be thinking deeply. Then after a few minutes he stepped over to her and put his arms around her.

Christian stared at the floor. It was as if there was something there catching his eye like a distraction. Justin looked back at the other form on the floor that was Meredith. She was like stone. She didn't move an inch. It didn't even look like she was breathing.

Justin sat down on the couch and eventually Christian sat beside him. Justin didn't budge. He just glanced at the vampire beside him then looked straight ahead feeling completely confused. No one seemed to be in their body at the moment. They seemed to be so far away.

Everyone jumped when she spoke. Her voice was tiny yet it sounded so loud in the absolute silent room.

"Don't kill him. He's pathetic enough." Bonnie said "Maybe he'll grow out of it."

Bonnie then pulled away from Stefan and looked at Christian. He looked only like a little boy now. A little boy who didn't get what he wanted and was now sulking. Had she ever looked like that? The little girl who sulked in a corner? A girl who'd stood in the corner being no one ever looked her way. She let it all pass her till finally someone stopped and looked at her and noticed her.

Bonnie shook her head and looked up at Stefan. She wondered if he was mad at her. It was the first time she wished that she could read minds. It wasn't exactly something on the witch's guide. That is if there was one and such. Maybe if she just tried, because she knew about the special bond between Stefan and Elena. They had that whole mind connection and maybe that was fate. Maybe the two of them would never have that and she'd never know. But then suddenly there was something else that she felt…felt was the key word being it wasn't heard. It was a completely different sense. She looked down as if she was expecting it to pop out somewhere. Stefan looked at her quizzically. He didn't understand what she looked slightly panicked about. She stood up though and looked at him intently.

She even reached out and touched him, and it grew even stronger like a wave washing over her completely. She let go then moved over to Justin who was also looking at her strangely now. Bonnie just ignored it and touched him too. He was different. It was as if he was completely confused and distraught and worried, but she also felt love. It was strange, because it was compassionate yet intimate. It made her hug him tightly. She'd never felt something so strong like that not to mention it was divine to know he cared so much. She would've never guessed with how he was. He was well guarded, but she never knew it was that good. Bonnie moved over to Meredith next, and she raised her head to look up at Bonnie who crouched down to cup Meredith's face in her small hands. Tears streaked down Bonnie's cheeks. There was so much guilt.

"I didn't want any of this…I was never mad," Meredith squeaked after sniffling a little "I just wanted you to be safe. I didn't want anything to happen, and I'm so sorry."

Bonnie didn't understand. Then it was like those light bulbs she seemed to get every once in a while. It was everything that had happened between her and Christian. Bonnie scoffed and shook her head. She didn't understand how Meredith felt that it was her fault, but she didn't even want to try to think about it. Meredith was always the smart who never had anything to feel sorry about, because of how smart she was and how she handled it. Bonnie only shook her head.

"Don't. I made those choices. I made them hoping what I was feeling would go away or maybe be replaced by something else. It was never your fault. I put my own life in danger. It was my choice." Bonnie said

She had to think about the words that just came out of her mouth, because she wasn't sure if she actually said it. It sounded so mature. She wasn't if she had ever sounded like that. Bonnie stood and looked at Christian now. She didn't walk to him or touch him. She just stared. There was emptiness in him.

"Oh." She said quietly to her own thoughts.

All he wanted was someone to fill the void. It wasn't her though. It never was. Maybe she'd filled it for a little while, but it wasn't meant to last. She looked around now. From person to person. It was all flooding her making her feel so many different things.

"I need to breathe." She said suddenly realizing that she'd not been. She'd been so focused on all of the emotions. She turned and walked into her room and fell on her bed as she felt it all fade very slowly. This would be something she knew she'd need to gain control for. She looked up at the ceiling and saw that once again she was watching the sun rays across the sky. The curtains had been pushed away so she could see the sky. The sky looked like a mixture of color. She couldn't even decide. She even thought about counting them.

The door opened though, but that wasn't what made her shoot upright. It was that sudden wave again. Her heart sped up. She saw Stefan closing the door quietly. She couldn't get herself to move, and she wanted to. Her heart pounded hard as they just stared at each other from a distance.

"I…" she started unsure of how to exactly say the words "I can feel you."

"I don't understand." He said after a few seconds.

Bonnie stood up slowly and made her way to him. With each step it got stronger. It felt as if it were killing her, yet at the same time is was overwhelming how he felt at this very moment. She didn't know it was how he felt. It was so much better than knowing what he was thinking as well.

She stood only a few centimeters from him now and her eyes fell over him lazily as she touched his chest and sucked in a deep breath. It was strong and protective and caring and wild and…loving. It was nothing she'd felt before. Well, she had felt it before, but not like this. it made her want to lose control, and it was bad enough that she barely had any. Stefan reached to caress her cheek and as he did she leaned into it and shuddered. It was all so overwhelming.

"I can feel it all…" she trailed off unaware of how close she started to get. His hand moved through her hair so that his fingers were tangled in it as she laid her head against his chest as if she could feel the heartbeat that wasn't really there.

"Bonnie…" he started

"I know." She said breathlessly "I can feel it."

"I don't understand though." he said

She looked up at him. Then she put her other hand on his chest and tried to concentrate as much as her fulfilled mind cold at the very moment. She wanted him to feel it all too. Lord knows, her heart was over filled as well. She wanted him to know how safe she always felt. Silent seconds ticked by and his facial expression change. He actually took a deep intake, and his forehead leaned down and laid on hers. She didn't remove her hands.

"How…"

"I wanted to know what you were thinking, but then this happened…I don't know. It's never happened before. It was like it just poofed." She interjected; her words meshing together quickly as if there was no room to breathe.

"Why do you want to know what I was thinking?" he asked

Bonnie looked away from him, but he just tilted her chin back to look at him.

"I wanted to know if you were angry." She said quietly

"Angry?"

"I don't want you to go."

"Where would I go?" he asked

Bonnie looked away now and completely pulled away. Stefan felt it all disappear, and all he wanted was for sudden emotion back. It was an empty feeling he felt now.

"I'm empath Stefan." She said

It explains a lot, Stefan thought to himself. It was bound to happen with how emotional she could be. He wasn't sure why he wouldn't have recognized it. But now it was bothering her. She was now dissecting it all. She didn't want there to be anymore hurting. It was her hurting now though.

Stefan walked over to the now pacing redhead and stopped her with a firm grip on her shoulders that slowly moved down her arms.

"I'm not mad. You made mistakes. It makes you human." He said

"What's that make you then?" she asked and he smirked knowing that she was being sarcastic.

"Well, I tend to think that means I still have a little humanity in me."

"Only a little?"

She was picking on him now and she was letting him in on what and how she was feeling. She didn't know how to control it yet.

"Just a little." He assured her then leaned down and kissed her. She protested a little at first then he felt her cave. Warmth surrounded her and a set of words broke through her mind along with a rush that made her dizzy enough that Stefan had to hold her up with an arm around her waist that held her against him. It was the connection. It felt so strong. This is what it had felt like for her. This is how it was for Elena. She'd always envied it and now she had it for herself. Stefan pulled away in that moment.

"I never had this with her. Ever." He said making it crystal clear "I don't even know what this is. Usually there has to be a blood exchange."

Bonnie want to say ew, but held her tongue. She'd gotten better at that, but Stefan caught the look in her eyes and grinned a little before pecking her on the lips. The peck turned into a full on kiss, which turned heated and he ended up pressing her to the nearest wall. Desire quickly filled up the tense room, and neither of them were letting up. Bonnie moaned a little in the heat of it and Stefan felt it. She could feel him turning aggressive inside and as his fingers grabbed into her skin more. It was all heightened and she didn't know how to stop or even if she could let alone if she wanted to. Stefan growled and she gasped when he yanked her p off her feet, and she was slammed against the wall. The desire had turned to lust.

"Oh, we should stop. He have to." she breathed

And somehow it did. Her head leaned back against the wall, and she was looking up at the skylight where the last of the sun was fading.

She'd remembered that they weren't alone in this place. It always felt as if it was only them, but now, she could that it wasn't only them, literally. Stefan set her back on her feet, but her gaze never parted from his as she stepped away from him little by little. She was afraid to turn around with the thought that he'd pull her back and not let her out. She looked at him and thought about the times when she hadn't been able to, because of how nervous she felt, because he wasn't hers to look at. When she did turn, she turned the door knob and walked out. She didn't bother closing the door. His footsteps were quiet, but that didn't mean that she didn't know he was right behind her. Meredith had managed to get up, but she still didn't say much let alone move much. She'd only moved to a chair a little farther into the room.

"I should go." Christian mumbled as he stood up.

He could feel the tension that surrounded the room.

"Wait," Bonnie spoke up "why did you give up?"

It was a valid question. In the years she'd known about the lifestyle of vampires, giving up was not in their description.

"I hoped that maybe if I did what I did that you wouldn't still be in love with the other one. It was so empty when it happened, and I was so angry in the beginning about it. I'd had you first, and yet you wanted someone else. Someone else who knew what and how you felt because you were so alone, and it was him."

"You didn't have me first Christian."

"I know that now. He did." He said gesturing towards Stefan.

"No, I didn't either." Stefan spoke up

He'd taken the words from Bonnie's mouth. He knew it was true though and he could accept it, because he had her now and that was that. Damon wouldn't have cared for Bonnie the way she wanted, and he was sure that she knew that on some level. It didn't mean that she didn't still love him. She cared deeply for his brother. She always would, but he was gone, and she'd accepted that. They both had. He wasn't here, but they were.

"Damon…"

The words were unexpected from Meredith's lips being the two of them had been in a fight and she'd nearly succeeded in killing him. Bonnie was still unsure if it was on purpose or not though. When she looked at her, it seemed like she was reminiscing. What did she have to reminisce about him? Those two kept their distance quiet well being they'd had respect for one another, but not so much as friendship. They were…an acquaintance…that's word.

Christian stood and headed for the door. The look on Justin's face was clear that it was good riddance. Bonnie on the other hand started to feel pity. Meredith had stood too. Christian stared at her blankly. Bonnie on the other hand looked back at Stefan for help. He looked at her flatly with anger, it wasn't strong, but it was like a grudge holding feeling. Bonnie gave him a flat look then pointed. Stefan let out a loud sigh as if he were a six year old child ready to throw a temper tantrum.

"Wait," he said "You really shouldn't go off alone if you want to avoid a repeat of history."

"Then what do you suggest? Me stick around with the ones that would love to fillet me alive? No thanks." He said

"Everyone hated Damon in their own sense." Bonnie chimed in "Even I did. I hated him for not loving me the way I loved him. I just never told anybody, because I hated the feeling."

It seemed like news to everyone including Stefan. He knew on some level, but it still seemed to not register. The look in Bonnie's eyes though was serious.

"Stick around if you'd like or go get yourself killed. If I were you though, I'd stick around people who hated me rather than run into something worse." She continued. They'd all seen worse, so for some reason this didn't seem so bad all of the sudden.

"I still want to shoot him." Justin said

Meredith glared at him and he just shrugged not caring. The look between was like they were annoyed with each other. It made Bonnie want to laugh, because Justin wasn't the slightest bit intimidated. He had that look that said 'yeah, I've dealt with worse, so I don't care'. Meredith rolled her eyes and turned to her brother. She stared at him.

"I guess we stick around then." She told him

"So you speak for me now?" he snapped

"As a matter of fact, yes." She replied

He growled under his breath towards her. She was unfazed by it. She turned to Bonnie right then.

"Is it over?"

Bonnie looked at her questioningly. Then she remembered back into the past seven hours or so.

"I think so." She answered looking at Christian.

He seemed to still look at her like she was the angel. Bonnie knew better. Things would change. They'd have to. None of them were the people they were. They weren't friends with the people they once were let alone in love with the people they once were. Bonnie looked around at them. This was it. These were the people in her life now. It was the change after the fire.

"I'm hungry." Meredith said bluntly making Justin scoff. She picked something up randomly and threw it at him. Christian smirked slightly. He was still uneasy. Stefan leaned quietly against the wall by Bonnie's bedroom door.

There were always days where Bonnie thought about the old days. The Damon days. Today wasn't one of them. Nobody had died. Nobody had gotten hurt. Everybody fell apart, because they wanted something inevidable. There was something that Bonnie thought she wanted too. She was too afraid to ask, but she heard those words she'd heard earlier and it reassured her all over again. _I love you._ She looked at him and could see a smile pulling at his lips.

"Let's eat then." Bonnie said


	31. Later On Down The Road

Weeks had gone by now. Stefan had moved in and Christian and Meredith had found a place in the city. They'd stayed. It surprising to find that out. Christian didn't come around much, but Stefan went out a lot, because Christian was in need of learning how not to kill someone. It was like Christian lacked the humanity and Stefan was gaining it for him. Justin was busy helping Bonnie with her problems as well. She kept feeling everyone's emotions and She'd either start beating on someone randomly, because someone felt so angry or she'd end up crying because someone felt so sad. It was giving her bad migraines.

She was getting the hang of it, but when she'd be with Stefan it'd get out of control. Things would end up broken around the place, and it wasn't from them being angry at each other. Though at one time when they were fighting Bonnie had somehow managed to take on vampiric abilities and knocked him across the room. Bonnie instantly rushed to his side and was panicking. Stefan just started laughing and wouldn't stop. He'd never seen anything like it, and when she started to yell at him again he just grabbed a hold of her and kissed her.

Bonnie's work was also getting to be something she enjoyed. Generally she wanted something she knew and she had no idea how much she didn't know when she'd walked into Anica's shop. The life was complicated. It was always complicated. Bonnie's mind was no longer filled with thoughts she used to have, thoughts about boys and if her hair looked right and if she'd be going to the football game. It was now thoughts like am I going to die today, will a vampire try to drink from me, am I too appealing to supernatural things, will I accidentally hurt someone I shouldn't?

Everything has changed. Every ounce of it all. Bonnie looked at the proof that had just walked into the shop.

"You look familiar." She said

Stefan looked at her and smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you must have one of those faces." She said

Stefan pulled her from behind the counter.

"Maybe that's it." he said

"I should tell you that I don't get involved with strangers." She said shaking her head

"Oh really? Care to test that?" he challenged

Before Bonnie could answer he'd kissed her. She let out a small moan.

"I could let it slide and get involved with this stranger just this once." She said

"Just once?"

Bonnie only smiled and grabbed her coat. Then she walked past Stefan out of the store. The two had been close, real close. Bonnie had the luxury of sharing the emotions she felt with him. She thought often that that's what kept them close. Stefan told her otherwise and every time she'd believe him. He was right.

Stefan followed her and wrapped his arms around her waist as they walked. Anyone who stared at them while they walked would've figured that they were just ordinary kids going to the college nearby in love. They didn't go to college though. They weren't kids anymore. They'd even talked about the serious things like Bonnie getting changed into a vampire. Stefan instantly rejected. Bonnie apologized after he did. When he didn't understand why she apologized she told him that she was sorry that he'd be losing her slowly as she age and he didn't. They didn't talk for a few days after that. When they did he told her that he didn't want to force her to do something like that. She only said that there was no forcing to it. It was a simple choice. The only thing she was afraid of was losing after she'd been changed. She didn't want to be alone forever. Stefan had taken the advantage right then as she wanted to cry. He'd taken her into his arms and held her that night. That decision had been a difficult and there was a date set for it too. Her twentieth birthday exactly.

When they got back to the loft they could hear Justin and Meredith going on about something. The two of them loved to argue, literally and they seemed love more than just that. Bonnie and Stefan figured that out when they had seen Meredith walk out of Justin's bedroom one morning. They weren't exactly dating yet, but they were approaching that. It would make Bonnie smile constantly being it was like prime entertainment she didn't have to pay for.

"So what is the argument about this time?" Stefan asked

He hadn't let go of Bonnie. He liked being able to have a hold of her. He wouldn't let go either.

Before there was an answer from either of them there was a knock at the door. Bonnie looked at Meredith a Justin then Stefan.

"Christian knows he doesn't have to knock. He's been invited in." She said

It was strange. It had Bonnie very nervous. She squeezed Stefan's hand right then.

"I'll go answer it." She said in a quiet voice

Slowly she made her way to the door. She knew everyone else was waiting in anticipation. As she grabbed the doorknob she thought about just saying that nobody was home. She just got a bad feeling. Then opening the door several things happened at once.

One: "Oh my god" Meredith said

Two: "Oh shit." Justin said

Three: Bonnie passed out and hit the floor upon seeing who was there.

"Damon." Stefan said unable to believe who stood there

Damon looked down at the young woman at his feet. He picked her up.

"You're the girl with red hair, little bird." He said sincerely ignoring the others in the room

**Yep, that's the end...Sucky cliffy eh?**


End file.
